LECTURE 3: THE COUNSELOR: THE PERSON AND

PROFESSIONAL
3.0 INTRODUCTION
This is our third lecture. This section cover the qualities and characteristics of an effective
counselor. For a person to engage in counselling he/she be a professional. This is person trained
in the area of psychology and specifically counseling psychology. Training for counsellors in
Kenya is carried out in middle and institutions of higher learning. A counsellor receive training
which enable them discharge their duties depending on training and qualifications. There are
certified counsellors who are licensed to practice. Counseling is therefore not for everyone.
A counsellor must possess specific characteristics which enable him/her to help clients.

Specific objectives
At the end of the lesson you should be able to;
 Define professional counsellor?
 Outline personal characteristics of an effective counselor
 Give challenges facing beginning therapists

1.3 Lecture outline

Counsellor; the person and professional
Personal characteristics of a counselor
Issues faced by of beginning therapists

Reasons for lack of counselling departments in some organizations

Outline objectives of workplace counseling
3.1 THE COUNSELOR: THE PERSON AND PROFESSIONAL
As a therapists you serve as models for your clients. If you model incongruent behavior, low-risk
activity, and remain hidden, you can expect your clients to imitate this behavior. If you model
realness by engaging in appropriate self-disclosureyour clients will tend to be honest with you in
the therapeutic relationship. To be sure, counseling can be for better or for worse. Clients can
become more of what they are capable of becoming, or they can become less that they might be.
In my judgment the degree of aliveness and psychological health of a counselor are crucial
variables that determine the outcome.

3.1.1 Personal characteristics of Effective Counselors

In thinking about counselors who are therapeutic, I have identified a cluster of personal qualities
and characteristics. I do not expect any therapist to fully exemplify all these traits. Rather, for me
the willingness to struggle to become a more therapeutic person is the crucial quality. This list is
intended to stimulate you to examine your ideas of what kind person can make a significant
difference in the lives of others.

 Effective counselors have an identity. They know who they are what they are capable
of becoming, what they want out of life, and what is essential.
 They respect and appreciate themselves. They can give help and love out of their own
sense of self-worth and strength.
 They are able to recognize and accept their own power. They feel adequate with
others and allow others to feel adequate with them.
 They are open to change. They exhibit a willingness and courage to leave the security of
the known if they are not satisfied with what they have. They make decisions about how
they would like to change, and they work toward becoming the person they would like to
become.
 They are making choices that will shape their lives. They are aware of early decisions
they made about themselves, others, and the world. They are not the victims of these
early decisions, for they are willing to revise them if necessary.
 They feel alive, and their choices are life-oriented. They are committed to living fully
rather than settling for mere existence.
 They are authentic, sincere, and honest. They do not hide behind masks, defenses,
sterile roles, and facades.
 They have a sense of humor. They are able to put the events of life in perspective. They
have not forgotten how to laugh, especially at their own foibles and contradictions.
 They make mistakes and are willing to admit them. They do not dismiss their errors
lightly, yet they do not choose to dwell on misery.
 They generally live in present. They are not riveted to the past, nor are they fixated on
the future. They are able to experience the now and be present with others in the now.
 They appreciate the influence of culture. They are aware of the ways in which their
own culture affects them, and they respect the diversity of values espoused by other
cultures. They are also sensitive to the unique differences arising out of social class, race,
sexual orientation and gender.
 They have a sincere interest in the welfare of others. This concern is based on respect,
care, trust, and a real valuing of others.
 They become deeply involved in their work and derive meaning from it. They can
accept the rewards flowing from their work, yet they are not slaves to their work.
 They are able to maintain healthy boundaries. Although they strive to be fully present
for their clients, they don’t carry the problems of their clients around them during leisure
hours. They know how to say no, which allows them to keep a balance in their lives.

The emotional/psychological wounding may result to a number of physical responses and

stressors by the end lower production, performance, morale, and development of a negative
attitude at work place put another way counseling provides the foundation to the employees to
process their emotional wounding/psychological disturbances by being helped to either cope
with the situation or deal with the situation it or deal with it.
The importance of counseling at work place lies in the fact that the employees affected by issues
both at home and vice versa impact on them both at physical and psychological level.
 Counseling is a helping process that uses safety engendered by a special kind of
relationship to help individuals to get access to a greater part of their personal resources
as a means of responding to the challenges of life. It uses specific skills and techniques
in that relationship to help people become more competent, more contented and more
creative. It does not deal primarily deal with the mentally ill but with normal individuals
facing all the difficulties involved in life. It is about helping people to grow in emotional
fitness and health.

