Understanding the Karpman Drama Triangle: Persecutor, Rescuer, and Victim

The Drama Triangle (based on the work of Karpman’s Drama Triangle) can help us understand how we tend to fall into unhealthy roles in relationships. This article can help you understand how to break out of the Drama Triangle and lead healthier relationships.

Do you ever feel like – no matter how hard you try to avoid it – drama seems to lurk around every corner? Drama is often an unavoidable part of life, but some of us end up immersed in drama more than others. In other words, we might spend more time caught in the Drama Triangle.

The Karpman Drama Triangle is made up of three roles: the Victim, the Rescuer, and the Persecutor. When we step into any one of these roles, we infuse our relationships with unhealthy behaviors.

Certain personality traits, such as narcissism, and certain life experiences, such as insecure attachment, can make us more likely to fall into these unhealthy patterns. However, we can choose to behave differently and sidestep the Drama Triangle altogether – we just need to know how.

To answer all of your questions on the Karpman Drama Triangle, this article covers:

• What the Drama Triangle is
• Real-life examples of the Karpman Drama Triangle
• The connection between the Drama Triangle and narcissism
• 3 ways to escape the Drama Triangle

Although insecure attachment can lead to being caught in at least one of the Drama Triangle. If you would like to better understand your attachment style, take our free attachment style test and receive your free report.

You can also read up on each style in our articles on the secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment styles.

The Drama Triangle Explained

So, to begin, what exactly is the Karpman Drama Triangle?

The concept of the Drama Triangle was proposed by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman in 1968. As a model of social interaction, Karpman believed that the Drama Triangle effectively described how we often adopt one of three unhealthy roles when attempting to resolve conflict. These roles are:

• The Victim
• The Rescuer
• The Persecutor

Although we are capable of shifting between these three roles depending on our unique circumstances and situation, more often than not, we assume only one. Also, our early years may influence the role we fall into. For instance, if you grew up with an authoritarian or punitive parent, you might fall into the Persecutor role when your child doesn’t behave as expected. Alternatively, a similar childhood may also cause you to take an opposing role such as the Rescuer if you deem your best friend’s partner to be treating them poorly.

To help clarify each role and the stances they take, let’s examine each in turn, starting with the Victim.

The Victim

Before we talk about the Victim, it’s important to make a distinction: we’re not talking about an actual victim (someone who was harmed by a traumatic event). Instead, we’re talking about times when we act like a victim.

The Victim is often described as having the “Poor me” mindset. In this stance, feeling hopeless, trapped, ashamed, embarrassed, and helpless is the norm.

In the Victim stance, we doubt our capabilities and look to others for guidance, allowing them to take responsibility and control over our lives. The people we seek out when we’re in the Victim position tend to be Rescuers. But what is a Rescuer?

The Rescuer

“Let me help you” is the stance the Rescuer usually takes. The Rescuer is often available to come to other people’s aid, especially when that person falls into the Victim role. Rescuers see Victims as vulnerable and do their best to intervene and save them from Persecutors.

Unfortunately, Rescuers feel so compelled to help Victims that they may sacrifice their own time, energy, and needs in the process.

The Persecutor

The Persecutor, on the other hand, is critical. Imagine someone saying, “This is all your fault” – this is textbook Persecutor behavior.

When a person is in the Persecutor role, they:

1. Are critical of another person’s actions, either not understanding why the person acted in a certain way or assuming the person had negative intentions.
2. Respond with judgmental criticism.

By acting in this way, the Persecutor belittles the other person, making them feel useless, ashamed, and inadequate. In other words, they pull them into the Victim role.

It’s important to note that while the Persecutor is typically critical of someone else, they are also often critical of themselves. In this way, they may flip between the Persecutor and Victim roles, being critical in some instances and feeling helpless and vulnerable in others.

Unfortunately, stepping into the Drama Triangle, whatever the role we take, is maladaptive. So, if you’re asking, “Which position should I be in?” The answer is none of them. Instead, the road to healthy relationships lies in stepping out of the Drama Triangle altogether. More on this later in this article.

First, nothing helps us understand a concept such as the Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer-Triangle more than a couple of real-life examples.

Karpman Drama Triangle Examples

Scenario 1

Your boss gave you a project but the instructions weren’t clear – they’re not the type of person to stick around and answer questions, so you’re left to figure it out. You turn to your supervisor for guidance, and they’re put out on your behalf.

You hand the project back, and your boss isn’t happy with it. They criticize you for doing a “subpar” job. You say nothing and take the grilling. You think to yourself, “Perhaps I should have done more. Maybe I should have asked more questions. Why am I so useless?”

Your supervisor overhears the conversation and comes to your aid. They explain to your boss exactly why the task wasn’t done to their liking and place the blame on your boss.

In this scenario, your boss has stepped into the Persecutor role. They’re angry that the work wasn’t done to their liking, and they want to hold you accountable. They see it as their responsibility to right the wrong. Their behaviors automatically put you into the Victim role, and you’re left feeling helpless and inadequate. When your supervisor steps in, they assume the Rescuer role. They see you being picked on unfairly, and they feel compelled to intervene.

Scenario 2

Your Dad had an authoritarian parenting style that often meant he criticized what you did when you were a child. One time, you fell while riding your bike. You went to your Dad for support and comfort, but you were met with criticism. He said, “Riding a bike isn’t hard – how did you fall off?!” You felt stupid for messing up on something as simple as riding a bike.

Your Mom came into the room and saw your bloody knee. Immediately, she came to your aid – cleaning you up and covering your cut with a bandaid. She told you that it’s OK and that many children fall off bikes.

