"but why is fantasia dying?"

"people have begun to lose their hopes and forget their dreams, so 'the nothing' grows stronger."

"what is 'the nothing'?"

"it's the emptiness that's left. It is like a despair, destroying this world. and I have been trying to help it."

"but why?"

"because people who have no hopes are easy to control. and whoever has the control has the power."

...

"so if I have to die anyway, I'd rather die fighting!"

(and then killing that mofo with one jab. sweet.)

okay! that was pretty deep stuff for me as a six year old I will admit. quite unsuspectingly opening me up to the existential threat of 'the nothing' as not just a force of destruction but a metaphor for despair, apathy, and the loss of imagination and dreams. not my past self talking here, but I'm quite sure I was somewhat sensing the meaning. at least I recall what a lasting impression of positive disturbance this had on me.

and yes, I definitely left a part of me in the swamps of sadness.

this to me is still a recommendation to spark a child's imagination and introduce it to darker sides of reality. these themes are essential for kids to process the complexities of life. this sort of storytelling by novelist Michael Ende and brought to cinematic life by director Wolfgang Peterson respects a young audience’s intelligence and opens up to new sensations. like the sphinx statues, haha.

this movie is also just a great depiction of what reading fantasy books feels like as a child. a few years later I read the Hobbit. and I immediately followed it up by the LOTR, taking these heavy, slightly greasy books out of the library shelf into my hands was sth mystical by itself. being drawn in and experiencing that dreadfully dark shadow hanging over everything, literally spilling out of these pages. it's a level of immersion that will never be matched. it was just me and these books and the stories they were telling.

of course I was a part of it!

the beauty is that it can be brought back to life when we make these adventures of the imagination in the first place. they are imprints thrown out like heavy anchors in time.

I could easily raise this one and remember all this so vividly. after all this time! our mind is true magic. playing tricks and being a curse sometimes of course. but the power of reliving these feelings and reshaping memories by digging up events of the past equally finding old truth and new meaning in them is heavy stuff. truly a neverending story, right.

overall this is a well crafted, heartfelt tribute for the meaning of delving into the realms of the fantastical and our imagination.

watched the 4k restoration by Universal Pictures 4.5/5

bushes of furry skin and satanic claws? it seems puberty in the 17th century british rural countryside needed special forms of symbolism to express itself. right, satan is loose and coming for the youngsters to worship him. basically spreading like a wild fire amongst them and leading to a kind of group infection of bewildered sexual arousal clashing with a heavily pietistic and patriachal society. the movie clearly reflects the sexual revolution of the 1960s and displays both a materialisation of the relentless urge to liberate no matter what as well as the conservative fear of a changing, in their minds crumbling reality.

the film contains an unsettling and controversial scene where the cultist teens rape and murder a young girl in service of Behemoth, the satanistic force that tries to come to life through this patchwork of skin spread out over the untamed pubes. it's performed as pagan ritual bringing themselves into a state of sexual ecstasy and breaking loose from all societal restrictions.

three main protagonists are established. Angel, the leader of the murderous cult that went hiding in the woods before having seduced the pastor and falsely accusing him of sexual harassment. Ralph, the least corruptible character somewhat lost between the generations but mostly trying to protect the young people from the influence of the satanic beast as well as the cultists from the village mob. and the judge as representative of law and the patriachal order. he has the last word in this. swinging his huge sword and putting an end to all the upheaval.

overall an enjoyable classic folk horror movie. very eerie and dark. with some nice gore and body horror effects. but it's the rural setting with these cottages and all the coziness it evokes that is the true protagonist as perfect background for all this.

I would have immensely preferred a subversive, dark and evil outcome. something just seems so rotten to the core in the british countryside.

watched the 4k restoration by German distributor NSM 3/5. there's supposed to be a better version available by 88 films.

"no more smoke. I beg you!"

the 4k transfer is an absolute stunner. it truly slays with its brilliant scan of the gorgeously fantastical cinematography of the original film material. everything in this is just so moody and athmospherically in perfect harmony. nothing disrupts the otherworldly quality of the immersive experience. there are tons of practical effects implemented in the set design. with all this smoke and fog and dirt and a cast of great looking character heads the world looks so well lived in. there's a warmth and a grainy tactile feel to it. it's like you immediately have a grip and step inside instead of slipping off the sterile, overly clean cgi of our days.

with the established power structure of the kingdom this also deals with real world politics. like the rigged lottery sacrificing the female virgins. shoutout to the princess, this is how you reinstall faith in the leaders. we need her. sadly she got eaten alive by dragon babys. sorry! it really shocked me. it's so grim and unpredictable. mirroring the disheartening bleakness of our modern days.

so yes, this is an extremely realistic adult sword and sorcery movie with gore and violence. the epic, dreadfully dark final battle is something that will stick in my mind. I can see why people like George R.R. Martin consider this their favorite dragon design.

overall this seems very influential and all I crave for in a 80s dark fantasy movie. next stop, Excalibur!

p s. seemingly not everything that has a disney logo on it, has disney inside it. wasn't even aware til now. this is disney, haha, roast that priest, b.

watched the 4k restoration by Paramount Pictures, amazing transfer pulling out stunning detail, great commentary included with co-writer Matthew Hobbins and Guillermo del Toro 5/5

"virgil, you take care."

yeah, from a racial perspective there were worse small town police chiefs in Mississippi in the 1960s than Chief Gillespie. and right, probably are to this day.

in Norman Jewisons In the heat of the night we witness an uncommon encounter of two men of law enforcement. what makes the connection so unique is that the typical intersection of race and class is turned upside down. the mentioned southern small town police chief bumps into an african american highly decorated homicide expert from the northeast, the big city of Pennsylvania. against all odds they more or less team up to solve a murder case. especially these counteracting set of backgrounds lead to continually shifting dynamics between the two. the power balance in their relationship materializes newly with each turn of events.

"I'll tell you a secret, virgil. nobody comes here. never."

in this moment Chief Gillespie is talking about his home. it's late at night and they're sitting there together at his place, drinking, talking about the both of them not being married. and how that happened to be. and what it did to them. but then the scene that started out so well, goes downhill quickly. the highly sensitive relationship with its many frictions shows its ugly face again.

I loved this. this is immensely compelling to watch. it's a great slice of moody, feverish southern crime drama with all the genre typical ingredients. but as I tried to put in words the unique mix makes it so special. and the performances by both leads Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger are outstanding, truly loved them both and was totally immersed in the nitty gritty of their relationship. hoping for some form of reconciliation along these conflicted lines. and yes, we get pretty close for brief moments and at the end maybe the closest we could get under these deeply troubled circumstances of racial division and elevated class tension.

I will definitely return to this. it's like a feel good classic without taking anything away from the harsh reality of the time. of our time. it shows a possible version of unifying. in ultimately respecting one another and wishing us well.

watched the 4k restoration by MGM 5/5

"Mr. Lee, are you ready?"

definitely! this is how Elon would like to kick ass in path of exile. it's the real shit. watching Bruce Lee slap his way through a bondian setting to revenge his family is a treat. amazing how physically gifted he was besides having this magnetic presence and an aura that poured out of him in heavy-hitting doses.

sure, the hollywood take on the genre and the Dr. No rip-off story with a supervillain holding a tournament in a secret island fortress to recruit new fighters is kind of ridiculous, but on the other hand it was influential in bringing together an interracial cast of fighters empowering the african american community and giving the world its first modern asian star. so stereotypes were broken, and yes new ones of course established. and others were just stupidly reaffirmed making this in parts cheesy. even problematic one could argue.

still overall the vibes feel right and the cinematography is actually great. the score does its part in giving us a good time. and yeah, it's Bruce Lee, a true master of his craft ;)

watched the 4k restoration by Warner Bros 4,5/5

"are you bad, Cal? I don't know what's good and what's bad."

despite leaving out my favorite parts of the novel this feels very well Steinbeckian to me with its delving into the moral complexity of right vs wrong and bringing ambiguity into the clear separation of good and evil.

and it even has a good dose of Cathy in it, one of my all time favorite characters. it's a really satisfying depiction of her personality by Jo van Fleet. there's such a depth to contemplating her evilness in the novel. hinting that she is not inherently evil, despite her 'defect', lacking something that other people seemingly had, a true conscience.

whenever she appears in the novel I always paid so much extra close attention to her in search for clues. of why she was the she was or if there was something else hidden inside, something that was unbroken or could be brought back to life. this mysterious shadow side of her character plays such a vital role in the novel. and yes, I think Jo van Fleet does a great job in opening us up to this realm in these few scenes despite the fact that even more things lie in the past here. I truly recognized Cathy. I loved that.

"I don't need to explain anything to anybody."

and of course James Dean gave his debut appearance here in 1955. and omg what a sprawling performance as free spirited Cal it is. there's almost an odd nature to it, an unsettling presence to him. it must have been so unconventional for the time. his brooding passionate depiction of troubled youth might even mark the birth of the modern teenager. I can easily perceive how this made him a star overnight. the movie was branded a huge success by young people and set him up for his short deeply impactful career as icon and forever classic.

"talk to me father"

the widescreen cinematography is great and gives a panoramic feel to the salinas valley while the camerawork simultaneously manages to capture an intimate portrayal of this conflicted family. the tension that lives in between these characters, especially in Cals relationship with his brother Aron and his father Adam, truly comes to life.

"and now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." (from the novel)

watched the 4k restoration by Warner Bros. great commentary included. 4,5/5

"james, I love you."

in its directness the most disturbing and saddest David Lynch movie to me. it's so stripped from the comfort of the tv show.

in this prequel to the events of twin peaks we witness the horrific imprint that childhood sexual abuse has on the psyche. Laura Palmer is trapped in an endless loop of unbearable anxiety and escapist coping in all kinds of self harming ways. substance abuse, overly sexualized, promiscuous behavior and by far the worst of course working as a prostitute. in her dissociative despair she confuses sexual abuse with love. seeking the feeling of being loved and cared for in this re-enactment of her trauma.

it's all really very painful and almost unbearable to watch. especially when this tragedy peaks and she leaves James standing there by himself on his motorcycle on this empty road in the moonlight. it's an image of condensed intimacy and possibility. but she runs away from it all into the woods. she is drawn to the black lodge. it's where she seeks to find salvation. and sadly she does, in the most horrifyingly brutal way.

