Comedy defangs the taboo, so Stephen Colbert and Evie McGee Colbert have decided, at last, to tell the dreaded spoon story. The two have celebrated milestone anniversaries, welcomed three children and one dog, and now released the cookbook “Does This Taste Funny? Recipes Our Family Loves.” Secure in that solid foundation, Mr. Colbert and Ms. McGee Colbert conceded the time had come to revisit what has come to be one of the defining moments of their union.

It goes like this: The Colberts were just married and living in Chicago, where Mr. Colbert launched his career performing with Second City, when Ms. McGee Colbert took a metal spoon out from a drawer and scraped it across the surface of their pristine set of Calphalon nonstick pans.

Off in the distance, but almost visible from the porch of their home on Sullivan’s Island in South Carolina where this interview took place, Fort Sumter marks the ground where the Civil War broke out in 1861. The stakes of this inciting incident were only somewhat less consequential.

“We move into this apartment,” Ms. McGee Colbert recalled, “and I think we’re going to be chopping basil and cooking together and drinking wine and listening to Chet Baker.” Her new husband wasted no time disabusing her of those notions. “He’s like, ‘You shouldn’t do that,’” she said.

“I believe I said, ‘How about a wooden spoon?’” Mr. Colbert countered, head in hands.

Ms. McGee Colbert dropped her weapon and withdrew. She took one look at the man to whom she had pledged her troth and declared that there would be no more “having a fabulous time” in the kitchen. Mr. Colbert could have his mise en place and sparkling cookware. In the parlance of “Top Chef,” she packed her knives and went.

“I was like, ‘I’m out,’” Ms. McGee Colbert said. Next to her on a rattan couch in the humid Charelstonian summer, Mr. Colbert wiped his brow and groaned.