In this scenario, your Dad took the Persecutor role, pulling you into the Victim stance. When your Mom came and offered comfort and reassurance and bandaged you up, she became the Rescuer.

The Connection Between the Karpman Triangle and Narcissism

Some people may feel more “trapped” in the Drama Triangle than others, but there’s a variety of reasons for why this might be the case. Perhaps the most significant of these reasons is narcissism.

Narcissism, although often a variety of personality traits, can also be part of a disorder known as narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissism is a hot topic of late, especially considering its connection to issues such as gaslighting and love bombing. Despite the fact that there’s still a lot to be understood about narcissism, experts have noticed a series of patterns when it comes to narcissism and the Drama Triangle.

Firstly, narcissists seem to naturally fall into the role of the Persecutor more than any other position in the Drama Triangle.

Secondly, narcissists and Rescuers often gravitate toward one another. Narcissists tend to always want more, more, more, and Rescuers typically like to give, share, and help out. Perhaps on a surface level, this has the makings of a great coupling – on a surface level, anyway.

The problem is, narcissists and Rescuers unconsciously play out the agreement, “You can’t be without me.” This agreement facilitates the narcissists relying on the Rescuers for validation, and the Rescuers feeling naturally rewarded for giving. As a result, narcissists and Rescuers become increasingly dependent on one another.

As time progresses, Rescuers become tired and frustrated by their needs being ignored and having the responsibility of being problem-solvers. So, they slip into the Victim role. Or, if they become angry and want to blame the narcissist, they take the Persecutor role, putting the narcissist in the helpless Victim role. But if you’ve ever met a narcissist, you’ll know that they have a need to be in control. So, when someone else puts them in the Victim role, there may likely be a power struggle as they try to take the superior and less vulnerable position of the Persecutor.

Experts suggest that narcissists never step out of the Drama Triangle – they’re always in one position, and it’s usually the Persecutor. However, regardless of whether we’re narcissistic or not, we can escape the Drama Triangle, it just takes an effective approach.

How to Get Out of the Drama Triangle

When we spend time in the Drama Triangle, we do two things:

1. Create unequal, drama-dominated relationships.
2. Keep relationships from developing and functioning in healthy and happy ways.

So, if you find yourself stepping into the Drama Triangle often, know that understanding the dynamics of the Drama Triangle is the first step to escaping it. However, to truly escape the Drama Triangle, you have to take action to step away from the unhealthy roles.

1. Start With Awareness

Once you become aware of your behaviors, you can begin to notice your unhealthy reactions in the moment, pause, and alter your response. Mindfulness meditation and journaling are some of the best ways to get started with this.

Research suggests that mindfulness meditation can help you get a better understanding of your emotions, reduce your stress, improve your concentration, ease any difficult thoughts, and improve your relationships.

Journaling can reduce your stress, increase your mindfulness, enhance memory, help you develop better problem-solving skills, and improve your emotional regulation.

Therefore, mindfulness and journaling are two of the best tools as a starting point to understand where you sit on the Drama Triangle.

2. Recognize the Shift You Need to Make

Once you’ve gained awareness, you can begin to shift your role. In his book, The Power of TED, John David Womeldorff (a life coach and executive leadership development professional) proposes the following three shifts:

1. Victim → Creator
2. Persecutor → Challenger
3. Rescuer → Coach

Let’s explore each shift in more detail.

From Victim to Creator

If you most often take the role of the Victim, your shift is to become the Creator. The Creator wants to create and be their best self—it involves three key beliefs.

These beliefs are:

1. I am enough.
2. I get to choose my response to events in life.
3. I am dedicated to learning and developing, even when I face hurdles or bumps in my journey.

From Persecutor to Challenger

If you find yourself slipping into the Persecutor role more often than not, your goal is to become the Challenger. Challengers encourage themselves (and others) to step up and grow so they can become the best person they can be. They have three key beliefs:

1. We’re meant to learn and grow.
2. In a world that’s unpredictable, my values are the most important thing.
3. Life isn’t about blame and judgment but about being honest.

From Rescuer to Coach

If you read about the Rescuer role and thought, “That’s me!” your task is to become a Coach. Coaches ask the fundamental question, “What do I want?” The Coach role is about being curious about your aspirations and finding new and innovative ways to achieve your goals. The three key beliefs of a Coach are:

1. Every human has innate wisdom.
2. I fully trust the discovery process.
3. I am the only one who has the power to decide what I want.

3. Seek Professional Support

It is possible to step out of the Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer-Triangle by yourself, but it takes a lot of hard work and determination. Therefore, the third step to escaping the Drama Triangle for most is to seek professional support from a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist.

Mental health professionals are highly trained to help you understand your unhealthy patterns of behavior. What’s more, they can help you process your past unhealthy relationships and give you the tools to act in different ways; i.e., to make the shift from Victim to Creator, Persecutor to Challenger, or Rescuer to Coach.

Final Word on the Karpman Drama Triangle

If you find yourself getting into drama too often, chances are you’re stuck in the Karpman Drama Triangle. Whether you fall into the Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer role, these unhealthy patterns of behavior could be stopping you from experiencing truly healthy, mutually fulfilling relationships.

The good news is that this cycle doesn’t have to be your permanent pattern of behavior: you can choose to escape it. Releasing yourself from the Drama Triangle requires enhanced self-awareness, learning about the direction you need to shift in (and why), and perhaps consulting a mental health professional for support.

Once these steps are taken, the door to the past will close, and the one to a positive future will open – one with healthy, meaningful relationships that stand the test of time.