Lynch takes our hand and helps us to deal with all this with a soothing last scene. showing Laura in the white lodge realizing that she is finally released from her misery. and that she is not alone in this moment, that she is protected by the angel and comforted by Cooper. she is safe now. and for the first time we see her smile out of the depth of her heart freeing her pain.

it's heartbreaking.

watched the 4k restoration by Plaion Pictures 5/5i

"it's strange to be calling myself. maybe it's not me."

the perfect representation of a dream within a nightmarish reality of her own. that part really breaks me.

sad to hear the news today. rest in peace David Lynch. infinitely admire his work, glad he left us so much behind.

rewatched the 4k restoration by Studiocanal supervised by David Lynch himself 5/5

.

"oh, the things I have to do!"

it's hard to be a saint in the city. much more so in the slums of post war Rome. Pier Paolo Pasolini's Accattone is a grim ballad of a pimp and his class struggles trying to survive in this deeply deprived place. most overtly of course on a very basic level trying to stay afloat, leading a hand-to-mouth existence. but as we follow Franco Citti's character we understand that he is not only endangered of hunger, gang violence and law enforcement, but something even more existential is on the line. his integrity as a human being and conscious person. we see him suffering of being morally compromised amidst the disrupting circumstances of his marginalized existence.

Pasolini gives us in Accattone, meaning scrounger, and proudly so yes, a contradictory compelling character equipped with an erratic will to do whatever to survive, but also with a strong urge for morality and an awareness of his deeds. his dreams as last resort are not yet corrupted holding the idea of a different, better life alive.

we're constantly struggling with ourselves to decide whether he's just another lowlife or maybe even a saint like figure. in the course of Accattone's tour de force we come to understand that he's both. and neither at the same time.

Accattone is a true drifter roaming these mean streets. he's a figure in the tradition of neorealism showcasing what poverty can do with people. and yes, it's truly dark on this edge of town. we quickly come to terms that his actions are by no means the worst things happening in this neglected place. in this gritty, unforgiving depiction Pasolini pushed the boundaries of the genre, stripping it from the heavy surrealism of his predecessors.

"what a life. always fighting for everything."

we feel that Pasolini is at Accattone's side. the director was considered an atheist and marxist. so clearly he sympathizes with the class struggles of our protagonist as one of the many left out of the economic boom of post war Italy. the central theme is the powerlessness that these many, the unprivileged and socioeconomically marginalized masses, were confronted with. and the corrupting impact of this societal betrayal of being left behind and forgotten on one's own morale integrity. more and more we sense that Accattone's will to change is undermined by these greater circumstances of a deep cutting social malaise. at one point he takes on a day job in a metal factory. it's brutally demanding and he can barely pull through with it. we easily realize that this level of exploitation is in no way sustainable. so consequentially he slips back into the underworld.

"ah, now I'm fine!"

Pasolini shows us how trying to be humane in an inhumane society on the wrong side of these structural imbalances is doomed to fail. loaded with all kinds of religious references and further underlined by the profound emotional depth of Bach's music we sense that this is an almost christ like burden our protagonist is equipped with. and we come to terms that in a dehumanized world like this there's only one liberating option of unburdening.

watched the 4k restoration on Mubi

a very british cup of tea. not fully mine though. too much romcom in this zomcom for my taste. despite the very clever writing and being brilliantly dark and funny at times it's at heart oddly conventional. this is supposed to bother me emotionally? team zombie here, bored to death.

watched the 4k scan by Universal 4/5

ridiculously overjoyous, vain Technicolor Robin Hood putting a stupid smile in my face from start to finish. it's love at first feast.

watched the german blu ray by Pidax Film Media 4,5/5

grim and brutal spaghetti western beautifully shot in bleak snowy landscape with a bunch of outstanding anti-heroes. yeah, cut-throats does them justice I suppose. and no, that's right, no heroes here. great soundtrack to round it all off.

really can't go wrong with this one. Tarantino approved I'm reading, slightly condensed numbers wise as influence for The Hateful Eight.

watched the limited german blu ray by mediacs, FSK 18, "Todesmarsch der Bestien", fitting, yeah 4/5

former pilot Howard Hawks is taking it to the sky here. the flying scenes really bring us so close to experiencing the beauty and danger of this era of postal service flying in some remote part of the Andes mountains. these sequences blew me away. like how did they capture this?! the way they flew just meters apart from the mountain sides. landing on way too short and bumpy runways on the top of some mountain trying to cut the corner before falling off the cliff. and oh boy, trying to somehow land a burning plane at night with no wind shield and a motor burning in your face. had me grabbing for a handle there. what a bunch of daredevilish pioneers. so yes, this is really well crafted cinematography. I mean we're talking 1939!

besides the action adventure side of things it's really a masterful multi layered chamber play drama with a similar feel like Rio Bravo. it's the same thing, over the time of the movie you begin to hang out with these guys. the space between their fleshed out characters feels so lived-in, vibrating with relatedness and yes, cozy intimacy. the unique exotic 'end of the world' setting and these men drawn towards each other bonding in this warm and fuzzy way seems to be so much at the heart of the Howard Hawks experience. of course there's also romance spilling in from the past and newly emerging in the present. mainly being held in check and being talked about with lots of wit and subtle humor. and finally there are even some surprisingly funny slapstick moments.

so mostly all this comes together fine.

because there's a concept of morality holding everything together. once again Hawks tests the big american ethos between its grassroots democracy and vicious capitalism in one of the most demanding places for it. of course Cary Grants character Geoff Carter is the central figure for discussing this. he's the manager of the company trying to secure the funding by delivering twice a week for the coming sixth months.

"I would never ask anyone to do anything for me."

him owning the double sided heads coin is a great metaphor for his privileged position. it helps him let other people do all kinds of stuff for him, mostly of course dangerous flights under really awful conditions, without having him be the bad corporate guy. that's so vital for this sociotope. he always wins and these guys are gamblers at heart. and with the coin being tossed marked and everyone knowing about it, the buddy feel in this otherwise deeply hierarchical, exploitative system can be maintained. they are all aware. this business will keep on running no matter what the outcome. it's next man up at all cost. these men want to gather around Carter, like a platoon around their general on the outskirts of a war that has lost its meaning to them. it showcases how vital comraderie was in this environment with everyones life always on the line. and how sensitive the code of companionship and the idea of the inner circle was to keep the spirits intact. besides the bar of course.

Geoff Carter's introduction is clunky to say the least, his character so stereotypical as a flying cowboy in black leather bomber jacket and his loosely tied ammunition belt. almost comical. paired with his wiping his mouth mentality, deliberately carrying on after losing one of his pilots. definitely comical.

"I know, I know, you wouldn't ask any woman to do anything for you"

at the end we have a lot of insights and fine nuances woven into his rather likable character with the adrenaline junkie and maverick never not being the starting point for all the conflictedness and development going on under the hood. two women who can't quit pilots play an important role in this. Jean Arthur's Bonnie Lee being the central figure here, coming from the outside. after initially being offended by Carters handling of the brutal loss of the pilot she witnesses, she immediately falls for him. in the following trying to cope with his free spirited, loner character. going through all kinds of phases of self negletance, catapulting from one extreme to the next, claiming she would let him be free while in the next moment pointing a gun at him, yeah right, but ultimately finding something close enought to acceptance and peace. still somehow this fell a bit flat for me. the gender material felt outdated in its depiction. with that being said the dynamic presented is alive and well. sure.

still, the bromance stuff here just hits harder for me. McPhearsons redemption story, Kids love for Carter. it's how you truly survive out there. great stuff.

watched the HD by The Criterion Collection 5/5

"I love death. I hate living."

the true monster has always been a world incapable of integrating otherness. the sadness of the monster resonates with these shameful parts that we have learned to hide in order to fit in. the angry mob already came for us. in a society that produces all these emotionally crippled mad men obsessively questing to rise to fame and power.

"leave! I can work better alone."

right. the sorrow this existential rumination on our hypocritical, failing togetherness evokes in modern viewers is only growing stronger. the monster is more humane than the world it was created by. it is not allowed to have a friend and live in peace. seeing the monster ultimately slip from joyously peaking anticipation to deep despair when his last hope dies to overcome his solitude immediately taking action to end it all is truly soul torching. strongly emphasized by the aliveness that Karloff and Elsa invoke in us in this one short moment as iconic, timeless couple.

this truly deserves all the praise it gets. deeply touching from finish to start. the scene design and imagery has such a fantastically gothic and haptic feel to it. there's a terrible beauty in each and every one of these shots.

the definition of classic horror.

watched the 4k restoration by Universal Pictures 5/5

jaw droppingly dark and bleak 1943 film noir. didn't dare to imagine that suicidal tendencies were a thing of discourse back then. beautifully shot with athmospherically suspenseful black and white imagery.

the symbolism of that era of cinema really is astonishing. both female leads, the sisters Mary and Jacqueline played by Kim Hunter and Jean Brooks, are absolutely great, especially the latter with her eerie presence and the queer subtext of her character seems decades ahead of her time.

this is clearly a direct predecessor to Psycho as well as Rosemary's Baby. not bad of an influencer, ey!

watched the 4k restoration by the Criterion Collection 5/5

so what about that "ugly scene" in that night in the tower? the chalky white staircase leading up to it is drenched in the blackest of shadows. hinting at the dark secret that is being kept from us there. it's a hauntingly beautiful image.

Jacques Tourneur was a master of contrast-heavy black and white imagery, creating athmospheric worlds of eerie horror. in these shadowy worlds he implements complex stories full of ambiguous characters riddled in conflictedness. these deeply symbolic otherworldly realms open up endless space for interpretation. it's all about what lies beneath the visible and in the shadows.

I walked with a zombie can be seen as a subtle depiction of the dark and grueling shadows of colonial guilt. Tourneur explores this central psychological theme mainly directly through the occupiers themselves. it's in this sense fully western centric. the world of the native population serves as a background, a place full of witchcrafty voodoo rituals and exotic otherness, a sparkling mirage infused with their own stereotypical view and projections. they feel threatened by its mysteriousness, as they have become strangers to themselves, deeply haunted, incapable of dealing with the consequences of their oppressive actions.

