The throning dating trend spreading among Zoomers refers to going out with someone to increase one’s social status. Things like affection, intimacy, connection, shared interests, and love may also play a role in the relationship, but for the person doing the throning, the top priority is boosting reputation and ego.
These types of relationships have a very long history across many cultures and have endured into the modern age, though they’ve fallen out of vogue in many countries. Recently, Gen Z has rediscovered the concept and spread the discourse on TikTok.
What is the throning dating trend?
The new interest in dating for a social status boost, called “throning,” started catching attention in November 2024. The term is derived from the word “throne,” possibly due to the history of royalty marrying each other for status and political jockeying.
CUNY Professor of Health Policy and Management Bruce Y. Lee, M.D. defines throning as “dating someone mainly to enhance one’s reputation and boost one’s ego by association—putting a partner on a throne to display to others rather than caring about the partner as a real person.”
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This doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a terrible act or that anyone will get hurt. As long as both partners understand and consent to this type of relationship, there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. It’s when the thronee doesn’t know that their partner is treating them as a status symbol that harm becomes likely.
The history of throning
Long before Gen Z gave it a new name, this type of dating was called hypergamy—a term invented in India in the 19th century. The more colloquial term might be “dating up” or “marrying up,” as this tactic was more likely to involve marriage during this time. Specifically, hypergamy refers to women marrying men of higher status with “the assumption that man is superior to woman,” according to history Ph.D. Carrie Whitney.
Long before the 19th century, attempting a status boost was often the primary motivator when it came to seeking a spouse. This was especially true among already high-status families. The practice can be seen in period dramas such as Bridgerton, which often depict storylines where young adults rebel by seeking to marry for love instead of social status.
The very concept of marrying for love emerged during the Middle Ages, according to The Week.
Throning in the 21st century
Consistent with the gendered term “hypergamy,” the concept of “trophy wives” and “gold diggers” emerged in the 20th century to describe women marrying for money and comfort, which is certainly related to status. Today, Gen Z is on TikTok talking about throning, which appears to have more to do with status, reputation, and ego than cash.
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In the age of the internet, a new trend requires new discourse. Social media users are already arguing about whether throning is morally permissible in any circumstances, or if anyone who does it is a terrible and selfish person.
Throning warning signs
Most agree that if someone is throning you without your knowledge, that’s not cool. Multiple articles and TikTok explainers list common signs that your partner is throning you, summarized below:
- They’re more interested in going out in public with you than staying in.
- They act differently toward you when you’re in public together.
- They constantly brag about you to others.
- They always have to take and post selfies with you.
- They’re hyperfocused on reputation—yours and theirs.
- They don’t seem interested in getting to know you or telling you about themselves.
- The relationship lacks genuine warmth and emotional intimacy.
- They disappear when you’re in crisis.
- The relationship feels one-sided.
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