Then, this morning CNN said they’d captured a June debate between the two and any qualified others to be held in Georgia — with, crucially for our national sanity, no audience. But: Do debates matter?

All of that is like half-true, starting with the idea that the world of presidential debates is “all important.” Usually, there’s a pretty healthy conversation over whether they matter at all. This time, it looks like both candidates have been using the debate schedule as a way to bait the other one — Biden always said he’d do the debates but wanted to make sure everyone remembered how crazy Trump looked last time. (Remember, Trump bombed the first debate and canceled the third in 2020.) Trump was out there saying Biden wouldn’t debate, presumably because he wanted to make Biden look too old. Anyway, yeah, there was a flurry of chest-beating this morning about who would agree to do what when, and … here we are. Everyone agreeing to debate. Surprise! Will it matter? Obviously, we’ll see, but Trump seems convinced the debates will expose Biden as too feeble. Biden, meanwhile, is the one who wanted to do this debate in June — waaaay earlier than usual in the cycle, almost certainly because he needs people to remember that this presidential race is a binary and that Trump is seriously back and might really be president again. The debate, they hope, will focus the national mind a bit.

OKAY wow, perfect day to ask me this question. Despite the fact that I have been to Cannes five times, I have famously (to me) never been on a boat at Cannes. Today that all changed because my friend Richard Lawson (who is Vanity Fair’s very good film critic) invited me to go on RH’s yacht for one hour this morning. That RH, not me RH. It was raining and we had to take off our shoes and I was wearing these cute black Vagabond boots and without them my outfit looked so crazy and my socks got so wet so I had to go buy new socks for men at G Star.

None of this would have happened to Jared Leto, who is the only person the yacht PR person mentioned by name as someone who has “been on the yacht before” and “may rent it this summer” at the normal price of $150,000 per week. The yacht sleeps 12, so if you have 11 friends who all have $12,500 to spare, this is a thing you could do. It is decorated in a lot of browns because white on yachts is tacky now (I learned this from the yacht interior designer). I ate caviar and one grape and snooped around all the bedrooms. It’s important to note that the yacht was docked and it never moved, so technically I have still not achieved my stated Cannes party goal, which is “go to a yacht party on a moving yacht.” But this did mean that I felt safe physically. Though not existentially. That is impossible at Cannes, where it’s not your imagination, everyone really is out to get you.

Are men really out there in two-inch inseam shorts in the real world??? On our streets and avenues? And what are readers and runners really asking for — is it all skin-tight tights? Am I being a prude?

I say this in the most endearing way possible: Runners are weird. Especially long-distance runners. Even more so if you ran cross-country or track in high school. The XC kids — I was one of them — were kind of like their own cult, and that weirdness was baked into us at an early age. And I think that peculiarity comes with the nature of the activity: Running is repetitive, and some outsiders view it as pointless suffering (they’re not entirely wrong). So, a long distance runner’s gear selection can become a personal, idiosyncratic process. Maybe the preference for short inseams is rooted in minimalism — a runner may like that feeling of nothing there — or maybe they simply want a full range of motion? To show off their thighs? Who knows. Two-inch inseam shorts are surprisingly common, though. (Soffe shorts were a staple of the US military.) Would it surprise you to know that there are one-inch inseam shorts? Generally, any shorts with inseams shorter than five inches are called split shorts, or splittys. If you go shopping for running shorts, you’ll likely find five-inch and seven-inch inseam options, so if you come across splittys, that means you’re probably looking for them!

His first big hit was the “Black people smoke detector beeping” video. Whatever happened to him? Did he eventually do a Bad One? Did he … mess up with Mexicans? Or did he retire with grace?

Okay, I do remember this person. I haven’t heard anything that stuck in my Bad Memory of Bad People.

The Big Sad File that is your brain.

He appears to be getting cornrows in Rome for some reason???

Uh-oh.

I’m sooooo shocked someone testing the waters of … let’s call it cross-cultural humor would eventually do something that pissed people off. But it seems like he’s going the Dimes Square route and choosing to embrace controversy 💀

Enjoy some gossip today!

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