Jessica, our zombie, the wife of plantowner Paul is in an entranced state. she never talks, nor does she express any feeling at all. a living dead. she's a frightening, troubling sight. in her lucid ghostliness she mirrors the structural dehumanization that colonialism brings, not only to the indigenous community, but also to the people that enforce it. they are paralyzed by the cruelty they enact.

we learn that Jessica had an affair with Paul's half brother Wes, an anti figure with a whole different set of coping mechanisms. heavy drinking being one of them. he's much more likeable. it's Paul, the estate owner, who is the representative of the colonial, patriachal order that was established by his forefathers.

Betsy our main protagonist is from the outside. she's a nurse taking on the job to take care of Jessica. on her passage she stands on deck and gazes at the stars. she is touched by the beauty of the night sky. Paul comes out of the dark and stands tall behind her. easily he reads her mind. it's not beautiful he insists in harsh tone. the world is not what it seems. it is in fact a cruel place.

interestingly Betsy is not repelled by his character, quite the contrary, she's heavily attracted. she senses some form of truth in him, an honesty as her voice over reflects. she seems to be aware of her naive depiction of the caribbean world and its cultural heritage. Paul knows much more truth about this world. so she is immediately drawn to him. she senses kindness in him, overlooking the misogyny deeply enscribed in this system and visible in Jessica. he himself hints at his own responsibility for the mental state of his wife. he seems to be aware of the inhumaneness he brings. but he's firmly rooted in this order. he sees no possibility of stepping out. so he must reject what he brings to life in himself and Betsy. profound lasting beauty has been destroyed a long time ago.

so much more unfolds on these scorched grounds of exploitation. the tension arouses out of the deep black pool of unmet colonial guilt and increasingly materializes in a clash of rationality and superstition along the lines of the two seemingly divided worlds. it's the shadows that give us the negative space to begin to uncover and understand the deep inner entanglement of the morally compromised oppressors with the otherness of the indigenous world.

watched the 4k restoration by the Criterion Collection 5/5

living a shameful existence, but actually this is a somewhat decent sequel. with most of the ingredients that made the first one so iconic. mostly I enjoyed my time with familiar highly tensed up, seemingly paranoid chief Brody. standing up there in the tower again, making everyone feel really uncomfortable. teaming up with nerdy scientists talking bites and stuff trying to solve missing diver mysteries late at night in the chiefs bureau. and being confronted with greedy politicians of course and finally his hydrophobia, all alive and well. as usual island festivities are taking place and social life is literally peaking. this time around surrounding your average group of sexually aroused teens with your typical popular kids and goof balls and all. of course Brody's boys, who were grounded, steal themselves away to get their fair share of the action. that's what puberty is all about, right.

the best thing about this though is the beautiful Amity Island scenery brought to life by the light and cheerful score.

and the kills were fun. great camera work there, a lot of changes in perspective, with nice underwater shots. the water-skiing scene is if course iconic and the teens in peril in the middle of the ocean with all the ups and downs of their emotions has its moments. the failed helicopter rescue was as downer definitely a highlight.

still would have liked this a lot more bloody. kind of lame having this beast circling around these upside down boats forever, while they constantly try not to slip into the water. final beast kill was fun. though it did rule out a final scare with a resurrected monster. a downer tbh.

so yes, it dragged a bit in the mid part and the pacing in the final was choppy and the resolution kind of exhausting in its complicatedness.

still a fairly entertaining shark flick with a classic feel and lots of nice suspense to sum it up.

watched the 4k scan by Paramount 4.5/5

a movie about female sex workers from the women's perspective. making these women visible as actual persons behind the culturally dominating male gaze with its split images of sexual objectification and idealized romanticization. who would have thought!

of course it needed a female director for such a groundbreaking humanizing work. Lizzie Borden did a wonderful job in 1986 stripping this business down to bare reality. we see these women struggling like everyday people. it's an honest, unglamorized depiction of this work place environment. we see them dealing with all the little things, going after the many rituals that are installed to structure their specific work. constantly it's framed in the bigger picture of things, they are making a living out of it, trying to stay afloat. and they hate it, just like the majority of people hate their job. so it feels like any other job set in the exploitative environment of our times. still, let's not pretend it's just some random work space. that's clearly not the message here as we see the story unfold.

all this takes place on the center stage, the waiting room. it's a very casual space like a living room, envoking privacy. in an almost sitcom style we see these women sit there, waiting together for their next appointment. and we see customers coming and going, taking a drink, waiting, talking, relating. constantly there's a phone ringing in the background. clearly there's a never ending demand for this service.

in this setting we get many richly detailed dialogues and insights circling around the realities of this job. of course this also involves talking men. mostly the subtext of these conversations is trying to figure out how to deal with the different types of customers. and these women are experts in this, they have to be. they can easily read and satisfy the mostly very basic needs of these men. and mostly they succeed in maintaining control over the situation.

former prostitute and brothel chef Lucy sums it up in saying, her business is all about making their male customers feel special. and we witness how right she is, by their words and actions it gets clear they want to be the center of attention.

but during this one day of sex work upstairs we slowly understand that there's something more complex going on underneath the hood of the at first very non erotic, practical seeming sex taking place. the customers are obsessed with making these women their own, always trying to push the boundaries that are installed through the many rules and rituals. it really icks them out in their self image. we increasingly understand how infused they are with the idea of male superiority. making women financially dependent is at the heart of the patriachal arrangement in the capitalistic setting. men want women's full submissiveness. this setting makes them feel equally powerful, but also very insecure. ultimately these women are independent. this messes with them.

all this is framed as Mollies last day at work taking more than one wrong turn showcasing the extreme vulnerabilities of this workspace. no matter how much inner distance you bring to the occasion. Molly is a college graduate trying to bankroll her own business as photographer. Molly is great. she has a very professional attitude towards her work and she's equally in charge and nice, but over the duration of this day we see her slowly crumbling.

we witness what's so demanding about this special kind of work. it's just all so exhausting, her female boss making her work overtime, all these men constantly tearing at her, intruding, building her into their own sadomasochistic minds. those last two customers are just too much. the sex work gets much more intense than it should be. it feels different, all the underlying images and fantasies spill into the action. these men want to dominate her and possess her. we see her subtly dissociate.

her principle of just selling her body, not her mind is clearly endangered. it's time to cut ties. she quits. in the lost shot we see her at peace lying next to her female partner, the shot freezes and lingers on in our mind.

sadly this doesn't represent reality, but Lizzie Borden gives us a very relevant figure of female empowerment.

watched on Mubi

siamese twins forever. they're a unit. an eternal split-off love affair. like De Palma and Hitchcock. separation is a cruel and bloody thing. try not to interfere bro.

loved the stylized killing scenes, awesomely elevated by the score. would have gone for more Dominique.

watched on Mubi

"I don't know what to do with all this. I've just never been unhappy."

haha, that more or less sums it up. no troubles for Oliver in a deeply patriarchal society. but no, he’s definitely not the worst male character here. he’s just a rather simple guy due to his culturally unquestioned hegemoniac status. he's very handsome, and in this we understand how deeply he is rooted in this world.

but he does sense that there's something else lingering inside. he briefly taps into the lustful anxiety of the unknown in a world of shadows.

“It’s a different feeling, I’m drawn to her, there’s a warmth from her, that pulls at me. I have to watch her when she’s in the room, I have to touch her when she’s near, but I don’t really know her. in many ways we're strangers.”

he's at the verge of uncovering his desire for otherness.

but he shakes it off “I don’t even know what love is.” cold and calculating Alice tries to implement her plan of ensuring her social status through him. she doesn’t seem to be offended at all by what he says. she seems fully immersed in her idea of herself in this potential arrangement and price to be claimed. showing how devoted she is to him she sheds tears. oh, she could never see him unhappy. and yes, she does have a very clear vision for the both of them.

“I know what love is. (…) just the two of us (..) we’ll never be strangers.”

making a woman the main character of a psychological horror movie in 1942 was very avantgarde for the times. the male gaze of mainly inactive sexualized female figures was still in full force. here on the other hand we have a deeply conflicted woman as the protagonist. all the more so, she's a dreaded monster directly pointing at men's fear of female empowerment and liberation. fear of a more freely roaming female desire that is not locked up behind patriachal bars of fully devoting to ones husband with all the socioeconomic castration and financial dependence that brought along.

this movie is about the female perspective, about living as a woman in such a male dominated world. Irena is a tragic transitional figure to the dangerous femme fatale of film noir. women who broke ties with traditional roles, breaking all hell loose in actively seducing and socially ruining men.

"I like the dark, it's friendly "

but Irena fails in integrating this blackness. the panther stands for her fear of intimacy. in a very reasonable, real way. fully dedicating herself to Oliver and giving in to the role attached would mean to reject herself. so the panther symbolizes her will to protect her identity. desperately she tries to stay in touch with her childhood, almost maniacally talking about her far away home and origin. she defies the framework of social norms, so ultimately she can't fit in.

Jacques Tourneur manages to make this a touching depiction of female otherness, of being trapped inside as outsider. watching this made me deeply empathetic to her struggles and experience of alienation. hoping she would find someone who could deal with her full self, by stepping away from the security and privilege of traditional societal roles. a companion, someone at her side, someone who had the courage to jump into the shadow realms of a less normative relationship.

the mysterious femme fatale who calls her "sister" hinted at the possibility of a different, more queer world. but Irena was entangled with this idea of her being a part of civil society, obsessed with being understood and finding respect by conformists. she threatened social norms, but never cut ties with normality herself. her ambiguity stayed unresolved.

that being said, her otherness was just too much, as woman, and as immigrant. what's america without the anxieties circling around dangerous invading immigrants. so she embodies broader social superstitions. she couldn't fit the norms in the first place as a single woman from serbia in the early 1940s.

so finally to the worst male character aka the creepy "best psychiatrist in town". to him all this is a game, a contest of will. he's deeply rooted in patriarchal competitiveness and male dominance. he’s so full of himself without true empathy and any respect for feminity. to him it's about fixing Irena as in making her fit in. ”those are things a wife doesn't tell her husband”. Irena is nothing more than his prey.

so yeah, really glad he brought the be(a)st out of her.

watched on Mubi

"look at you. is this really who you are?"

absolutely! a tight, trippy ride of gorgeously gooey gore.. pre cgi practical effects on this level of body horror is just amazing. my first ever encounter with a pineal gland growing out of a forehead. after all that stimulating finally allowed to actually play along.

the new 4k scan is great. those hazy pinks just pop so hard. amazing. a perfect late night watch to open your third eye and enhance your dreams.

watched the 4k restoration by 88 Films 5/5

a movie about some regular deeply messed up people and their lives behind mostly closed doors. at its heart this is about trying to establish humanness in these darkest of places. and we're talking pedophilia, murder, obscure sex calls, etc.

so of course this goes hand in hand with us dealing with all kinds of disturbing discomfort. but we feel empathy for these characters. by forefronting their human condition of existential loneliness and their struggles to overcome this terrifying state they become relatable. in dark comedic tone we see them trying to connect, with all their limitations and against all odds under the light of their inabilities. we follow them in their search for some form of dignity right in the epicenter of their cratering shame. the humanization of these characters stripped down to their most ugliest selves is an emotional tour de force full of social taboos and awkwardness.

