IS COLORADO SPRINGS THE NATION’S 3RD DRUNKEST CITY? Relax, we rank third in criminalizing social drinkers for the sake of city revenues. The statistics used in the Men’s Health Magazine study do not measure per capita consumption of alcohol as the title might imply, but are weighed heavily with law enforcement figures, among them, the number of DUI arrests and number of M.A.D.D. programs mandated.

Denver ranked first in the nation, which could indicate the law enforcement methods are related. Both are cities spread over large expanses, with terrible public transportation systems. If there is more drinking in the Rocky Mountains than elsewhere, obviously the Front Range is the most inhospitable environment.

The regions also share the same MADD administrator, publicity hound Pam Vanoverbeke, who’s always ready to tell anyone within earshot that drinking + automobile = death. Vanoverbeke will often ignore the vehicular variable altogether. After all, and increase in drinking does mean an increase in accidents, the number of vehicles remaining fixed.

For example, arguing against relaxing enforcement of drinking on college campuses, Vanoverbeke warns: “If you make alcohol more accessible to youth more youth are going to die.”

Vanoverbeke tells her captive audiences at the court-ordered MADD events that she’s been personally impacted by five drunk driving accidents. Apparently that personal epidemic is translating into an ever alarmist image for the Front Range. And building municipal revenues. This funding method amounts to a regressive tax, because those who can afford it can opt out of the corrections treadmill with a good lawyer.