Crossdream Life

2025-05-30T11:24:07-04:00

Hypnosis for Sissy

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2025-05-30T11:21:08-04:00

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2025-05-30T03:41:20-04:00

I’m Lena, and I spend a lot of time reading, writing, and talking about gender variance — not from an academic podium, but from the very human experience of just trying to figure myself out. And a huge part of that journey has taken place online.
The internet is strange. On one hand, it’s been a lifeline. It's where I found words like crossdreamer, genderfluid, and transfeminine that suddenly made my whole world make sense. It’s where I watched MTF transition diaries at 2 a.m., crying in silence because for the first time, someone else was voicing things I’d never said out loud. I found forums full of people like me — dressing secretly, dreaming deeply, and carrying stories they were too afraid to speak in real life.
But it's also a battlefield. There’s so much misinformation, gatekeeping, and cruelty. I’ve read Reddit threads that broke my heart, YouTube comments that made me want to vanish, and “debates” that talk about people like me as if we’re abstract problems, not real humans. When you're nonbinary, trans, or gender-nonconforming, it sometimes feels like your existence is up for public discussion — like people think they get to vote on whether you're “real enough.”
And then there’s the algorithm game — TikTok, Twitter, YouTube — where queer voices get buried, shadowbanned, or attacked, while hate content spreads faster than kindness. It’s exhausting trying to stay visible while also staying safe.
Still, there’s beauty. So much beauty.
There are people out there telling raw, honest stories. There are creators who make you feel less alone, strangers who’ll comment “you’re valid” just when you need it most, and threads that remind you this journey isn’t just about dysphoria or transition — it’s also about becoming whole. It’s about finding yourself, not losing yourself.
So if you’re navigating this digital space as a transgender, nonbinary, or questioning person… I see you. It’s scary, it’s confusing, and sometimes it’s heartbreakingly lonely. But it can also be where you find your truth. Where you write your own story — even if it starts with just a whisper.
Stay soft. Stay curious. You deserve to be here.
— Lena

statistics: Posted by lenajhonson08 — 3:41 AM - 1 day ago — Replies 2 — Views 38

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2025-05-30T03:30:56-04:00

I’m not a psychologist or an academic. I’m just someone who’s lived in that quiet, complicated space between who the world sees… and who I feel like I might be inside.
I run a YouTube channel called Stunning Truth, where I share deeply personal and emotional stories about crossdressing — stories that feel like they could be confessions, letters never sent, or moments we carry alone for too long. The kind of stories people whisper to themselves in the mirror, wondering if anyone else out there has ever felt the same.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had dreams — vivid ones — about being someone else. Not just wearing different clothes, but being someone softer, more open, more free. A woman. Or at least, someone who could float between worlds without shame. Those dreams never left me. They shaped how I saw myself, even when I was pretending not to see it.
It took me years to realize this isn’t just about clothes. It’s about identity, expression, memory, longing… It’s about being seen.
Crossdreaming, gender variance, MTF journeys — these aren’t just academic terms to me. They’re pieces of my real, messy, beautiful self. And I believe storytelling can heal. That’s why I tell these stories. Maybe not all of them are mine. But pieces of me are in every single one.
If you’ve ever stood in front of a mirror and hesitated, or dreamed of being someone else and felt both joy and guilt at once… just know: you’re not alone. You’re never alone.
I’m Lena — and I’m still figuring it out too.

statistics: Posted by lenajhonson08 — 3:30 AM - 1 day ago — Replies 6 — Views 47

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2025-05-28T05:49:48-04:00

She ask: Why didn't I realize I was transgender earlier.

https://sonjamblack.substack.com/p/what ... om-knowing

I have written about this here earlier, writing about splitting your mind out of fear, as in both knowing and not knowing that you are playing the role of the wrong gender.

Sonja writes:

Only being taught that flawed, body-centric view of human gender means that you’re not given some core concepts to work with: All the core concepts relevant to trans experience. We’re not taught about any of the core concepts of trans experience—gender identity vs. gender expression, what dysphoria is, and all the rest—nor are we given any language to use for thinking about them.

And when you lack the relevant concepts, it’s nigh impossible to properly understand your own life and experiences.

