'Pink tote lid moments': Explaining the latest social media trend that strikes a serious tone

• The "pink tote lid moment" trend gained traction this week after a teen girl posted a video on TikTok, sharing how her mom yelled at her to help her move "pink tote lids" into her bedroom.
• Following the initial video, which has now been deleted, hundreds followed, citing traumatic childhood experiences.
• Mental health professionals are concerned the trend may be causing secondary trauma or revictimization among teens and young adults.

A new TikTok trend called "pink tote lid moments" is opening a more serious side of social media, as users open up about traumatic childhood experiences.

Videos included in the trend feature users sharing traumatic experiences, ranging from the introduction of an eating disorder to physical abuse inflected by parents. Mostly posted by young women, these videos tend to feature long on-screen captions set to Billie Eilish's somber song, "What Was I Made For?"

Mental health professionals are concerned about the implications of young people sharing these experiences online, which could potentially make them "very vulnerable to feedback from strangers," or lead to secondary trauma or revictimization for others.

Dr. Willough Jenkins, a child psychiatrist and associate professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, became aware of the trend on Monday.

"Initially, it was centered around these more like innocuous, smaller examples," Jenkins said, giving the example of a child being told to put up their shoes. "But it's really grown over the week into much more heavier content. At least the videos I've seen of late are people sharing some very traumatic situations, very abusive situations."

How did the 'pink tote lid moments' trend start?

The "pink tote lid moment" trend gained traction earlier this week, when a teen girl posted a video from a dark room, whispering to the camera. In the video, the girl shared that while in the bathroom, her mom banged on the door, insisting she help move "pink tote lids" into her bedroom.

Initially, the girl said her mom told her to move the "pink things" to her bedroom and when she asked clarification on what she meant, her mom got upset, raised her voice and cursed at her. Upon hearing the raised voices, the girl's dad entered the room and informed the girl to not "talk back" to her mom.

"They're going off. They're both just going off on me," the girl said in the video, breathing deeply with tears in her eyes.

The video has since been deleted, but several TikTok accounts have "stitched" (reposted) the video, making it accessible to watch again.

In a video posted by the same girl this week, she shared that her mom is "not abusive," and that she didn't expect the video to garner as much attention as it did.

TikTok moms weigh in

Following the trend's rise, moms have been weighing in, expressing concern that they may be "pink tote lid moms."

Content creator Nicki Marie, also known as Nicki Unplugged, shared a video that garnered more than 253,000 views, as of Friday afternoon.

"I'm not saying it's right, but for those of you who are watching all these videos going, 'Oh my god. I've like lashed out at my kid. I've yelled at my kid before.' There are other things that probably happened ... before that," she said. "I'm not an advocate for yelling at your kid, but we can't be gentle parenting 24 hours a day because some of our kids ain't gentle."

What Nickie Marie describes, taking out frustration on one person when the frustration is actually centered around something else, is called "displacement," Jenkins said. When parents are stressed, they may experience displacement more.

And stress among parents is rampant. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 48% of parents reported feeling overwhelmingly stressed on most days in 2023.

"If we're talking about the more innocuous examples shared, it's really important to recognize it, validate your child's feelings of being upset about it, apologizing and repairing the relationship," Jenkins said.

What do professionals think?

The "pink tote lid moment" trend offers an important opportunity for families to discuss mental health, Jenkins said. It also allows youth to feel validated, which can often be the necessary first step in seeking mental health. However, sensitive content can quickly be reduced to entertainment on social media.

"Particularly for minors, I think sharing these stories so publicly is really leaving them very vulnerable to feedback from strangers," Jenkins said.

Amy Hill is the executive vice president of learning and development at Burrell Behavioral Health in southwest Missouri. She said her main concerns with the trend are "unintentional" secondary trauma, when someone feels distress after hearing someone discuss trauma, and revictimization, when a traumatized person is retraumatized after hearing someone else discuss a similar trauma.

What can parents do?

Hill said the first step parents can take in helping children engage with appropriate content online is limiting screen time. She advised no more than two hours per day. Educating children on the impacts of social media digestion is also important, Hill added.

As for mental health concerns, students may find initial comfort in reaching out to a school counselor, Hill said. But ultimately, pursuing a licensed mental health professional is the best step in addressing trauma.

If you or someone you know is could be a victim of domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-8233 or text "BEGIN" to 88788. The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available at 988.

Greta Cross is a national trending reporter at USA TODAY. Follow her on X and Instagram @gretalcross. Story idea? Email her at [email protected].