3.2 ISSUES FACED BY BEGINNING THERAPISTS

In this section I identify some of the major issues that most of us typically face, particularly
during the beginning stages of learning how to be a therapists. When you complete your formal
course work and begin facing clients, you will be put to the test of integrating and applying what
you have learned. at that point some real concerns are likely to arise about your adequacy as a
person and as a professional. Here are some useful guidelines for your reflection on dealing with
the challenges of becoming an effective counselor.
Dealing with our Anxieties

Most beginning counselors anticipate meeting their initial clients with ambivalent feelings. A
certain level of anxiety demonstrates that we are aware of the uncertainties of the future with our
clients and of our abilities to really be there and stay with them. Our willingness to recognize and
deal with these anxieties as opposed to denying them by pretenses is a mark of courage. That we
have self-doubts seems perfectly normal; it is how we deal with them that counts. One way is to
openly discuss them with a supervisor and peers. The possibilities are rich for meaningful
exchanges and for gaining support from fellow interns who probably have many of the same
concerns, fears, and anxieties.

Being and Disclosing Ourselves

Because we are typically self-conscious and anxious when we begin counseling, we tend to be
over concerned with what the books say and with the mechanics of how we should proceed.
Inexperienced therapists too often fail to appreciate the values inherent in simply being
themselves. It is possible to err by going to extremes in two different directions. At one end are
counselors who lose themselves in their fixed role and hide behind a professional façade. Here
counselors are so bound up in maintaining stereotyped role expectations that little of them as a
person shows through. At the other end are therapists who strive too hard to prove that they are
human. They tend to make the mistake of inappropriately burdening their clients with
spontaneous impressions they are having towards them. At either end of these poles we are not
being ourselves.

Avoiding Perfectionism

Perhaps one of the most common self-defeating beliefs with which we burden ourselves is that
we must be perfect. Although we may well know I intellectually that humans are not perfect,
emotionally we often feel that there is little room for error. I teach counseling students that they
need not burden themselves with the idea that they must be perfect. It takes courage to admit
imperfections. But there is a value in being open about being less than perfect. To be sure, you
will make mistakes, whether you are a beginning or a seasoned therapists. If our energies are tied
up presenting an image of perfection, we will have little energy left to be present for our clients. I
tell students to challenge their notions that they should know everything and should be perceive
as errors during their supervision. students willing to risk making mistakes in supervised learning
situations and willing to reveal their self-doubt will find a direction that leads to growth.

Being Honest About Our Limitations

We cannot realistically expect to succeed with every client. It takes honesty to admit that we
cannot work successfully with everyone. However, there is a delicate balance between learning
our realistic limits and challenging what we sometimes think of as being “Limits” for example,
we may tell ourselves that we could never work with specific client population because we
cannot identify with them. Before deciding that you do not have the life experiences or the
personal qualities to work with a given population, try working in a setting with a population you
do not intend to specialize in. this can be done through diversified field placements or visits to
agencies.

Understanding silence

Silent moments during a therapeutic session may seem like silent hours to a beginning therapist.
Yet this silence can have many meanings. The client may be quietly thinking about some things
that were discussed earlier or evaluating some insight just acquired. The client may be waiting
for the therapist to take the lead and decide what to say next, or the therapists may be waiting for
the client to do this. Either the client or the therapists may be bored, distracted, or preoccupied or
may just not have anything to say for the moment. The client may be feeling hostile toward the
therapist and thus be playing the game of “ Iʼll just sit here like a stone and see if he/she can get
to me. ” the client and the therapists may be communicating without words. The silence may be
refreshing, or the silence may say much more than words. Perhaps the interaction has been on a
surface level, and both persons have some fear or hesitancy about getting to a deeper level. When
silence occurs, acknowledge and explore with your client the meaning of the silence.

Dealing with demands from a client

A major issue that puzzles many beginning counselors is how to deal with clients who seem to
make constant demands. Because therapists feel that they should extend themselves in being
helpful, they often burden themselves with the unrealistic standard that they should give
unselfishly regardless of how great the demands on them are. The demands may manifest
themselves in a variety of ways. Clients may demand to see you more often or for a longer
period than you provide; want to see you socially; expect you to manipulate another person
(spouse, child parent) to see and accept their point of view; demand that you continually
demonstrate how much you care; or demand that you tell them what to do and how to solve a
problem. One way of heading of these demands is to make your expectations and boundaries
clear during the initial counseling session or in the disclosure statement.

Dealing with clients who lack commitment

Many clients are involuntary in that they are required by a court order to obtain therapy. In these
cases you may well be challenged in your attempt to establish a working relationship. But it is
possible to do effective work with clients who are sent to you.

Practitioners who work with involuntary clients must begin by openly discussing the nature of
the relationship. They should not promise what they cannot or will not deliver. It is good practice
to make clear the limits of confidentiality as well as any other factors that may affect the course
of therapy. In working with involuntary clients it is especially important to prepare them for the
process, for doing so can go a long way toward dealing with resistance. Often, in fact, resistance
is brought about by a counselor who omits preparation and merely that all clients are open and
ready to benefit from therapy.

