I was coming off a situationship this past spring that pushed me into some social events and having fun. I went to an event with a few friends, and a man asked for my number. He had just landed in Boston for the next few months; he lives abroad.

We hung out the following weekend and had an instant connection. (Yes, I am going to be cheesy and say we both talked about how “different” this was.) Our first date was cooking dinner and talking for hours, and we truly never looked back. For the next five months, we traveled locally and internationally. We found fun in everything from walking the dog, to going out, to the boring activities like grocery shopping and commuting to work. We had a few small conflicts and miscommunications, but those were quickly resolved. He understood my anxious attachment, and I understood what security in a partner felt like for the first time. It was like he could drown out all the noise and calm my central system with his presence.

Ultimately his visit to Boston had come to an end and he had to return to Europe, but always on the basis of returning in a few months. We grappled with this but felt we were solid and knew we could miss each other for a bit and then be back together soon.

A month into long-distance, my “miss little anxious attachment” shift in tone was happening. I knew he was very stressed between moving back home, re-starting up his old life, trying to figure out the logistics of coming back to the U.S. – a lot of things I couldn’t fully understand but wanted to support.

I opened that can of worms, that I felt a bit off, and he realized maybe the situation was making him feel off. Texts became strained, vague, and confusing. FaceTimes stopped happening. I was hurting, he was confused. Everything unraveled very, very fast. He appeared so torn and distressed but was pushing me away at the same time.

After a week of space, now he feels like he doesn’t have the capacity with all the other variables in his life to be 100 percent in on this relationship. He said it’s best to end it as is and remain on good terms. He said his head is not in it anymore but he feels so awful about how everything has happened. He thinks needs time to get clarity on his future.

Meanwhile, I feel so heartbroken, yet I understand he’s prioritizing himself. I can’t even be mad about that.

I just don’t know how to make sense of any of this.

– Little Miss IDK