Nilay’s main love language is trolling, and so he sent me this video of Sam Altman talking about note-taking, because he knew it would annoy me.

Now I recognize there is a school of thought which will say something like “Whatever it is that will get you to successfully take notes is correct.” This is true if you are some kind of loser who doesn’t care about pens and paper, in which case, vaya con dios I guess.

Let’s start with what Altman is doing right: physically writing stuff down. I love my colleague David Pierce, but he is hideously wrong about basically every productivity tool because he insists on using a computer. At this point, we have multiple studies showing that writing by hand is better for learning and memory. You want to remember something? Write, don’t type.

And now we will continue with what Altman is doing wrong: most of the rest of it. I am not the world’s biggest fan of spiral-bound notebooks, but if you are going to use them, I recommend a reporter’s notebook. Besides lying flat, a top-bound reporter’s notebook is sized such that you can easily hold it in one hand and write with the other — making it much more convenient and portable than the one Altman is holding, which looks like an A6.

The only real advantage the A6 has is that it might be easier to put in a pocket, which Altman notes as an important quality. I say “might be” because I don’t wear men’s clothes — and women’s pockets are notoriously small or nonexistent. I have spent more time than I care to think about focusing on pockets in my clothing because these fucking phones are too big. But if you can fit a full-size phone in your pocket, I’m pretty sure you can get a reporter’s notebook in there. There are some other solutions, too. Obviously, a bag. There are also Katherine Hepburn-style trousers, which are in fashion at the moment and have large, capacious pockets. The third possible solution is a shirt jacket, which frequently also feature large pockets.

What Altman is talking about here — writing stuff down, tearing it out of the notebook, crumpling it up when you’re done, and throwing it on the floor so someone else will pick it up — is disposable writing. You can fuss about paper quality when it comes to this type of writing, as he does, but if that’s less important to you, you might consider a stack of index cards held together with a rubber band or binder clip.

The things spiral notebooks have going for them is that they do truly lie flat, and they are fairly cheap. If I am not using a reporter’s notebook, I spring for thread binding, which also lies flat: Leuchtturm1917, either B5 or A5. I do not rip pages out of my notebook regularly because I am not deranged. For those of you who do feel ripping pages out is important, you might consider a notebook with micro-perforations — it’s less mess.

I am not going to fuss too much about high-quality paper because if you are the kind of person who cares about this, you already have strong feelings about Tomoe River vs. Rhodia vs. Clairefontaine. Feel free to get mad that I slighted Midori or whoever in the comments.

This is all wind-up to the thing Nilay was trying to troll me about: the pens. Altman recommends the Uni-Ball Micro 0.5, which made me hiss. The other Altman recommendation is the “Muji 0.36 or 0.37” in dark blue ink. After some exploration on the Muji site, I think what he means is the Muji Gel Ink Cap Ballpoint Pen in 0.38mm.

Perhaps he simply doesn’t write by hand as much as I do, which is one explanation. (I have spent entire days in courtrooms taking notes by hand, which I expect is not a part of his job brief.) But if you are doing a lot of hand-writing, you want something that will glide effortlessly on the page — otherwise your hand will cramp. This is a Pilot Precise v5 or v7, which is about as good as you can get without moving to a fountain pen.

I am not going to get into the fountain pens question because it, like the paper discussion, is for sickos.

As for the Muji pen: I have not used it, but I am biased against ballpoint pens generally. They are a hand cramp waiting to happen. Ballpoint pens just don’t glide as well, which means you really have to exert effort to get a ballpoint across the page, especially if it’s cheap. That’s what’s making your hand hurt. If you are a lefty and concerned about smears, use something with a quick-drying ink like the Zebra Sarasa. Love yourself. Do not use a biro.

Finally, blue ink is unserious. Use black like an adult.

I do find the video revealing. This is a man who has not carefully considered his tools and expects someone else to pick up after him. That does explain a lot about OpenAI, doesn’t it?