Todd Solondz doesn't back off in giving false relief, he just stays right at their side. it's a carthartic power trip. a sympathetic portrayal of the insanely screwed up people they are.

and he gives us plenty of social commentary along with it. putting it in the grand scheme of things. of course the profounder evil lies elsewhere. we witness the moral superiority of the ones incorporating the self righteous inhumane stance of the dominant conservative culture. our protagonists are like shadow figures or more modernly put split off parts of these harshly enforced emotionally crippling social norms. they reflect the many ugly faces of repression in a guilt driven, hyper moralistic culture, in which all otherness is sacrificed on the altar of the traditional, seemingly well intact family.

at the dining table we see how rigidly these roles are cemented in the nuclear family, this core reproduction cell of social status in modern life. neatly sealed up by all kinds of reaffirming glue, especially the firmness of unquestioned puritan righteousness. and especially through shaming and guilt tripping. yes, the representatives of this system are the true monsters in their ignorance and self neglectance.

"I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you."

"but I'm not laughing."

finally fakeness and disconnect are called out lifting the facade. we sense the possibility of empowerment and a truer self.

the last scene hints at resolution. "I came." we see him smiling, full heartedly. it's by far the closest anyone here has come to experiencing happiness.

really an outstanding cast here. especially the great and much missed Philip Seymour Hoffman. he was so good in playing these dark and challenging characters.

watched the 4k restoration by the Criterion Collection 4,5/5

can't believe I didn't see that coming back when I first saw this. it's so blatantly obvious half way through. must have been a blind spot of the times. cinema of the 90s was so obsessed with the sense of something not being as it seemed. all these mystery thriller movies, ugh. certainly outdated today. we're now well aware that something is wrong, as in everything. so just give it to us straight, please.

even completely untwisted this is still worth a watch and brings some fine emotional release in those final scenes. it's easy to be mesmerized by the performances of the great leading cast here. so yes, overall somewhat cheesy but in a good moving way. who doesn't love a little bit of well crafted kitsch every once in a while.

watched the 4k scan by Spyglass 3,5/5

watching this is like diving into the realms of a photo album out of a long lost, far away past. with a feel to it as if your actually turning the pages, one by one. so meaningfully one scene builds into the next. this is of course a work as influential as it gets. a silent film teaching the afterworld everything it needs to know about visual storytelling. it's all here. expressionist images that are like still lifes capturing the essence of the story that is being told, burning their way deep into one's mind.

the emotional farewell scene, the episode of our naive, overly optimistic hero arriving in the beautiful carpathian landscape. the gentle eyed, frightened hyena retracing into the woods. the geniusely terrifying carriage to castle sequence. all this increasingly foreshadowing the downfall of a world soaked in dark romanticizm with heavy undercurrents of the doom to come. and the dread constantly builds, more and more inhabiting these images, rats, coffins, decay and sickness wherever we look. all this long before Count Orlok a la Dracula finally invades the city. it's such a good tight tension build up to the fully materializing dread of the last act.

Murnau truly managed to bring an athmospherically nightmarish world to life. my 1922 self is deeply disturbed and bat shit scared. today I'm mostly amazed about to what great extend german expressionism was able to dip into the cultural sobconscious. showcasing a world fallen to pieces, with everyone slipping from the unbearable reality of national trauma full of loss and unmet guilt into the regression of a dreamlike dark gothic world mirroring this malaise. trying to somehow uncover reason and collective meaning in these realms of dire, grotesque symbolism. equally revealing that something was brewing deep behind the surface of german society, giving an early prophecy of the horrific catastrophic turn of events looming ahead.

this is truly sensational. the birth of modern horror. deeply unsettling and moving if you let it fully evolve and immerse you. early cinematic perfection.

it's crazy how on rewatch all these scenes came back to me, so vividly, as If I had only just seen them. or even more if I was just seeing them now, right back then. it all came back to me the moment I rewatched it, scene after scene opening up to me, lying there in front of me. as if it had been all neatly packed up and waiting there for me all along. so it ran deep then, and runs deep now. maybe because nothing of this has changed. not a bit, it's just so profound.

could it be that I didn't think about it anymore, because I didn't dare to remember?

memories in relation to the past and present are a weirdly complex thing. and this is a movie about these two spheres and the possibilities to span a bridge between the two. by remembering. in all kind of forms and ways. by reconnecting and filling in the gaps. alone. and together. and that's mostly a painful thing. and sometimes that's just not enough and the gap stays.

Travis is a monolith of a character in regards to his humanness. dealing the way he does with all these themes of loss and remembrance is a gift. the way he copes, just sitting there in the beginning in silence, resonated so deeply with me. it just feels so sincere and truthful to what has happened, even if we don't know anything about that yet. but we trust his notions right from the start and have so much faith in him. following along.

he's so remarkably respectful in giving time and space to Hunter in order to reconnect to him from his own self. "it's not easy for him". while watching the old super 8 films together giving him a look every once in a while, just a look, without trying to get a hold of him or draw him into his own world, just a look. to see what he's doing. and then returning to his own personal realm of remembering.

let's not even talk about the second part. all the booth scenes, it almost feels too intimate. a brilliantly devastating depiction of separation, of an over burdened past in the present that ultimately can't be overcome.

watched the 4k restoration by Curzon, stunning transfer, absolute 5/5 as in 10/10

on rewatch this is still an outstanding work of psychological folk horror. deeply unsettling in its imagery and its constant anxiety inducing tension building. it's at heart a depiction of family claustrophobia a la the shining set in an unnerving isolationist environment.

they are truly alone out there in the wilderness. having been exiled from their plantation in bad blood, having only themselves now to hold onto. possessed with unimaginable fear of this hostile world lying in front of them, unknowingly carrying the seeds for their downfall along with them.

the real enemy isn't out there in the woods. it's right here, amongst them, lurking inside and echoing through the deaf space of these damp walls of their new found home. everything is soaked in dreadful speechlessness of an increasingly corrupted togetherness. trapped in their overly rigid family roles and equally firm puritan faith our protagonists are burdened with unresolved guilt and shame. all this weight must be projected, deep into this dark world, with great force, making it a dreadful persecuting place.

the most unsettling reality of all creeps in. female puberty. evoking disruptive fears and taboo fantasies in this highly incestuous environment. the paranoia potential of this is solely contained by the strict obedience to religious zeal with its dynamic of self loathing and penance. we see all this slowly and with unstoppable force crumble to pieces as fate strikes and doubts mount to an unbearable degree. uncontrollably spilling over in all kinds of superstitions, hallucinatoy visions and psychotic episodes.

it's the perfect birthing ground for the witch, the archetypal female shadow figure to all this repulsion and repression. not by coincidence the newly menstruating daughter is the chosen one. she's not willing to settle into the unplayfully submissive world of her mother. still her desire has no place to roam. she tries to stay intact, speaking out, directly confronting her parents. but they have no capacity for it, she only meets thick walls of self righteous defense and counterattack. in a last desperate attempt to cut through it all implodes.

bloodshed is the only true release this world knows. and going into the twilight of the woods the only possibility to be free.

we've managed to strip ourselves from this corset opening up space in more flexible social norms regarding sexuality and our roles. so we don't need the witch as devilish scape goat like figure. though she still exists in our collective consciousness and her symbolism is powerful to this day.

so of course there's clearly a lot of work left to be done. the myth of the perfect mother as naturalistic state of femininity is still alive and well. and there are reactionary forces at work all over the place trying more than ever to reinstall the submissively devoted mother figure. the patriarchal power structure of highly unregulated capitalistic as well as authoritian societies depend on it. so it's no wonder these roles are still deeply internalized. making this movie all the more terrifying and relevant. this horror comes really close.

"I saw your sluttish looks" the mother bursts out in rage. right before this we see her sitting tied to a chair in an empty room with a huge black crow pecking at her bloody nipples. she's in a state of lustful masochistic ecstasy. a deeply disturbing image cutting through to the self devouring nature of her role as dedicated wife, mother and homemaker.

just recently I watched the documentary Witches exploring the dark side of motherhood in our world today. in this a mother gives insights to her own personal distressing experiences mirroring societal fears surrounding the subversion of traditional female gender roles. highly witch approved images still lurking right there in the shadows.

watched the 4k scan by Second Sight Film 4/5

"my boys, we're at the end of an age. we live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shoveled up by Labour, and here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world."

uncle Monty perfectly encapsulates the aristocratic backdrop of the setting here with its worn down grandeur suffused with a dark, stinging melancholy. everything here has the thickest imaginable patina to it reflecting a long gone by sunken golden age and an incapability to cope and comply with the actual present. Monty is filled to the brim with unbearable loss literally drowning in the endless vastness of his couch. trying to somehow cut through the smudginess of his character to spark a connection and have a piece of the actual pie. ultimately failing though, sinking back into his misery. "my memories must have gotten the best of me."

this central metaphor of already broken or just now shattering dreams visualized through shabbiness is used throughout the movie. our two artist friends desperately looking for a job drive around in a Rolls Royce, the most luxurious car brand on earth. but this one is in the most battered state imaginable.

being on the brink of adulthood Withnail and the narrator of the story 'I' are tying to find their own little magic kingdom, traveling the ruins of a country filled with artefacts of its former wealth. finding only decay in the arousing socioeconomic depression present everywhere they go.

