whenever you can breathe
A downloadable game for Windows, macOS, and Linux
whenever you can breathe
RPGMaker MV (2022), 30-60 minutes (3 endings)
[content warnings: this game explores mental health, self harm, suicide, the difficulties of growing up queer, parent issues, dysmorphia, and some drug use. this game is largely autobiographical. engage with it but also please take care of yourself.]
whenever you can breathe is an autobiographical short RPG about grocery shopping. It's about being stuck. It's a hanging out with your friends sim. It's about weird spatial relationships. It's about grounding. I thought I could make this game, but I really barely could.
I find that through my art practice, I narrow myself into a tunnel "looking for a solution," and through the process, remember there is never just "a solution." We hang out at the local grocery store (before, around 1AM, now, around 10PM). We look at products we don't need and won't buy. There isn't much money. Someone sends a text message. Someone else doesn't see it.
I really want to make cool looking radical political games, but I still have a lot of issues to sort through. Mood-based art practice, game dev rooted in emotions. Not everything is "right" here.
But we're working from within the margins, and that can be kind of political, too.
This game has been many games before being this one / / /
I think I'll make a roguelite next / / /
I think I'll go back to video art / / /
Instructions:
move - arrow keys
interact - z
camera - q, e
thanks to royaltyfreak music for songs
thanks cutievirus for the RPGMAKER 3D MV PLUGIN
special thanks to mariken for sprite generation help
special thanks to my friends mary, resni, taylor
who have helped a great deal< 3 < 3 < 3
and everyone else, the discord, my roommates
whenever you can breathe was in part made with
funds from the queer games bundle 2021.
please email me with bugs. I'm sure there are many ~
Download
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Comments
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Perhaps unsurprisingly, this game designed to highlight the inaccessibility of grocery stores' sensory environments is very difficult to process on an audiovisual level. It's unfortunate that the game was so inaccessible to me, as I was interested in how it would explore its themes.
Between the simulation sickness induced by its camera and the intentional sensory overload from its visuals and sound design, I barely managed to keep playing it for four minutes before I was forced to give up. The dialogue that I saw in that time was quite laggy.
Other people who are less badly affected by the design choices may find this game of interest, but I have to rate it low on the grounds of accessibility alone because it made me feel physically sick in under five minutes. 1/5 stars - avoid.
panda: "you know you can call me at any time, right? any time at all"
*you texted them at 7:53pm. "hi."
god. that one got me.
When the way you perceive space and texture finally makes peace with the glitch aesthetic it's really magical what you see in there. <3
it was a good game because it made me aware of many feelings that have been in me for a long while i had not been attentive to
it felt like a real mental health episode when nobody messaged me back when i accidentally triggered a glitch by not talking to anyone a second time. a really emotional work. <3
This was really amazing! I loved the writing and I think you managed to convey the emotions contained within in a very real way. I did get a little confused at first before realizing I could pick up the items, but other than that, I had a great time wandering about and listening. The triple dialogue boxes that were often really one were interesting, and I loved the characters that would say a variety of things as you talked to them more while you wandered around lost. The spaces in particular were excellent - you really got the feeling of it being an actual place while also feeling like a totally unreal fiction in others. The rooms in particular were exciting and interesting to reach. I hope everything's going ok, thank yuo so much for making this game! Gonna try the other endings soon! I got Stele.
yes yes yes yes yes <33