How are you to make sense of being uncomfortable about having to use the boys’ locker room at gym class, if you’ve been told you’re a boy and gaslit into believing it? How are you to make sense of being uncomfortable about growing breasts while your peers are excited about it, if you’ve been told you’re a girl and gaslit into believing it? Shouldn’t you be excited too? You “should,” but you know you aren’t, and it just doesn’t make any sense. You lack the concepts and vocabulary for making sense of it....

When your brain is wired for “girl” but everybody expects you to align with “boy”—or vice versa—you’re bound to mess up a lot. The gendered expectations you’re supposed to follow, the myriad unwritten rules, none of it comes naturally.

statistics: Posted by jackmolay — 5:49 AM - 3 days ago — Replies 3 — Views 42

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2025-05-28T05:13:45-04:00

To download this PDF file, please click here: https://www.clivejohnsonministry.com/tmg/BeingaTransPersonsAlly.pdf
I'd also welcome any suggestions on adding/changing my first attempt at this brief guide, especially from folk who are allies of a trans person themselves.

statistics: Posted by clrob — 5:13 AM - 3 days ago — Replies 4 — Views 34

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2025-05-26T08:45:37-04:00

https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/equality/equality-act-2010/codes-practice/code-practice-services-public-functions-and-associations

statistics: Posted by clrob — 8:45 AM - 5 days ago — Replies 4 — Views 1591

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2025-05-24T06:16:46-04:00

The common theory as I understand it is rooted in a fear of strangers – folks that look different – that grew up in early hunter-gather societies, where the threat of a potential enemy spying in the camp aroused suspicion. This sounds a viable theory to me. However, I wonder if there is something else going on at a subconscious level. If, and this is a big assumption, most male bodied people predominantly embody masculine energy and most female embodied folk carry feminine energy, maybe it is the case that at least some of us gender flexers (perhaps a small minority among trans people) embody quite a strong mix of both?

If we think of the Yin/Yang symbol representing opposites in a dance – the black representing feminine energies swirling around masculine, perhaps there’s some sort of conflict that goes on at a felt, subconscious level when a more polarised energy encounters one that’s not quite so clear about whether it’s black or white? It's not quite the same idea, but maybe something similar to a basic conflict in transactional analysis goes on – if, say, an adult attempts to communicate with a parent in that model, the two don't quite know how to get along.

I realise this is quite an offbeat thought, involving a few assumptions. It's one for which I've no data to go on and no strong views about, but it struck me as something that might be interesting to ponder.

I then went on, perhaps in an even wilder offbeat chain of thought, to wonder whether some trans folk like me – and especially those of us who are on the autistic spectrum – may have struggled in engaging with others who embodied masculine and feminine polarities when we be younger, and then perhaps not develop the ability to read visual cues as effectively as others, out of a lack of understanding that might have come about were we more at ease in “the dance.” This may be an offbeat idea, and if it does have any merit, is likely just one possibility or small part of what may factor into causes of autism (I know there are a lot of theories here). However, it's not one that I've come across before, and so seemed worth offering as a possible part of the jigsaw. Having said that, even if someone did want to pick up on this to research, heaven knows how they would go about that proving the theory!

Ramblings, I know –which I’ve also sounded out in a video post that I'll post on my YouTube channel later today: https://youtu.be/HdHMirbmw-w.

statistics: Posted by clrob — 6:16 AM - 7 days ago — Replies 9 — Views 74

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2025-05-20T04:17:01-04:00

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McClellan argues that these Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 do not apply to modern Christians, as they were part of ancient Israelite law and based on outdated social hierarchies. He explains that sexuality in the ancient world was structured around dominance, where one person acted upon another in a hierarchical system. The prohibition in Leviticus was rooted in concerns about maintaining this hierarchy rather than condemning consensual relationships. The video also critiques how conservative Christians selectively apply biblical laws, keeping those that align with their views while discarding others. Ultimately, he asserts that these passages are misused as rhetorical weapons against LGBTQ+ individuals and should be understood in their historical and cultural context rather than as universal moral laws.