Bruce Robinson's Withnail & I truly deserves its status as a cult classic. the grandiose self image of Withnail with all the hopes and expectations and actual overlooked talent enscribed in it have never clashed more ecstatically and heartbreakingly with reality than here.

yes, this definitely runs deeper than your average feel-good slacker movie. it starts out as hard hitting enjoyable fanfare of quotable witty dialogues and scenic comedy. once they hit the countryside the tone shifts touching on mature themes of friendship and failure on the background of rising socioeconomic depression making it a period piece of British society of the 60s.

Richard E. Grant gives an absolute memorable performance as Withnail. I have never seen anything like his impersonation of this character type. fully bringing the failed artist persona to life with its narcotized despair and grande gestures while slowly weaving in the underlying anxiety and horror of an actual person failing to find a place in life. dramatically culminating in the devastating come to reality moment in the last scene.

it was old and wise Monty foreshadowing this outcome. of coming to terms that your dreams will never come true, and much more brutal, being left behind alone with this.

watched the 4k scan by The Criterion Collection beautiful colors and grain, especially in the rainy countryside scenes. "you'll suffer, Im gonna be a star" amazing 5/5

damn, all kinds of brainwashing and ideological infiltrations from the inside and outside in this satire about the disturbing double bottom realities of politics. deeply infused with cold war paranoia and the McCarthyism narrative of the enemy within.

republican senator Jospeh McCarthy was not joking when he went on his hunt for 'commies' in the late 1950s. blacklisting and ruining the life of thousands of innocent people along the way. public opinion finally turned against him when he went for the army. hold the line patriots, haha. even if his power diminished almost instantly, he's still somewhat considered the father of modern day conspiracy theories. turning complex socio- and geopolitical realities into simple them against us narratives dipping into primordial fears and anxieties and instrumentalizing these for ones own political agenda and rise in power. sure does sound familiar.

Frankenheimer clearly succeeds in messing with us here. it's often very confusing, thereby underlining the postmodern fear of lack of control. at the beginning I didnt really understand what was going at all. there's something phony about all this. agreed!

the director's satirical take of McCarthian hysteria in an era of rising global complexity with political turmoil on all sides of the equation softens the lines between good versus bad to the extremes. obliterating our sense of self image and world order. so McCarthy was not who we thought he was, still he was right after all? about the red scare? mind boggling to say the least. it's a wildly exaggerated materialisation of the agitated zeitgeist of the times, of the unsettling feeling that there is a secret nature in all this.

who is this mysterious "they" one of the victims asks our korean war veteran mind controlled assassin played by great Laurence Harvey. ironically he's the most conscious and morally integral character, "the kindest, most bravest, warmest and wonderful human being you can imagine". so it's our best man being corrupted, undermining our faith in our own decency along with it.

the social commentary is very much relevant to this day. more than ever obscurely distorted depictions of realities are used as partisan weapon. just like attacking unpopular minorities in the name of patriotism and a seemingly threatened national security. the wish for clear responsibilities in a highly complex world increasingly marginalizing people on the lower end of society is as big as ever. maybe the hidden force is just plain and simple corporate greed in an unregulated capitalism. no wonder communists are the biggest enemy here. you have to be in political power to deregulate correctives for maximizing profits. politics as displayed here are nothing more than the extended arm in installing this environment. that does ring a bell in me. the less socioeconomical power the masses have the more they crave being a part of something bigger, gravitating towards a powerful authoritarian leader. the inversion of the american dream. or perversion, idk.

Frankenheimer hints at the destructive force brought to society by right wing demagogues and their hidden agenda. their calculated division in exploiting the fear of a foreign threat, even placing this anxiety in our very middle, is doing the exact opposite of their claims. instead of empowering they're weakening the country from within, provoking politically motivated violence in form of riots and as shown here assassinations. and with all this turmoil ultimately strengthening their path to authoritarian power.

a deeper analysis of the female villain played by murder, she wrote star Angela Lansbury, the true queen of diamonds here, would be insightful. maybe she is supposed to disrupt our feeling of security even more, going for the wife and loving mother, dismantling this vital image at the heart of patriachy. she seems truly evil. a corresponding shadow figure within in this patriarchal setting, manipulating and acting through men is her only way to come into power.

immensely relevant and endlessly rewatchable classic.

watched the 4k restoration by Kino Lorber, great commentary with John Frankenheimer, so insightful, love listening to him. 5/5

it was the bugs! happy new year to all fellow citizens!

the biggest joke about this is that people initially misperceived this, haha. and still might actually do?! that makes it all the more enjoyable to watch. a satire well ahead of its time, scooping out all the hypocrisy and sillyness at the heart of 90s culture. putting an extra layer of ultra high gloss finish to it, tricking the exact people it mimicked. so the audience actually identified with hard core parodized Rico, the slickest vessel imaginable for our most shallow desires. mirroring all the naive kitsch and moral simplicity that 90s soap operas gravitated towards. look at the drawing he presents us, haha.

in consequence overlooking the social commentary on patriotic fascism, the military machine and overall cult of the alphas on all levels of society. the sillyness is screaming in our faces here in every imaginable way. it's kind of scary how naively embedded most people are in their times and culture, blindly falling victim to the medial flashiness of the propaganda apparatus which is clearly being parodized here. uncritically consuming all the things we crave. romanticized beautiful people, triumphant heroes, dehumanized others, violence, all the goodies.

gotta love how Verhoeven randomly sprinkled in some right in the face subversiveness into the mix, like the gender neutral showers. how did that mess with the experience of being immersed in the cinematic safe spaces of the times. haha, genius.

and yea, I have to drop this banger.

"the mobile infantry made me the man I am today!"

(showing exactly zero broken faith in the system while spinning his chair to the front revealing missing limbs on literally all his extremities).

that's the spirit!

part of the holy trinity of Verhoeven satires. maybe even the most fun. while I still think RoboCop is overall a slightly better movie. and I will always have a sweet spot for the trippyness of Total Recall and the topics it deals with.

watched the 4k by Sony Studios 3,5/5

witnessing the 1954 birth of Godzilla via the cinematic portal still weighs heavy to this day. the significance of this movie is even beyond terms like 'timeless classic' or a 'serious take on the monster movie genre'. the magnitude of this movie isn't fully done justice with these labels. considering how closely it is connected to the events of 1945 its release is an event of socio-historical relevance.

giving the people of japan a symbolic figure to enter a shared space of processing this trauma and national tragedy was vital in every way thinkable. it meant a starting point for working their way towards the unbearable and to therefore establish the possibility of collective cartharsis. installing this metaphorous monster rather than showcasing concreteistic images that would overwhelm and outstress the capacity to cope is brilliant. it underlines the unimaginable power and importance of the arts and especially cinema.

it is important to note here that the US occupation following 1945s defeat forbid a public debate about the atomic bomb drops of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. so all this national trauma was burdened on the shoulders of individuals. in 1952 Japan became fully independent again. just 18 months later this first Godzilla movie by Ishiro Honda was released.

so no wonder Godzilla is the king of monsters.

he represents the most devastating weapon ever used on this planet. he's a metaphor for the singular most deathly event in all history of humankind. the level of national trauma created is unmatched. the physical equivalent shows in Godzillas voluminous figure, his bulky, slow moving lower body, and his neck and head formed like the tip of the mushroom cloud. his atomic breath melting steel, turning cities into a sea of flames, his sweeping and uncontrolled slapping whip-like tail. all this representing the annihilating destruction the bomb brought in one moment to the other. Godzillas bruised look with the rashed skin, full of bumps and burn blisters, the dorsal spines like bones becoming visible in a malnourished body mirror the effects that the radiation had on its many hundreds of thousands victims.

in this sense Godzilla is the most real creature in the monster universe. he was born not out of some archetypal fear, rather than from the most concrete and consequential event one can imagine. he's been there ever since he's been brought to life and into the collective consciousness. the Godzilla franchise is the longest in all cinema, counting over 30 installments to this day.

up to this movie japan's society wasn't dealing and debating over ethical, legal and military aspects of the atomic bombings. the public discourse of responsibility found a new footing and platform in this movie. the right ones are being put in their place in it, equally as those that have compassion for the people are given room to speak up. it's a direct accusation of the government out of touch with the reality of its people. the allegations are also directed towards the leaders of the military, whose weapons are useless, their actions seem amateurish. they make the situation worse, and with its testing of even more powerful bombs they evoked the rage in Godzilla in the first place. thus reflecting the actions of japan's ruling class in the late stage of world war 2. by insisting to keep fighting against all odds and with an ultimatum put in place by the allied forces. in addition to this the ethical responsibility of science is heavily discussed here, bringing themes to the forefront that we haven't stopped dealing with since. as so of course in last years Oppenheimer.

after the pretty amazing Godzilla Minus One in 2023 we can truly say that Godzilla is alive, as potent as ever. his symbolic meaning has shifted quite a bit though. I noticed how much fun I had watching GMO, I felt ecstatic, it was like riding a fire spewing dragon with the thumping beat of the main theme under my wings. but I wasn't flying over a fictional fantasy land, this was Tokyo. bringing all this mass destruction to it. I wondered if it was a good thing, to make it such an abstract experience fully dissociated from the actual primary events and the consequence of Godzillas actions brought on the level of individuals. in Hondas original Godzilla movie we are very much confronted with this, giving the experience a very dark tone. almost too much to burden reflecting the traumatic material.

it seems that over time Godzilla has more and more become a symbol for remembrance, a guardian of our consciousness. and as such, he is alive and well, and that's a reassuring thing. because history has taught us that we are endangered of forgetting. even the apocalyptic devastation the atomic bomb brought and a possible nuclear fallout can bring to us. and with the evolving fields of science the threat is clearly more real than ever.

so yes, I was cheering for him, I was on his side. sensing that it was a good thing to fully visualize the devastating effects of the nuclear catastrophe. as a liberating form of deterrence as only possible way to find some form of peace amid the reality of the intolerable threat hanging over us. so maybe watching Godzilla Minus One was so intense, because the danger actually does exist. see here.

so yes, this franchise is very relevant. not just for japan, but for the entire global community. Godzilla is hugely popular everywhere and fascinates to this day. and considering the nuclear threat hopefully he is here to stay.

