Photo: Hudson Valley Catskill Region MLS, Global MLS, Staten island Multiple Listing Service, Berkshire Hathaway HomeService
Here at Curbed, we regularly indulge in the pleasure of scrolling through apartment listings. Look at enough of them, and you learn to spot the anomaly and zoom in. Why does this living room have two fireplaces? Who built an Old West style saloon in their palatial Park Avenue apartment? We were therefore thrilled to find out that John Wilson, host and creator of HBO’s How to With John Wilson, was also a bit of a listings obsessive. To that end, he’s just released his own book of Zillow finds, Your Dream Home, out with Sacred Bones Books, and much to our delight, he agreed to annotate a small selection of them for us.
When my landlord offered to sell me my apartment in 2020, I started comparison shopping to make sure I wasn’t getting ripped off. It quickly turned into an addiction, even though I had no intention of pursuing anything else. After a while, certain patterns started to emerge in the imagery and I felt like it would be cool to put them all into a little book. Here are a few images that stood out.
Photo: Global MLS, Inc.
Unclear if it was already like this or if they staged it to give you an idea of conversation-pit potential.
Photo: Columbia County & Northern Dutchess MLS
It looks like a 20-foot-tall person lives here.
Photo: Global MLS
I saw a few of these elevated toilets & I’m not sure why they have to be so high up. Might be because it’s in a basement? You can Free Solo your way up there if you dare.
Photo: Hudson Valley Catskill Region MLS
Bold position.
Photo: South Jersey Shore Regional MLS
Photo: South Jersey Shore Regional MLS
I found this while browsing Atlantic City listings. It’s in a beautiful old house right at the entrance to the Tropicana on South Brighton — looks like a normal kitchen until you notice the “slave quarters” sign above the pantry.
Photo: Staten Island Multiple Listing Service
Would love to watch Funny Games in this room or something.
Photo: Staten Island Multiple Listing Service Inc.
This is one of the thinnest doors I’ve ever seen.
Photo: One Key MLS
Sometimes there is no dressing at all and we’re left with a void — it feels like it could be a rendering from some architectural-design program, but it is in fact a real room.
Photo: Columbia Greene Northern Dutchess MLS
Despite all their attempts to make a flattering image, sometimes the problem inside is too big to fix.
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