Tolerating Ambiguity

Many beginning therapists experience the anxiety of not seeing the fruits of their labor. They ask
themselves: “Am I really doing my client any good? Is the client perhaps getting worse?” I hope
you will learn to tolerate the ambiguity of not knowing for sure whether your client is improving
at least during the initial sessions. It is important to realize that clients may seemingly “ get
worse ” before they show therapeutic gains. Also, realize that the fruitful effects of the joint
efforts of the therapist and the client may not be manifest for months (or even years) after the
conclusion of therapy.

Avoiding losing ourselves in our clients

A common mistake for beginners is to worry too much about clients. There is a danger of
incorporating client’s neuroses into our own personality. We lose sleep wondering what
decisions they are making. We sometimes identify so closely with clients that we lose our own
sense of identity and assume their identity. Empathy becomes distorted and militates against a
therapeutic intervention. We need to learn how “let clients go” and not carry around their
problems until we see them again. The most therapeutic thing is to be as fully present as we are
able to be (feeling with our clients and experiencing their struggles with them) but to let them
assume the responsibility of their living and choosing outside of the session. If we become lost in
clients struggles and confusion, we cease being effective agents in helping them find their way
out of the darkness. If we accept the responsibility for our client’s decisions we are blocking
rather than fostering their growth.

Because it is not appropriate for us to use clients time to work through our reactions to them, it is
all the more important that we be willing to work on ourselves in our own sessions with another
therapist, supervisor, or colleague. If we do not engage in this kind of self-exploration, we
increase the danger of losing ourselves in our clients and using them to meet our unfulfilled
needs.

Developing a sense of humor

Therapy is responsible matter, but is need not be deadly serious. Both clients and counselors can
enrich a relationship by laughing. I have found that humor and tragedy are closely linked and
that after allowing ourselves to feel some experiences that are painfully tragic, we can also
genuinely laugh at how seriously we have taken our situation. We secretly delude ourselves into
believing we are unique-that we are alone in our pain and we alone have experienced the tragic.
What a welcome relief when we can admit that pain is not our exclusive domain. It is important
to recognize that laughter or humor does not mean that work is not being accomplished. There
are times, of course, when laughter is used to cover up anxiety or to escape from the experience
of facing threatening material. The therapists need to distinguish between humor that distracts
and humor that enhances the situation.

Sharing responsibilities with the clients

You will probably struggle with finding the optimum balance in sharing responsibilities with the
clients. One mistake is to assume full responsibility for the direction and outcomes of the
therapy. This will lead to taking from your clients the rightful responsibility they need if they are
to become empowered by making their own decisions. It could also increase the like hood of
your early burnout. Another mistake is for you to refuse to accept the responsibility for making
accurate assessments and designing appropriate treatment plans for your clients. How
responsibility will be shared should be addressed at the beginning of the therapeutic relationship.
Early during the course of counseling, it is your responsibility to discuss specific matters such as
length and overall duration of the sessions, confidentiality, general goals, and methods used to
achieve goals.

It is important to be alert to your client’s efforts to get you to assume responsibility for directing
their lives. Many clients see a “magic answer” as a way of escaping the anxiety of making their
own decisions. Yet it is not your role to assume responsibility for directing your clients lives.
Collaboratively designing contracts and homework assignments with your clients can be
instrumental in your clients increasingly finding direction from within themselves. Perhaps the
best measure of our effectiveness as counselors is the degree to which clients are able to say to
us, “I appreciate what you have been to me, and because of your faith in me, I am confident that
I can go it alone.” Eventually, if we are effective, we will be out of business!

Declining to give advice

Quite often clients who are suffering come to a therapy session seeking and even demanding
advice. They want more than direction; they want a wise counselor to make a decision or resolve
a problem for them. However, counseling should not be confused with dispensing information.
Therapists help clients discover their own solutions and recognize their own freedom to act.
Therapists do not deprive clients of the opportunity to act freely. Even if we, as therapists, were
able to resolve their struggles for them, we would be fostering their dependence on us. They
would continually need to seek our counsel for every new twist in their difficulties. Our job is to
help clients make independent choices and accept the consequences of their choices. The
habitual practice of giving advice does not work toward this end.


 Lecture activities

 What personal characteristics would you recommend for a counsellor?

 Why do you think counselling is referred to as relationship?
 Do you think counselling in organizations should be left for human resource department?
Give reasons for your answer.
Self-test
Personal characteristics that counsellors should possess in order to be effective in their work.
Explain how counsellors as individuals can stay alive in the profession and how they can prevent
burn out
What challenges in your opinion confront beginning therapists?