besides its historical relevance this movie is a masterpiece in analog film making. the black and white imagery looks absolutely stunning. the somber athmosphere of the last ten minutes of those dream like underwater images in combination with the beautiful score must be some of the most stunning scenes I have ever seen. as if I too was dipping into this sea of endless melancholy, sinking more and more into a deeply immersed state of soothing comfort, unreal, never seen anything quite like it. followed up by a scene of grief on deck, bitterly releasing tears, mourning the loss of a friend. this is true cartharsis. the suit-mation technique is of course just mind blowing. I remember watching it in my childhood and immediately being obsessed with the old kaiju movies. without understanding any of the subtext. this shows that there are other universal themes being picked up here. devastating and equally empowering stuff.

watched the 4k restoration by The Criterion Collection 5/5

"this is really funny, haha. it's the funniest thing. I don't know why, hahaha.

camera man Roger A. Deakins on the commentary as we see Steve Buscemi's character plainly stumbling over a snow covered field after he has just been shot.

this is pure hubris in full effect. a neo noirish moral tale in the scope of greek tragedy set in the american heartland of the wintry midwest. even the slightest earthly obstacle presented to our cast of protagonists hints at further downfall to come. everything is double layered. we are watching the gods having fun, preparing their next move. and we're laughing along. the ruination is inevitable and we're all for it. and the actual moments of leveling down, and there are many, are so insanely satisfying, so well executed. amazing.

besides the stellar script the cast is no less than god tier. Steve Buscemi has never looked more like Steve Buscemi. kind of funny looking right, more than most people even, haha. together with the perfectly installed Bruce Willis look-alike Peter Stormare they are one of the most iconic gangster duos ever, a blueprint for the ages.

all the other subtle power dynamics presented to us are so perfectly condensed to simplicity making everything so easily relatable. our small-guy protagonist being constantly humiliated by his patriarchal father-in-law struggling for respect on all levels is just hilarious. and then there's the integrity and down to earth normalness of female small town cop Frances McDormand being a keeper of morals in this corrupted messed up scenario. definitely keeping the gods in check there.

this is absolute perfection with all the ingredients that became the template for the TV show to follow. still think season one is by far the best installment of the original recipe.

watched the 4k scan by Shout! Studios, great commentary as mentioned with Roger A. Deakins 5/5

so Italia steps into his life. with all the significance that her name suggests. a real mensch, rooted in her surroundings and spirited with life. she has the capacity to burden the reality of loss inside her, beautifully intoning a little folklorist tune which carries the sorrowness inside her through the empty halls of the old land mansion. all the while placing buckets on the ground to capture the dripping rain that is falling from the leaky cealing. and all this enters our protagonists shattered inner world. we see him soak it all up. with awe. as if something inside of him is being touched for the first time in a very long time. it's a beautiful scene of remembrance. overloaded with symbolism.

this took place shortly after he had been spilled back into life after being imprisoned. he's still fully disorientated and living in the past. we see him stumbling through an unpresently presence, out of touch, having daydreaming visions of his ex girlfriend Beniamina. she is missing, so he visits her mother, this is where he meets Italia. but he withdraws and retreats in his own little masochistic refugium. everything there is, is inside of him. simultaneously we sense that there is a deeper vacuum and feeling of being lost lurking in him.

involuntarily he rejoins his old crew of very bizarre artefact robbers. they are still all that he has out there. and they haven't moved an inch. still unearthing the past without any emotional connection to the artefacts they dig up. it's pure plundering. shallow greed driven treasure hunting. a band of permanent pubes with no sense for the immaterial value of their loot playing an endless prank to society, seemingly outsmarting the authorities.

archaeologists as archetypal figure are actually very compelling and complexly conflicted, very much like our protagonist Arthur. we feel that he urgently wants to leave these people and this life behind, feeling an existential disconnect, almost physical disgust. these asshole friends of his are not going anywhere. when they are together he dissociates into his private realm of sunkenness. he has become an artefact of his own self, his world is in a state of upside down. he has no sense of moving on himself. his loss is holding him back. but not so much Beniamina as actual person it seems, rather than as a fantasized ideal of her. absolutely perfect in her beauty and gaze, just like the female statue they find later on that takes his breath away.

at this point he has already crossed path with Italia. so two of the most beautifully charismatic people you'll see this year meet in this abandoned place and they "tadah" miraculously come together. that messed with me I admit. but it's meant to bring a stark contrast to the darkness inhabiting Arthur, I had not fully understood at that point. still I do prefer a more realistic depiction of life in films quite a bit, haha.

so ultimately he is now gifted with this one true thing. the presenceness of their connection and with it a future lying in their hands. only to then neglect it. it becomes clear now the spirit world is well and still around. and they are coming for him, he has robbed them. a deep unmet guilt arouses, the underworld is calling. so he sneaks out late at night, leaving Italia behind. far away, joining another band of even less trustworthy plunderers, one he was not off to a good start with.

all this leads to the final scene. we see him seemingly join his lost love Beniamina in death. and it's that moment in which we recall that we didn't see him actually grieve at all. there were only all these concreteistic symbols and images, mirages of the past, unmentalized, never really brought to life. he never started to let go at all.

I'm all for emphasizing the power the past has over us. dealing with loss and the impossibilities of letting go is probably my most favorite theme in cinema. always searching for clues, haha, right. this fell flat to me in this regard. so was this his only path forward? to unite with the past, neglecting this vivid presence? what has more power to reinstall faith in us than a person in whom pain and grief actually have a home and are allowed to stay, where the reality of loss has been somehow integrated. reassuring that loss can be dealt with as an existential part of life.

making an experience of magical realism out of it emphasized my feeling of being put off even more. so this is on the level of Maximus or good old Braveheart William Wallace, joining their loved ones in death. a powerful narrative diving deep into our kitsch, a narrative that origins are interconnected with societal power dynamics. for example as a way to keep soldiers marching on, dying the death of martyrers instead of dealing with the reality of structural oppression and exploitation, numbing their revolutionary spirits. so this image felt to me like it had fallen out of time, as if I were myself digging up some artefact of the past. I want cinema to bring me into the trenches, to the forefront of my ambiguity, where personal experiences are deeply intertwined with structural societal realities.

this is a movie about how loss effects our present. in this case overshadowing everything in a state of no return. it's not a movie about a mourning process with actual grieving, finding a path back into the present. from the very beginning his death wish is apparent. he seeks the entrance to the underworld. in the final scene he neglects the thread which leads him back into the light that is being presented to him. we see a deep connect in him when he takes one last bath in it. but we understand that this is actually fueled by the inner sensation of finally being reunited. that is the only light left burning inside. this movie is full of references from greek mythology. but mostly without the developmental part of it. because there it is all about finding a way out. in unkitschy, clinical terms this is a depiction of suicidal depression.

so yes, overall I'm struggling with the resolution here. normal I guess.

the execution of course is mostly outstanding. it's so rich in symbolism and beautiful imagery, all with a very poetic tone. the two leads are truly mesmerizing. the screenplay seems a bit stereotypical at times, like that degenerated gang of his. and as somebody from the old world I don't tend to romanticize rural italian life. it's mostly a stark, rough place to live, and actually deeply reactionary. stunningly beautiful of course and perfect for a vacation. but not a place to live, no matter how bella italia is, haha. ultimately it's a death trap.

ok, unintentionally that kind of makes sense now.

watched on Mubi

having just recently watched Masaki Kobayashi's brilliant Harakiri I was very much familiar with japanese feudalism of the 17th century. structured around rank and a class system it established a rigid hierarchy of power that was to be protected at all cost as it constituted the power of the ruling class.

in Kenji Mizoguchi's Life of Oharu we see our female protagonist Lady Oharu beginning on the right side of society as daughter of a noble family living at the Kyoto court. her life takes a tragic turn when she begins a romantic relationship with a young page lower in social rank. the representatives and defenders of the feudal structure quickly find out and consequentially show no mercy pushing her out of her privileged position. thereby setting her spiraling downfall in motion.

the exploitation that follows has no limits. especially defined by her being a woman of course. Oharus endless struggle for rests of her dignity while trying to find a footing in this cruel patriarchal world is painful to witness.

I was mostly in a state of awe, going silent while following her descending fate. more and more she is stripped of power and confronted with unbearable oppression. in every new devaluated position and role she takes on she slowly and somehow manages to find some form of relief. until this comfort is once more abruptly taken from her. mostly by men and in acts of exploitative violence.

all this is shown in visually masterful pictures of stark realism. in long cautiously arranged detailed scenes we come very close to the experiences of our protagonist and thereby develop a strong compassion for her. Mizoguchi gives an unusual empathetic understanding of the chokehold of patriarchal feudal japan on a woman fallen out of rank. without any compromise we see every last bit of safe space and hope ultimately crumble to pieces along the way. even female support is mostly corrupted in this male dominated world soon turning unity into bitter rivalry. essential cinema.

watched the Blu Ray restoration by The Criterion Collection 5/5

the unprivileged version of Victoria and David Beckham. sure it's a social reality I'm aware of, but this particular little materialisation of socioeconomic depression actually made me sick to my stomach. motherhood in patriarchal societies especially in the lower class can be such a trap. forever caught in a cycle of financial dependancy, abusiveness and trauma.

watched on Mubi

this whole movie is an antidote to modern life. that's what makes it so appealing to our mentally exhausted selves. it's soothing for our burnt-out souls in its zen like understated take on everyday life. finding magic and meaning in the little things. a world that is right there, existing around us, a world that we've mostly lost the capability and capacity to perceive and relate to. the island of lost souls, right. that's us. yes, we're definitely part of an experiment.

this cinematic experience is fueled by our craving for such rooted connectedness. with the actual people and things that are there at our side. Paterson lives in Paterson, funny right. sure, but that's the essence here. he's right there, here and now.

so when is the last time we interacted in such a down to earth, openly way with the people we meet in public? is there even a real public life left for such discourse and interactions? that's mostly over and done with. actually we're staying private these days, each in our own little controlled domain perfectly matching our self image.

we're self absorbed drifters in the everywhere all at once multiverse opening up to us by our portal devices always at hand. Paterson doesn't want to join us. so he just walks around or sits and waits on the bus. and he interacts. or writes poems.

