There is more to love than twin-flames

and soul mates

By Alex Lowe

Many people have heard of polyamory, and monogamy, as the most

opposite ways that love can manifest. I'm not here to discuss which
philosophy is right or wrong, but I hope that this tiny piece of writing
will help to bring up some important points, and become a useful to
some.

Many thousands of us became stuck on the Soul-Mates or Twin-Flame

idea. The Twin-Flame love is a spiritual love, it represents our deepest
desires to feel loved and accepted without any prior conditions or
circumstances. What happens when a person meets their Twin Flame, is
that they experience the Eternal-Love. A feeling of having always loved
and always going to love that person, and for no apparent reason. It is
this lack of a reason that makes this love spiritual.

Because when love has a reason, it can't exist in that form permanently.
Because the spiritual world has no time or space, and when love has its
basis or cause in time and space, then the love can't bring the eternal
into time and space.

The snag is that, by obsessing about the Twin-Flame love, we do exactly

that. And that's why the Twin-Flame is the most powerful deceiver and
also truth about romantic love, and here is why.

We aren't all the same. We're all experiencing the same 'awakening' but
we're not all the same. We all come from the same source, but we are
made of different stuff, and there is no one solution for everything.

Sometimes people do end up with their Twin-Flame. But most don't.

And this becomes easier to understand once we let go of the idea of
having to belong to a particular person, even though our emotions and
the signs would seem to suggest that we do.

Whether we end up being with them or not, what a Twin-Flame actually

is, is exactly the words used, the twin of our inner fire. It's part of the
awakening process, as the universe allows us to witness our own power
and love in another individual. But power and fire aren't the same thing
as love and if our power and fire isn't in balance, we won't be able to have
a relationship with our Twin-Flame.

It happens that another person was born at a similar time to us, carrying
the spark of fire which we also have. But although eternal, it's a memory
we have that associates the fire with the other person. The person we
meet as our Twin-Flame doesn't own that fire, it's just that their path
towards the present meant that they identified with it. They are the exact
physical manifestation of that fire in our heart, and those intense feelings
of love and romance. But they don't own our soul, and they aren't a lost
part of us. If a Twin-Flame can't accept our personality then they also
don't accept our soul fully.

A twin-flame is the exact manifestation of our own romantic fire on

earth. But unless you've already become one with your other selves in a
way agreeable with the twin, they won't be able to see your Higher Self or
true intentions, they'll see your fear as your weakness and a reason to
chase you or to be distant from you.

This is the exact manifestation of intense romance and fire. But it's not
the true, eternal love that was meant for each of us. And the reason for
that is that the right person would love us, and would want to be around
us.

Our ego and our fir, want the Twin-Flame experience, because it makes
us feel extremely special and like we're on the journey of a lifetime. But
someone who loved you, for all of you, wouldn't want to run from you or
to chase you. And the journey is one only we can take.

Twin-Flame teachers have said that we need to work on ourself more,

and accept what comes, and then the Twin-Flame will return.

But if someone totally and completely loved us, then they wouldn't be
intimidated by the ego or the inner struggles. They wouldn't see the
struggles as our weakness. They wouldn't want to run away from us. A
person who truly loves us wouldn't run. It's quite simple I think, but it
took me twenty years to get my head around it.

For a lot of us Twin-Flames are a manifestation of love that we

encounter, but aren't at the same frequency as us beyond their physical
and spiritual heart center. This is why we're unlikely to fascinate your
Twin-Flame with your imagination, which is as much a key to your soul
as your heart is. We are not here to find a perfect solution to love and to
just 'be' there. Love is not a thing, but a movement and action. Our life
partner is someone who can love the World with us, because they love
everything about us. The Twin-Flame connection is the truth of our
heart, but oftentimes it is not active beyond the unconscious and deep
feeling, and is not the ultimate truth of our love.

