Kule Madime: How Karnataka's Tulus Marry The Dead

Every year in the Tulu month of Aati, in the monsoon, alongside ancestral worship, the Tulus observe Kule MadimePretha Kalyanam or Kule Madime is a tradition where the souls of the dead are married to one anotherOnce unmarried souls are married, they are believed to bless the weddings of those who are livingHow the weddings take place, what the customs look likeThis is the story of a wedding. The bride Shobha and the groom Chandappa are surrounded by their families, friends and loved ones, all dressed in wedding finery. As the atmosphere rings with wedding bells, chants, and cheers, the aroma of a delicious feast wafts through the air. The bride and groom are blessed for a happy life ever after. There is just one catch however. The bride and groom passed away nearly three decades back.Don’t worry, this podcast is not a horror story, and there are no ghosts involved. That was the story of a real wedding, a tradition in the Tulu tribe of coastal Karnataka, that is believed to bring salvation to the departed souls who died without getting married. They call this tradition Pretha Kalyanam in Kannada and Kule Madime in Tulu language, roughly translating to ‘marriage of the spirits’. These weddings are prevalent in Tulunadu, comprising Dakshina Kannada and Udupi in Karnataka, and Kerala’s Kasaragod. Every year in the Tulu month of Aati, in the monsoon, alongside ancestral worship, the Tulus observe Kule Madime.But why do the Tulus have this tradition of getting deceased people married? According to Ganesh Amir Sankamar, the director of the Narayana Guru Study Centre at Mangalore University, there is a belief in the Tulu communities that when there is a death of a child in the family and when the sibling of the dead child attains marriageable age, the family encounters obstacles while looking for a suitable alliance. It is also for the mental wellness of the family- getting their dead child married is probably a way for them to cope and move on to other celebrations in the family.According to Sankamar, the wedding rituals for Kuletha Madime are not too different from usual weddings.All the customs are followed like any normal wedding. The wedding takes place in the boy’s house and the celebratory wedding procession (Dibbana) goes from the girl’s house. The wedding takes place during the night. A doll is prepared from Indian Beech Tree or banana trees. The dolls are dressed like a bride and groom and they are made to sit either on a chair or plank. Then the wedding rituals are performed. Just like any normal wedding, the karyamani is tied and then dinner is served for the guests. The rituals go to the extent that the tip of the boy’s dhoti is tied to the girl’s saree and after the formal rituals, like any newly weds, the dolls are kept in a room and the door is closed. With this the wedding rituals end. After removing the jewellery from the dolls, I have heard that they are immersed in water.But was the wedding a very sombre affair, like a funeral? Were the families grieving the loss of their children? Were they reliving the trauma? Arun says it was quite the contrary. There was no mourning or gloominess in any part of the ceremony. The families were as jovial and high-spirited as you would imagine them in any other wedding celebration. Instead of tears, there were jokes, laughter and chatter all around. Anchor: Pallavi BhartiAudio production: Anil Chauhan