a bus driver who likes Emily Dickinson, that's awesome. the girl is so excited. it's so vital for our faith, to believe in something, in the people we share this space with. I guess that's what really touched me in that small heartwarming scene. our deep wish to believe in this world, and the devastating and corrupting effects a world gone off tracks has on us. pushing us even more into the realms of our own little version of fictional reality. that big tech provides for us.

so this is great to gently reconnect ourselves with all this. somehow it works, the possibility seems real.

on the other hand this reality had me wondering. why did Jarmusch make this guy have such an annoying wife? is there some deeper meaning to that I don't get or is there even some hidden misogyny involved? Laura's so cliche in her self absorbed artist existence. "very creative", yes, and so out of touch. she has her sweet moments sure. but they are few. mostly she's just in her own little dreamlike world of her black and white art full of circles. a great metaphor for her self image and naive world view. no grey tones and always in a state of closure. living in her safe little bubble. so unempathetic to her surroundings. she's in an even deeper refugium herself than we are. it's just her all the time, and her dog. and Paterson. can this be enough?

no, he definitely didn't like that cheddar cheese brussel sprouts cake. very original he claims. well, he managed not to lie. even worse than this disconnect are her ambitions about his poetry undermining the whole idea of these small observations. she's numb to their essence. it's what the name of his poem notebook implies, they're secret. she's so obsessed about him becoming famous. living through him, he's her link to power. while also overinflating her silly dream about entering the cupcake business.

when Paterson sits there with the dog, after this fellow had just torn his notebook to pieces, he says "I don't like you Marvin." Paterson is relating, processing. then Laura enters and punishes the dog, dragging him back in the garage, as if he were a human and had done something consciously wrong. she can't let go, trying to put the tiny pieces back together. sure I get the notion, but she also tries to bring him to write down the poems, the ones he's got in his head. I get that as well. but foremost she's just so clumsy in overlooking and neglecting his state of grieving. trying to let go and move on.

so he goes outside, as he always does. of course! so sitting there on that bench with that beautiful view of the old steel train bridge he meets another poet. of course he does! a guy from Japan, and they relate, and this guy finally gives him a piece of paper pointing out which great opportunities lie open to him on this blank page. and he immediately begins to write the next poem. it seems his faith is reinstalled, just like that. it just needed this one meaningful interaction.

so he writes his first poem after this crisis. he definitely wants to be a fish, yes, he wants to escape and vanish into the blue sea. his alter ego. maybe even far away from her. the limitless flow of the cyberverse is waiting Paterson. there might even be a small chance of defending your soul out here. good luck to us all.

watched on Mubi

this is so good. a classical, almost biblical tale of making one very relatable bad decision out of plain greed. opening up the pathway to an increasingly cascading downfall of desperately trying to cover up the initial and quickly culminating crimes. the core Fargo experience in full effect. set in almost fully black and white winterish landscapes this is as midwestern neo noir as they come. bleak to its bones in showcasing the dark heart of human nature.

what makes it especially compelling is the way an idea of uncorrupted decency is established against the lines of class, privilege and self image. at first we identify with Bill Paxtons character. set up to stay on his side dealing with all these hillbillies. but we are then quickly confronted with his manipulative ways trying to outsmart the law and his two partners in crime. one of them being his brother played by the great Billy Bob Thornton. a counter figure bringing all the unpredictability one can imagine to the scene. and a true uncorrupted heart.

we witness our main character continuously being humbled by his brother, who he ultimately looks down on and who was introduced to us as some kind of degenerate. a borderline character with an almost child like idea of moral purity setting him apart from the cold blooded calculabality of his brother. who always has his emotions in check. we soon understand the power dynamics and influence of his marriage seeing his wife's ambitions work through him. we sense that he's not on his own out there, unlike his loner brother.

watching these two unlike siblings work their way through this while dealing with ghosts of the past is pure suspense and drama at its finest. meandering between their own sociopathic tendencies and humaneness potential trying to somehow stay afloat is pure noir brilliance.

watched the 4k restoration by Arrow Video 5/5

a tender coming of age story about love and desire in our culture of heteronormativity from the perspective of a girl bending the boundaries of this structure. idealization and betrayal are such an inherent part inflicted on us by the psychosexual castration established in this culture. a lot of pain in the ones marginalized surrounding the people that seemingly fit. as they strive for power with all their might and against all inner ambivalence.

yes, rub her off and take a plunge into the unknown. time to establish a first outer limit to one's masochism. protecting a tiny seed of an idea of oneself outside of this obsessiveness.

I found this to be too voyeuristic in parts considering this is set in puberty. some images could have been less exploratory and concretely illustrated for my taste. on the other hand it's about claiming one's own sexuality and body integrity, in all its possibilities and ambiguity. and the deeply troubled conflictedness at the root of self and identity is not often dealt with. so yes, this is very much relevant.

watched on Mubi

at first I found this to be somewhat predictable in its kind of clumsily constructed screenplay. but hell, once the situation found its footing in the police station I was really enjoying myself. softening the line between good versus bad while establishing the keeper of morals and integrity. great!

my wish for reconciliation of the genders and races on any side of the law getting deeply satisfied in this bunch of heroes gathering around to protect the traumatized father. and the "right" immoral people get killed along these lines. sweet.

Leigh is such a cool female character. and it's always good to have people called Napoleon and Bishop on your side. loved them both with the same primordial purist energy that their names suggest. two men as far apart as you can imagine connecting on an existential, basic human level. Carpenter is such a master in resolving these antidotes and evoking this pacifying feeling in me. simple stuff, perfectly executed.

absolute feel good movie full of the typical suspensefulness and equally all the right Carpenter style resolutions. perfectly underlined by that great synth score of his.

Dum da da dum dum!

watched on Mubi

back in 1973 when Roe vs Wade established a framework for legal abortion and a new liberalism fighting for gender equality and women's rights rose to public attention a new generation of whiny patriarchal sociopaths were born. Peter, Bob, whomever, indistinguishably all the same. scary to this day. more than ever actually considering Dobbs vs. Jackson overruling Roe vs. Wade. misogyny still alive and well. time for more slashers.

watched the 4k restoration by Leonine 4/5

a very personal autobiographic case study exploring the dark side of motherhood. the archives of cinema are full of figures and images relating to women struggling with this role. and they are presented to us throughout in little cut scenes. Rosemary eg, or Anna, the 'possessed' one, and lots of others.

none have been sufficiently integrated on a societal level. seemingly patriarchy is trying with all its power to protect this mirage. self inflated men are dependent from the perfect mother and the narratives linked to this figure. both on an emotional level, someone that is always waiting for them, caring and responsive whenever they need her. but also in inversive relation to this, keeping her tied to the house and her children grants him free reign over socioeconomic power. making her, the person he subconsciously fears the most, dependant of him. this mostly uncovered reality of being trapped triggers defense mechanisms surrounding idealization and devaluation shifting between everyone involved in the traditional mother-father-child arrangement.

this whole idea of imperialistic expansion and male domination needs this idea of an ever nurturing mother. the classical hero depends on a home to return to, and her role is to wait and be ready. Homer already fked with this image, but we still haven't moved an inch it seems. rather we witness reactionary dystopian project 2025 in the making.

so yes, we love us some witches. and we get some dark fantasies presented to us here. great. we tend to mix up fantasies and dreams with reality. in fact they are just unsymbolised fears and wishes. deeply buried in this cultural setup surrounding the rigid role of motherhood in patriarchy. so much stigmatization when not fulfilled correctly.

actually being relieved from this internalized pressure was the central factor for a resolution of the symptoms. a fellow mother who had already been brave enough to go through this all, showing empowering solidarity and fully stepping to her side.

overall insightful and equally entertaining to watch. deepened my understanding for this topic. I definitely want to find out about those other scenes I didn't recognize.

watched on Mubi

easily passed the second watch test as well as the family watch challenge. warm and fuzzy in tone, heartbreaking yet ultimately heartwarming while respecting real life circumstances. no miracle here, still definitely a christmas season canon contender.

and yes, handshakes are underrated. this one will last. two hours of exploring friendship and trauma together all the while having profoundly deepened their relationship condensed in this one worthy moment.

our disconnect weighs heavy in these most present of moments Ryusuke Hamaguchi creates. on different levels. it's not like we're these people out there seemingly in touch with our surrounding in the first place. depressingly we're much closer to the predatory outsiders that come crashing in, endangering and undermining the flow of things and eco-social harmony of this community.

but as it turns out things are much more complex than the divisiveness we were set up for at the beginning. these people are already disrupted. of course. and those agents aren't inhumane in a sense of evil. of course not. knotting in the wounded deer allegory culminating in that last scene makes it a complex watch, very much open to interpretation and deeper discussion.

so no, it's not just, as the beautifully haunting score might suggest, a meditation on being in touch with nature and our community. neither is it solely a bleak depiction of our rapid downfall and loss of eco-social integrity in late stage capitalism. or a parabel for resistance. it's all of this in parts. but additionally it's a quietly unfolding character study and domestic drama. about the devastating effects of loss and guilt. still not sure I've got a good grip on this. which is probably a good thing. will have it with me for quite a while now.

watched on Mubi

Miyazaki reflecting on the relationship between dependency and autonomy against the background of a separation trauma. emotional abandonment let's the free spirited orphan girl Yuki flee with wide open arms into the world, tomboyishly playful and up to something, away from the overwhelming sadness lurking inside. the splitt off parts show when she gets too happy and suddenly slaps other people. neglecting a deeper meaningfulness and joy by keeping her wish for attachment and the fear of further disappointment in check.

we get a happy ending, she is reunited with the person most missing. the last shot hints at the integration of her psyche. in relaxed state we see her lying in the grass with dream like gaze admiring the flowers. she's allowed to stay.

this had me emotionally involved and triggered an emotional response. with a run time of five minutes. Miyazakis talent is evident.

watched on Mubi

a masterclass in deromanticizing the samurai mythos. layer by layer Masaki Kobayashi dissects the samurai code of honor as facade. bringing to light a system of authoritarian rule with a deeply inhumane heart. installed to enrich and reproduce the power of the ruling clans. the codex must be worshipped and secured. by all means and with no mercy. dehumanizing its agents.

a heavyweight in dramatic cinema. succeeding on every level of filmmaking. with the one small exception of the choreography and slightly sloppy execution of the fighting scenes in the last act. lacked a touch of zen in that regard. but it's clearly not the focus here. this is not meant to be an action movie. it's much more a complex socio-politically themed courtroom and domestic drama. as essential as cinema gets.

watched the blu ray restoration by Criterion Collection 5/5

floating above all earthliness, seemingly, skyhigh in the circus ring, the applause all around. yet still floored, deeply depressed by life. all in one person. of course the angel falls in love with her. it's all he longs for. the full range and whole weight of human existence.

this is all about the distance between us. reflecting on the misery of being trapped in one's existence. all these endless thoughts of angst driven inner distress isolated and never to be heard.

we share the pain of lacking desire with the guardian angel. having lost our view of the world through children's eyes, back when we were still fully immersed into the amazement of it all. these pictures are soaked in this melancholy of a world gone lost. and we witness despair. different faces of this state of existential separation. it's a meditation on the need of connecting in a deeply estranged world that has fallen into ruin. the long sequence of the old man makes this painfully visible.