For people who do get with their Twin-Flames, that's because they were
always meant to. That is their ultimate truth. But for the rest of us, we
eventually realise that the ultimate truth is not about constantly
changing and evolving ourselves to be accepted. We just want to be
loved. We felt like we could be loved purely, and we weren't. So there is
no good in looking to the heart of one person, closed off to us, and
unable to play and love with us actively. When we focus on Twin-Flame
love like this, we realise that the eternity of that love cannot manifest. It
is a moment, locked away, because for one reason or other both people
did not open to it. It is not their job to open that box, or our job to prove
that we are wary.

It is our job to see beyond that box and to recognise love outside of its
prison. Our love is not meant to be trapped and waiting for us. We have
to let it come through us. We have to invite it and make friends with it,
and not limit it to the brief Twin-Flame events which seem timeless and
ever present. Our Twin-Flame is not ever present for most of us, but the
box is. And the answer is not to wait for our Twin-Flame, but to open the
box ourselves.

But Twin-Flames are special. Because they awaken the idea that love can
be more real than illusion. Most relationships seem to allow us to hobble
along through life without us having to face our true desires and needs.
Twin Flames show us what those desires and needs are, the good and the
bad, and we will never look at love the same way again.

Now I'm going to talk about another angle on love: polyamory. Like the
Twin-Flame philosophy, the polyamory-philosophy can be equally fierce
and black and white when it comes to dictating what a relationship is
and isn't. Let's make a comparison

Twin Flames: love should be saved only for something very spiritual.

Polyamory: nothing is spiritual or not spiritual and our needs and

emotions should not be limited.

Wholegamy: love should be saved for the spiritual, but creation and
sharing is the whole nature of love to begin with, regardless of how we
do it.

Twin Flames: only one person can fully unlock our heart.

Polyamory: it is unfair to expect one person to fulfil our expectations,

so instead multiple people can.

Wholegamy: it is unfair to expect anyone to fulfil expectations, but love

is still the means to bypassing them.

Twin Flames: love is eternal, but only with one person.

Polyamory: love can be eternal or temporary and it changes.

Wholegamy: love is eternal but some of its manifestations are more

changing and evolving than others. How 'eternal' love is, depends on if
we embody the eternal or not in the Now.
Twin Flames: we belong to only one person.

Polyamory: we don't belong or not belong to anyone.

Wholegamy: we belong to wherever we feel truly loved.

Twin Flames: only purity and not mixing our energy will make us
ready for love

Polyamory: there is no purity and no limit to how much we can mix

Wholegamy: purity is important, but mixing will only damage us if the

mixing doesn't have a basis in love.

Twin Flames: the raw fire of love brings us together.

Polyamory: organisation and communication bring us together

Wholegamy: both the fire and the communication are manifestations of

true love, coming naturally as a result of true love.

Twin-Flames: desire should be spiritual and focused on one person.

Polyamory: desire is desire and may be anywhere.

Wholegamy: desire is always spiritual if it comes from love.

Twin-Flames: by being with one person, we can give them our full time
and focus.

Polyamory: by being with multiple people, we have no expectations on

time and focus.

Wholegamy: the more that we open to eternal love, the more that time
and focus arrange themselves naturally.

Twin-Flames: the twins maintain and keep their power together; it also
keeps them safe.
Polyamory: spiritual power is unimportant; power comes from letting
go.

Wholegamy: power must be both protective and open, it doesn't matter

in what way it is open, but it cannot be closed.

Rather like the Sith and the Jedi, it becomes clear that both of these
philosophies have both truth and falseness. And the falseness comes
entirely from the crack that divides them.

Romantic-triads, the future for some relationships?

Soon, it will become more noticeable that we need a world where we can
all have safe and loving relationships. Our relationships with each other
are really just touching the surface, because this is about how we see and
relate to the whole world.

