Nintendo

A list of stupid names for the Switch 2

Suggestions welcome

Apr 6, 2024, 2:05 PM UTC

Really bad graphic for Niintentwo Swiitch

Graphic: Matt Patches/Polygon; Source image: Nintendo

Nintendo’s next console is upon us — ish? Dubbed the “Switch 2” by folks accustomed to Sony unimaginatively adding numbers to the end of PlayStation, the next iteration of Mario gaming hardware will reportedly arrive in 2025, after a shift in launch window. The delay leaves those who never dipped into the current-gen Nintendo catalogue with a tough decision: Buy a Switch now, or hold out for a Switch 2, whenever it actually hits shelves? Backward compatibility remains an unknown and not one of Nintendo’s historical achievements.

But as players who have long been glued to the drift-prone hybrid handheld, we have other questions on our mind. Mainly, what is Nintendo actually calling this thing?

Nintendo is not a company that iterates on the same concept over and over. It loves a gimmick, and those hard swerves have led directly to naming inspiration. A new gaming console that’s a cube? GameCUBE it is. A portable with a dual screen? Easy: Nintendo DS. Even 3DS and Wii U put a spin on familiar names based on new technology. Unless Switch 2 is a true successor console like Super Nintendo — and the original Switch might be perfect enough to demand such brand allegiance — the name of the device stands as basically unpredictable.

With that in mind, instead of trying to guess what out-of-left-field name Nintendo might pull out of its ~~hat~~ Cappy, we here at Polygon found ourselves spitballing everything the company almost definitely will not call the Switch 2. Below, we humbly submit a list of terrible next-gen console names for this coveted 2025 release. If any of these is the actual name of the console, the good news is, Nintendo has time to do even better.