I made note of the fact that Liith, Adam's first wife according to legend, left Eden because she wanted to be the top during intercourse!!! You might imagine what this meant for Adam hierarchy wise.

statistics: Posted by jackmolay — 4:17 AM - 11 days ago — Replies 7 — Views 79

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2025-05-20T02:53:50-04:00

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<3 Sent by Layne

statistics: Posted by HyperLayne — 2:53 AM - 11 days ago — Replies 5 — Views 70

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2025-05-18T07:38:09-04:00

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Personally I was reminded of the story of Mary and Martha in the Christian New Testament, told in Luke 10:38-42. In the J.B.Phillips translation Martha says, "Lord, don't you mind that my sister has left me to do everything by myself? Tell her to get up and help me!", and Jesus replies, "Martha, my dear, you are worried and bothered about providing so many things. Only a few things are really needed, perhaps only one."

One may interpret the passage in different ways, but I see Martha as the woman who has been socialised to think she has to sacrifice all her time and energy for others, leading to deep feelings of resentment as the video discusses, and it strikes me that Jesus is telling Martha to free herself of the burden of giving too much and too indiscriminately.

statistics: Posted by Veronica Claire — 7:38 AM - 13 days ago — Replies 3 — Views 48

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2025-05-18T03:22:03-04:00

1. Old fashioned rock is all but gone, while metal survives in sub-cultures.
2. Hip Hop is male dominated.
3. Pop is nearly completely female dominated.

I am going to look at the pop scene here. To my great joy smart, complex and creative pop is back and it is led by female (and nonbinary) artists.

I am the kind of person who likes well crafted and composed music. I definitely understand the joy of listening to skilled musicians and organic improvs, but I do enjoy great arrangements and the kind of productions that take ages in the studio (like Pet Sounds and Abbey Road).

So here are eight great contemporary female artists who I believe have brought pop a step forward.

Caroline Polachek

Polachek, an American started out in the duo Charilift.

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Weyes Blood

Natalie Laura Mering AKA Weyes Blood, is an American singer, songwriter, and musician.

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Dorian Elektra

Gender fluid electronica by gender fluid artist.

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Eartheater

Alexandra Drewchin is another American, performing under the name Eartheater.

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SOPHIE

Sophie Xeon was a transgender British music producer, songwriter, and DJ. She died in 2021 (falling off a rooftop while attempting to take a picture of the full moon), but lives on in her music and the influence she has had on others (like Charlie XCX, Kim Petras and Madonna).

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Clairo

Claire Elizabeth Cottrill is an American singer-songwriter,

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Sigrid

Norwegian artist. I am still waiting for some new material from her.

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Griff

Sarah Faith Griffiths is a British singer/songwriter.

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Willow Smith

American artist. This is an amazing song!!!

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Jessie Ware

British LGBTQ-ally.

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Lorde

Lorde is close to saying she is nonbinary (as Hazel points out here).

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statistics: Posted by jackmolay — 3:22 AM - 13 days ago — Replies 4 — Views 120

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2025-05-16T08:59:06-04:00

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/mus ... 235339017/

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

statistics: Posted by Hazel Isaacs — 8:59 AM - 15 days ago — Replies 0 — Views 42

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2025-05-16T07:05:49-04:00

The BBC has released the first trailer for its noughties-set coming-of-age drama What It Feels Like For A Girl, inspired by the memoir of trans journalist and writer Paris Lees.

https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/05/15/ ... aris-lees/

“We’re following someone who’s going from, in the eyes of the outside world, a schoolboy, right up to a trans woman starting university, and all that’s in between,” Lees said.

That BBC program will be interesting. Not because of it's quality (or lack of) but because the BBC is inherently transphobic, and likes to present itself (and the UK) as being a bastion of progressive, pro lgbt+ support. I wonder how honest it's allowed to be. Looking at that trailer it's set 20-15 years ago, so it wouldn't surprise me if they try to go

"look how bad it used to be, it's so much better now" when it's the exact same system, staffed by the same doctors but with a much worse political climate. This could be good, but I don't want to watch a whitewashed, pro-state propaganda piece, I want people to know what it means to be a trans person in the UK!

