Dear Abby: It’s time to accept that close friendships can dissolve over time

DEAR ABBY: For the third time in my life, I am being shunned by long-term friends. Over the years, I have expended a great deal of time and effort to stay in touch with them. Back when we lived in the same places, we were very close. Ultimately, I moved away but always stayed in touch.

These friendships have spanned decades and, since we rarely see each other, I can’t understand what might have happened to precipitate this. I know everyone has issues, but they no longer respond, and I’m extremely hurt by it. It takes only seconds to acknowledge a text or email. Certainly, I’d be there for them in any way I could if they were having difficulties.

I’d like to tell them off, but I know it would resolve nothing, although it might be nice to get it off my chest. I’m finding it hard to let this go. What do you think I might do? It’s hard to believe they could be so callous. -- LET DOWN IN FLORIDA

DEAR LET DOWN: Friendships don’t always last forever. Sometimes ties that bind people together start to fray. Geographical distance only adds to that. If I thought telling these people off would accomplish anything positive, I would say go ahead and do it, but it won’t. It would only justify the reason (if there even IS a reason) why they have moved on.

The healthiest thing you can do for yourself now is accept that what you had in the past no longer exists and concentrate on cultivating relationships closer to home with people who want to be friends with you.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.