Wim Wenders serves a solution. by finding ways to share this reality. we are fundamentally connected by our broken hearts, something went missing along the way. "I'm finally lonesome. now I'm complete." wow. we need to remember in order to reconnect. and there are places for that. it's where this movie is set, in all kinds of public spaces. so the possibility for recollective encouter is everywhere. most definitely at a Nick Drake concert in a small Berlin club. what a great scene. capturing the essence of it. finding some kind of resolvement from this pain as the realest form of shared experience.

still war torn and divided 80's Berlin is the perfect background for all this. so much vast loneliness and abandonment inhabit these urban sceneries. but also open space and the promise of opportunity. having a story yes, while still being in the process of reinventing oneself.

this is so rich in narration on every possible level that it makes me immediately want to return to it. essential cinema.

watched the 4k restoration by Criterion Collection 5/5

Stumpy is as iconic of a name and figure as you'll see. if it weren't for Dude right by his side, haha. always nice to spend some time with these guys. getting more and more intimate as it goes along. bonding while listening to the texmex cutthroat song from across the street. humming along. slowly sobering up. singing those sweet little tunes.

pretty flawless classic chamber western, with perfect pacing, slowly building up to surprising suspense as it heads to its final fun showdown. filled with intelligent, humorous and touchingly truthful dialogues and interactions along the way. and at its core with some genuinely genre deconstructing qualities as the hero does need the help of this bunch of anti heroes.

he as a figure also offers some reflection on imperfect masculine traits. uprightly clinging to his sense of duty and in doing so incorporating a sort of clunkiness especially relating to coquettish gambler Feathers played by fabulous Angie Dickinson. hanging on to those late night drinks rather than taking that nice hot bath or sharing that warm bed. well, finally he loosens up. having Dude and Stumpy around rubs off in the best possible way. and it goes both ways, as he has brought the best out of them. deeply satisfying to watch. I must say John Wayne is the perfect fit here.

yeah, always a good time. a true classic.

watched the 4k restoration by Warner Brothers 4/5

filmed in the era of Technicolor. and yes, these colors are glorious, so vivid and vibrant, an absolute feast for the eyes. the centerpiece stage performance has some of the most stunning visionary cinematography I've seen to date. it totally immersed me in its dreamlike surrealism reflecting the conflicts of the true life characters behind their stage personas. I actually held my breath for more than once, and I don't tend to do that. and I'm not into ballet. but it's just so mesmerizing and beautiful. had me in tears more than once, not actually crying, more like Boris at the end, haha.

this movie feels like it actually touches you, I mean on an almost physical level, the haptics of these exploding colors give it an extra dimension. hard to describe, absolutely baffling and unique.

this is great on every level. it's a story about artistic ambitions colliding with romantic love, being torn between these two worlds, that here can not be pacified. the extra layer of reflecting the inner worlds of the characters by the piece that is being performed on stage makes it a complex, touching psychodrama.

ballet theatre is a special sociotope for all these themes of backstage power dynamics circling around devoting yourself to the artistic work and submitting yourself to the people in charge. it always seems such a cruel place. it devours you. you dance and you dance, on and on. and then you die. right, very much like in the title giving Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale. a blueprint for movies to come.

at least Victoria stepped out before she was drawn back in. those night scenes over the Mediterranean Sea are a treat. hauntingly beautiful.

besides the most wonderful Moira Shearer Anton Walbrook playing Boris is amazing. it's such a nuanced depiction of an obsessive personality, having incorporated the whole range of manipulation, stopping at nothing for his success. and as we sense more and more in the last act ultimately being tragically trapped in his preoccupied idea of greatness. with tears in his eyes.

watched the 4k restoration by Criterion Collection, stunning, one of the best restorations and transfers I've seen 5/5

dealing with loss is of somewhat special interest for me lying on the cinematic couch. so of course I vividly recall how it shook me to my very core when I first watched this movie take its sudden fateful turn. I was not at all prepared. for that to happen. I mean being hit by it in such a way.

it's one of those moments that stuck with me becoming a blueprint for a very distinguishable emotion. yes, this is about loss, but even more a state of utter distress. there's unbearable guilt enscribed into the main characters pain tearing every last bit of self image and comfort into pieces. something is forever broken. it's his own fault and there's no possibility of reparation, none at all. the normal path to reconciliation is blocked. he's ultimately trapped in his guilt.

in fact he isn't actually grieving at all, he's frozen. there is no sorrow. only misery.

so why on earth can something so depressing resonate with me and so many others on such a deep level? what underlying inner catastrophe does this mirror having never experienced anything even anywhere close to this? might there be parts in us that are halted as well? that are resistant to change? a hidden place inside where we're stuck and have become masochistic in order to preserve a long lost world, believing it's our fault that she went missing. blaming only ourselves. a deeply encapsulated refugium of endless self pity and sabotage in which we've settled into? clinging to the idea that one long time ago everything was seemingly perfect and we were the ones who messed up? and only if we stay put, this world will somehow come back to us? you might want to call it depression, right.

so yes this is absolutely heartbreaking, but ultimately also in a profoundly good way. because it opens up a path. it's a movie about somehow moving on while being completely shattered to pieces. slowly and against all odds infusing a first glimpse of light into this crater of darkness. and that's what got me so deeply involved I believe. the full acknowledgement of inner ruination in this heartwrenching story about somehow finding some kind of footing and way forward.

he opened a room for his nephew. a room outside his own self absorbed, caved in existence with all the self disgust and self pity. it's a shining proof for the existence of humaneness and the power of relating with one another in a profound and meaningful way. bringing hope and solace into each other's lives. and a sense of being responsible for one another, a wish to care.

and thereby reestablishing our faith in this life. a miracle actually, considering the tragic circumstances. if he can move on, I guess I can more than definitely as well, haha. that's the healing power for me here. so it kind of makes sense that this is part of my christmas season movie canon.

watched the Blu Ray by Universal Pictures 4/5

"how can you live with that?" right, that's what this is all about. the prince of the city has become a rat.

started as attempt to clear his conscience by becoming an informant of the Chase Commission Daniel Ciello the leading detective of the powerful Special Investigation Unit, a unit running the city seemingly like princes without any restrictions, is increasingly confronted with the backlash of turning against his colleagues. as it all evolves the guilt displayed is morally so multilayered and complex that it's at times almost unbearable to watch. and this guy is guilty, not like we all our, but his wrongdoings are spread over town in a way unimaginable.

and the heaviest burden lies inside himself. he's no sociopath, not a truly bad person. no, he feels his crimes and he's equipped with a strong sense of loyalty to his partners. "I sleep with my wife, but I live with my partner."
he clinges to this at the beginning, screaming it into the world, it's his moral compass and we feel it. but we immediately sense that this is flawed as it is in parts a narrative to defend his own lawlessness.

so yes, it's multifaceted in every possible way. kind of exhausting if you really commit yourself and dive into this deeply ambiguous yet somehow likeable character. Serpico as the one true honest cop in a sea of corruption is like watching a stylish light hearted herodrama compared to this heavy shit.

so, let's see. right, his entanglement with the mob, having friends there complicates things even further. the guilt trap is everywhere and every step he takes the feeling of dishonor builds up. the moral ambiguity soon goes places beyond any path to resolution. more and more the lines between the hunter and the hunted dissolve, on every level inside the department, out in the streets, at home. things turn on him. his corrupted actions of the past are quickly coming after him from all sides. evermore creeping up from the inside. "you're never going to be able to live with yourself, Danny." Rocky knows his shit.

so the point is made, this is an insanely demanding watch. it took me four sessions to get through it. what had me coming back and going on was lead actor Treat Williams. I was immediately taken in by his performance. he's a great fit for the role in my opinion. his embodiment of the tension building up inside his ever more torn character is stellar. truly love the dude. so many memorable scenes.

just watch him sitting around with his colleagues, casually in the garden, the ones he's now informing on, trying to connect to them, overplaying his burdened conscience, telling a joke in an increasingly deranged way, maniacally laughing while everyone goes dead silent. it's so good.

this will stick in my memory, not sure I will return anytime soon though, haha.

watched the Blu Ray by Plaion Pictures 4/5

okay, now that angel definitely earned his pair of wings. a genius take on a Christmas Carol. suddenly being a stranger to them made him fullheartedly come to his senses. about what truly really matters, yeah. the ever so wondersome and wonderful Jimmy Stewart putting us in hard core christmas spirit. now lets send the three ghosts to pay Mr. Potter a visit.

watched the 4k restoration by MGM 4,5/5

movies I would upgrade further in a second

• Fires on the Plain
• Prince of the City
• A Ghost Story
• Manchester by the Sea
• Miami Vice
• Little Women
• Nightcrawler
• The Wild Bunch
• The Place Beyond the Pines
• Johnny Guitar

...plus 40 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

primarily interested in high quality restorations of influential classics of the analogue era of film making

• Steel Magnolias
• The Conversation
• Jaws
• Halloween
• The Wicker Man
• Chinatown
• Possession
• Naked Lunch
• Dressed to Kill
• Heat

...plus 294 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.

• Ida
• Beauty and the Beast
• Andrei Rublev
• The Squid and the Whale
• Lady Chatterley
• Lantana
• The Claim
• Liebelei
• Revanche
• Le Plaisir

...plus 28 more. View the full list on Letterboxd.