Also how much input have trans people had on the show considering trans people are systematically ignored by the media?

statistics: Posted by Lana_101_1 — 7:05 AM - 15 days ago — Replies 1 — Views 50

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2025-05-16T04:34:29-04:00

"> . Just click on the play button to listen. This fine forum gets a mention, and in the show notes.
One important topic we discuss is activism. I must confess that even until very recently, I've taken a very back-seat approach to this, even since being open about being trans. It's the trend toward increasingly hostile trans society that's been the kick for me to take activism more seriously. One way is to "start at home"–taking more opportunities to share my trans self with folk who know me. I think that exposure to trans lives can help break down barriers of prejudice and implicit bias, and especially if someone already knows that you're not a person to be held in fear or suspicion. I've had a few positive comments from folks who know me who may not have known about my femme side since the episode was published yesterday, honouring this principle.
My own experience as only occasionally and briefly presenting my femme self in my society (the UK) is very tame compared with those who wish to present and live as they know themselves to be permanently or very regularly, whether with a gender recognition certificate or not. My identity hasn't been cancelled in the way others' has; the practicalities of the recent UK High Court ruling on the legal meaning of "sex" have little direct impact on me personally. I was reminded how profound and painful they are for many in our community when attending a trans event in my city last night, where the level of fear, sense of being erased (or that being the perceived way our politics of most colours is heading), and daily discrimination and hate crime that many face is palpable. Seeing their pain brings home just how important it is to keep looking for opportunities to present ourselves as people who aren't to be feared. The group I attended last night, Transpire Essex in Southend-on-Sea, is hosting another march through the High Street this coming weekend. Sadly, I'm away, but will be willing them well!

statistics: Posted by clrob — 4:34 AM - 15 days ago — Replies 2 — Views 44

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2025-05-15T08:49:46-04:00

Australia’s Eurovision Song Contest 2025 hopeful Go-Jo has spoken about the character behind his song “Milkshake Man” and how he’s embraced female energy in his life.

https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/05/15/ ... shake-man/

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statistics: Posted by jackmolay — 8:49 AM - 16 days ago — Replies 0 — Views 21

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2025-05-15T08:37:22-04:00

American attitudes towards trans people here.

Overall Americans respect trans people right to live as themselves (access to health care, participation in the military). At the same time a majority think "changing gender is "morally wrong". Go figure.

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2025-05-14T12:42:06-04:00

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<3 Sent by Layne

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2025-05-14T07:30:52-04:00

For anyone who might like to listen/watch, I've put together a little video post on this subject: https://youtu.be/vvvMSa3RU3Y.

statistics: Posted by clrob — 7:30 AM - 17 days ago — Replies 1 — Views 90

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2025-05-12T09:04:30-04:00

During much of my adolescence and earlier adult life growing up with a strong Christian faith, I believed that my trans nature marked me out as an abhorence not only in the eyes of the world, but before God, too.

Put simply, I was convinced that my secret life of crossdressing and crossingdreaming destined me for Hell.

Having reflected and meditated on this matter for some time now, and with my previously mainstream evangelical faith giving way to one that embraces interfaith teachings, the mystical, Wisdom and gnostic teachings, I very much no longer hold that view.

Very beautifully, I received what was for me total confirmation of this in a mystical experience just over a week ago. Trying to describe a mystical experience isn't easy – for me, this involved a lot of clarity and a real felt sense of a lot coming into focus at once. I talk a little about this in a video post I've just put up on my YouTube channel, iframe ">.

The underlying message for me was that my gender fluid nature is actually very beautiful and is absolutely an acceptable way to be within the divine plan, no less so than the equally beautiful way to be of being in a partnership and experiencing mystical union with another soul.

I've believed this for sometime now, especially since I look to the shamen and of many cultures, the gender transcending avatars and enlightened beings of different faiths, and possibly too, to the original Adam and future state in which we are to become "neither male nor female" (in the Christ body).

But enjoying a truly wonderful and mystical experience that confirmed this for me leaves me now in no doubt about who I am and how I express myself in gender terms not being a blot on God's plan.

I realise that if you are follow a mainstream faith, this may not be where you are or align with what your faith teaches. However, I hope that sharing this experience might be a comfort for any like me who are on more of a mystical journey, in which our gender and our spirituality may actually become beautifully aligned.

statistics: Posted by clrob — 9:04 AM - 19 days ago — Replies 2 — Views 45

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