Iran’s ‘unstoppable’ barrage met by Israel’s beach racket defense as Israeli forces, with an array of Arab and Western allies, put Tehran to shame for shameless aggression, and even Iranians are laughing
In an act of military force-turned-farce that not even the best satirists could script, Iran’s “formidable” assault on Israel turned into a live reality-show comedy.
Imagine the scene: Iran, guided by its Supreme Leader and its festooned generals with stern faces and fiery rhetoric, launches over 335 projectiles at Israel. Yet, even as these supposed harbingers of doom leave Iranian and Iraqi airspace, they start falling out of the sky like a food fight at a farmer’s market of airborne. Iranians, mocking their moolahs, characterized the effectiveness of the barrage aimed at the Zionist enemy as equivalent to the impact of cucumbers, bananas, and tomatoes, but at a cost of $200 million. Israeli air defense operators perhaps expecting a tense day, made it look easy knocking these “terrifying” vegetables down like spikes in a game of matkot (beach paddleball) on a Tel Aviv beach.
Adding to the derision, our neighbors in Jordan shared a chuckle with a claim that Queen Rania, with a monarch’s grace, swatted away six Iranian drones with a mere flick of her wrist.
Iron Dome’s Divine Save
But the Crowning jewel of ironies was the Iron Dome saving the Dome of the Rock. Amidst the cacophony of explosions and alerts, a swarm of descending missiles and fragments veered dangerously close to one of Islam’s holiest sites. Israel’s defense system, in a twist of divine comedy, intercepted the projectiles, one after the other. What would Iran’s headline read if they had destroyed the Dome? “The Al-Aqsa Flub: Iran flattens Islam’s third holiest site”?
Social media buzzed with memes and gifs, depicting Iran’s military might as terrifying as a salad tosser. Even the staunchest critics of militarism found themselves grateful for a brief respite provided by this unexpected comedy show.
It could have ended differently, of course. Iran’s intended display of power ended up as a lesson in humility, taught by Israel’s unflappable defense aided by an impressive array of allies who came together for this impressive show. This episode, though steeped in potential tragedy, turned into a global masterclass on how not to intimidate a nation. In the grand scale of military blunders, Iran’s assault might just take the cake—or perhaps more fittingly, the cucumber.
Why did the Iron Dome saved the Al Aksa Mosc? It is a Muslim monstrosity. If Iran’s bombs destroys it, the muslim world cannot say it’s Israel who did it……and that monstrosity would have gone