Melania and RFK Jr.’s Plot to Take Away Trump’s McDonald’s

Photo: Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post/Getty Images

There’s been a lot going on recently. Our baby carrots and deli meats are trying to kill us. Gladiator II is making us face some hard truths about whether there were actually sharks in the Colosseum. Oh, and Donald Trump’s Cabinet picks are basically a Suicide Squad of unqualified cronies brought together to dismantle the federal government.

But supposedly, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Melania Trump have the time, will, and mental capacity to hatch a plot to Make Donald Trump Healthy Again. The New York Post’s “Page Six” reported on Thursday night:

RFK Jr. and Melania Trump are on a campaign to improve Donald Trump’s diet, sources tell Page Six.

Said a Trumpworld insider: “RFK Jr. and Melania are ‘ganging up’ on the President-elect to eat in a more heathy way. Think fewer Big Macs and less KFC, and more lean protein, salad and veggies for energy and to improve his over all well-being.”

Now, I hate to question “Page Six.” It is an absolutely iconic font of possibly true and always entertaining gossip. But I simply cannot accept this, for several reasons.

First, even “Page Six” seems to have some doubts. The very next line reads, “But another Trump insider insisted: ‘Nonsense! Trump eats whatever he wants.’”

Second, the biggest RFK Jr. story of the week — aside from questions about whether we’ll still be able to get life-saving vaccines and medications if he’s confirmed as Health secretary — is whether he was actually eating McDonald’s on Trump’s plane. On a recent podcast, Kennedy said of the “Trump Force One” dining options, “Campaign food is always bad, but the food that goes onto that airplane is, like, just poison … You have a choice between — you don’t have the choice, you’re either given KFC or Big Macs.”

Yet here he is, poised to dig into a McDonald’s burger. Does this look like a man who’s eager to school Trump on why he should be eating more lean meats and veggies or a guy settling in for four years of kowtowing to his new boss?

Third, there’s the Melania of it all. The former First Lady is so famously detached from her husband’s day-to-day affairs that she may not even move into the White House full-time. Now we’re supposed to believe that she’s watching Donald’s diet like a hawk? And, if the Post’s source is to be believed, shooing Trump’s chefs out of the kitchen?!

The first source said Melania, 54, is so on board with the plan to improve Trump’s diet, she’s even been … cooking!

“Melania has, on occasion, been cooking family dinners at Trump Tower for the president and their son, Barron,” the source claimed. “She’s also encouraging him to make healthier choices.”

Trump has always been cagey about his weight, but supposedly, he recently lost a whopping 24 pounds. Why would Melania intervene now? It appears she remained silent as her husband installed a Diet Coke button in the Oval Office and served up a McDonald’s feast at the White House:

Photo: Chris Kleponis-Pool/Getty Images

And worked a staged 20-minute shift at McDonald’s last month:

Just look at how happy Trump is in that video! The worst thing about Melania and Kennedy allegedly conspiring to take away his fast food is that it’s just plain wrong. People who love Trump should be joining forces with his haters and encouraging him to lean into his real calling in life: being a McDonald’s spokesman, not president. It’s the healthiest choice for him and for America.