Only when we care about nature as our own garden, and other species as
our distant brothers and sisters, can be live in a balanced and peaceful
world. There is a huge transformation currently underway to allow that
to happen. We are starting to learn the hard way, that love is really all we
have. Nothing is so abundant or powerful as love, and yet we live in a
world where its expression is twisted and suppressed.

To love is to be kind. To wish happiness and good luck to a person. Love

is to not leave others behind, when we know that they deserve kindness
and love. Love is to be kind when we weren't asked to. Love is to make
kindness our gift and creation.

The wholygamous-triad is an aspect of wholegamy that allows

peripheral-gender to be experienced as part of an original, monogamous
relationship.

Peripheral-gender is another word for bisexual, or bicurious individuals

who desire to integrate the bisexual aspect into an already monogamous
relationship. Importantly, this is not about filling a space, it's about
sharing the opposite polar aspect of yourself with your partner, whereas
most bisexual people in relationships would only fully experience one
gender polarity with their partner. With wholegamy, the terms
monogamous and polyamorous are just two ends of a spectrum which
may include aspects of both. The twin-flame is the perfect resonant
vibration to our own inner soul. But only so long as the soul is buried.
The destiny behind twin-flames only applies to the version of the
spiritual world that we are inside currently. And in the bigger world,
would it really seem right that our feelings of love and joy should depend
entirely upon the love of another? The twin-flame is how things were set
up for us, in this experience of reality and inside the system of love that
we are used to.

There is nothing wrong with this system, everything is made up of

systems, and the twin-flame is the reflection of our soul within that
system. But if we choose to leave that system and to greet everything that
our twin-flame was hiding behind and beneath them, then we are in a
much bigger world. If we love there, the universe around us will form a
system where that can manifest and reflect back and forth. But for
someone to do that they need to see how the spiritual world permeates
the physical, and how the two are the same. Only after doing that can
someone really open to the natural course of love, intended for their
soul, and manifest that into their world, instead of living a concentrated
and concealed form of that which they might not understand. Going
beyond the twin flame is to manifest your spiritual self into your life. It
does not matter how, so long as you find love in yourself and begin to see
that our world is made of that same feeling.

Once outside of that system, anybody can be our twin flame, anybody
who we feel any type of love for. With the right person we can manifest
the whole world from our twin flame which we didn’t have, once we let
go of the idea that our twin-flame is them. Actually, it is within us, and
the universe will naturally guide us towards someone who will be our
twin flame. At least that is what I hope for myself in the future.

The wholygamous or polyamorous parts can then come into this for
some people. I myself, do not feel the desire to. But it is a powerful
gesture of love to love someone, knowing that they love another as well
as you. One of my friends has had this happen to them recently, she is
from Canada and met her second or awakened twin-flame two years ago,
a guy from her city. They later met another women, who my friend
describes became the manifestation of the love shared between her and
her twin. There is always three, two people and the third energy, which is
the energy and creative love created by the two. Usually this goes
towards making babies. But it also connects the two in other areas of
live, in all that they do which is creative.

When my friend and her husband realized they were already outside of
the box, they found that this love manifested in the form of another
person, who they both came to love together. She fell in love with her
and her husband through the love they had for each other. So
automatically the three of them became connected.

My friend describes it that to see their girlfriend holding hands with her
husband gives her the same feeling of love as though she were holding
hands with him. Her love for him has bypassed the rules of the physical
so in a sense she becomes the same energy and love as their girlfriend, as
they both share the same love. It doesn’t feel threatening to her or like
she is not as loved, because she knows that as her husband loves their
girlfriend, he also loves her, and that as their girlfriend holds her
husbands hand, she is also holding his hand with her, beyond physical.
Her and her husband are connected and totally in love, and she believes
that wholegamy means that they can manifest that eternal,
unconditional love in different forms. But it is always the same love, not
bounded by physical contact, or by time, which makes it eternal in the
now.

I thought it necessary to share this perspective on love, as my friend

believes that there are others out there who understand this, but that the
world really isn’t ready yet to understand or acknowledge it for what it is.