• Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

    Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

    Watched this while recovering from kidney surgery. Frankly, the breaks I took to piss blood were more enjoyable.

  • Bloodsport

    Bloodsport

    ★★★★

    Depending on which of the two types of martial arts movie plot you prefer (fighting your way through a tournament to avenge the death/injury of your friend/relative or learning a new martial arts technique from an old master to avenge the death/injury of your friend/relative) then either this or Kickboxer is Van Damme's best film. Although he should have won two best actor Oscars for Double Impact, obviously.

  • Chocolat

    Chocolat

    ★★½

    A remarkable selection of accents. I'm fairly sure not everyone was actually French. I'm definitely sure Johnny Depp is not Irish.

  • The Evil Dead

    The Evil Dead

    ★★★★

    Yes the acting is variable, yes some of the effects are hokey, but it's really important to remember the impact The Evil Dead had on horror cinema on its release. There's some incredibly creepy moments and a real sense of dread throughout (and beyond) the whole build up. And Ash's demonic friends are absolutely nightmarish.

  • Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

    ★★★★

    I rather liked this amiable amble through late 60s Hollwood. Let's face it, not a lot really happens in Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood other than a whole load of history being rewritten but it's fun hanging out with these people for a couple of hours.

    For my money Brad Pitt is the best thing here and his fight with Bruce Lee is cinema gold I tells ya.

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★★

    Like the the two preceding instalments, there's plenty I enjoyed and Rise of Skywalker tries its best the drag the stuttering trilogy to an acceptable conclusion. There's tonnes of fanboy servicing in this one, not least the numerous cameos (visual and aural) of characters from across the previous trilogies and spin-offs. It's definitely best to not think too deeply about the nonsensical return of the Emperor. I was invested in the film for the first hour or so but did…

  • Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Avengers: Age of Ultron

    ★★★½

    It goes bang in all the right places, has some snappy one-liners and Hawkeye gets more to do in this one (and in one of my favourite moments gives Scarlet Witch a pep talk near the end in which he basically says "yes I know I'm the shittest Avenger").

    I'm just not sure it actually makes much sense though. That said, the whole thing is so bewilderingly dense I could be wrong. Anyone?

  • Rocky

    Rocky

    ★★★★½

    Okay, so the set-up for the boxing element of the story is a bit rushed and the film teeters on the brink of OTT melodrama a couple of times, but damn, Stallone is really good in this.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★★★

    Tremendously enjoyable sci-fi romp in which Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec ditches Mouserat* in favour of a rodent of a different stripe. Or something. Anyway, it was funny and exciting and stuff.


    *If you've never watched Parks and Recreation then this won't make any sense. Also, why have you never watched Parks and Recreation?

  • Prey

    Prey

    ★★★★

    Yes! Now THIS is how you make a Predator film. You don't need to go to the decaying urban near future, nor another planet, nor rock up with a wacky script and wacky characters. You don't even need multiple Predators. You definitely don't need any Xenomorphs. It's under-equipped people relying on their creativity and cunning to try to bring down a terrifying, technologically-advanced foe. And it is great.

  • Alien

    Alien

    ★★★★★

    Hadn't seen it in years. I love how the film really takes its time - just the landing sequence when they go down to the planet is a solid five minutes for example. Brilliantly cast and absolutely riveting from beginning to end.

  • Dawn of the Dead

    Dawn of the Dead

    ★★★★★

    Watched the longest (Cannes) cut recently so thought I'd do the shortest (Argento) cut as well. Although the "normal" version will always remain my favourite because that's the one I grew up with, I have to say the Argento cut is probably the best technically - certainly in terms of much tighter editing, pacier storytelling and extra zombie kills. If only it included the zombie having the top of his head sliced off with rotor blades.

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