My mostly hero – the Maestro
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Bernstein family around the piano.Leonard Bernstein
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If you love someone or something fiercely, you must be sturdy enough to withstand the intense splatter and complex situations that come with this love.
Felicia Montealegre was a Chilean actress with a respectable resume from her Broadway and Off-Broadway appearances. She came from a South American aristocratic Catholic family; her husband from a Ukrainian-Jewish immigrant family.
Four years into their relationship, Lenny and Felicia exchanged vows. She pledged to accept him as he was and promised never to play the martyr to his “adventurous” lifestyle. Neither family believed their child’s chosen partner was good enough.
Their families struggled to get along at the couple’s rehearsal dinner in 1951. As Leonard “Lenny” Bernstein’s mother remarked early on, “He could do better.”
By the time the couple returned from their yearlong honeymoon, Felicia was pregnant with the first of their three children. The newlywed Mrs. Maestro refused to take her husband’s last name.
Perhaps, it was something she saw between their two engagements – one missed wedding date they had set and then cancelled, or maybe it was his polyamorous tendencies, or his bisexuality, for which he had regularly seen several psychiatrists trying to reconcile which sexuality he would embrace.
The new movie, “Maestro,” starring Carey Mulligan as Felicia and Bradley Cooper, who co-wrote the script, produces, directs and stars as Leonard Bernstein, should be in theaters by the time you read this.
Producers include Martin Scorsese and Steven Spielberg, among others. The reviews I’ve read are mostly good as they seek to unravel the tale of the Bernsteins’ 30-year, intensely complicated and well-traveled relationship. The marriage ended with Felicia’s death in 1978. She was 56.
Knowing the movie would be a holiday release, I read the book, “Famous Father Girl, A Memoir of Growing Up Bernstein.”
The author – Jamie Bernstein, the couple’s first-born – probably won’t win any literary prizes, but she skillfully provides her candid insights, including her father’s long absences because of his brilliant celebrity and his boundless appetite for sex – with his wife and others.
“Famous Father Girl” also gives the reader some idea of the demand for Bernstein, not in the U.S., but all over the world, and she speaks at some length about her father’s activism for peace, for Israel and for social justice. She also missed him terribly when he was always away, conducting somewhere.
Like those in many families in the early days of television, beginning in 1958, my entire household would gather in our living room never missing the once-monthly, Sunday afternoon “Young People’s Concerts” (CBS), hosted by Bernstein who magically tutored us all on various aspects of classical and modern music, as well as musical styles, introducing us to various composers. These concerts were later aired on Saturdays and, much later, in prime time.
I loved the concerts and the fact this very charismatic and highly popular conductor would take his time to explain his musical world in terms a kid could understand. Unbelievable! And I was in awe.
Years later, students at top music schools around the country were quick to credit Bernstein and his excellent tutoring on the “Young Peoples Concerts” (now available on CDs).
And I am looking forward to – as I understand – the newest, bright star on the podium – Gustavo Dudamel, the new conductor of the New York Philharmonic. Dudamel, who begins a five-year contract in the 2025-’26 season, has plans to resurrect these concerts.
Fast forward to the early 1990s when Ron, my husband of two years, and I watched the musical, “Candide,” on PBS one afternoon. That’s when he told me about his family’s connection with Bernstein.
My husband’s son, Kevin, had graduated from The University of Texas some years before with a degree in theater arts. Because he was a talented scenic designer, he won several competitive internships during his junior and senior years at UT. One of these, in New York, required a three-week stay.
During the intermission for “Candide,” Ron commented about Bernstein’s hospitality, how nice he had been and how he had invited Kev to stay at his home during his internship.
I agreed. That was, indeed, generous of the renowned conductor. And who would turn down an opportunity to hang out with a celebrity-genius?
That was before I met Kev who had been living on the West Coast. When he visited, the puzzle began taking shape. Although Ron’s son had not come out to his father, his presence in our home during his first trip back to Texas left little question. He also was quite good-looking – tall, blonde, muscular arms, six-pack abs, tight T-shirts and tattoos.
Kevin had been one of Lenny’s boy toys, a home-wrecker in an odd way, and while my husband saw Bernstein as a gracious host, I totally believed some of the gossip I had read.
But, back to Bernstein’s daughter’s book, “Famous Father Girl.”
While I am sure Jamie has already seen the movie about her father’s and mother’s complicated relationship, in real time she experienced the pain of watching the dual lives her parents had to live and the excruciating truths that accompanied them, including her father’s insatiable bisexual appetites that resulted in a relationship with Tom Cothran, causing Bernstein to move to the West Coast for two years.
On his way out the door, the spunky and devastated Felicia warned: “You’re gonna die a lonely, old queen.”
To the maestro’s credit, he immediately returned to New York when he learned Felicia had been diagnosed with lung cancer and stayed to care for her until her death in 1978.
According to Jamie’s book, her father was gutted by Felicia’s death and began a long, painful downward spiral and illness-riddled journey into his last years. There were days when he refused to eat or get out of bed.
His boyfriend, Cothran, who caused Bernstein’s breakup, died of AIDS in the 1980s.
Bernstein lived long enough to enjoy several grandchildren before his death from a heart attack on Oct. 14, 1990. He was 72.
Epilogue
Leonard Bernstein (born Louis Bernstein) was a composer, pianist, music educator, author and humanitarian. Considered to be one of the most important conductors of his time, he was the first American conductor to receive international acclaim.
Bernstein was “one of the most prodigiously talented and successful musicians in American history,” according to music critic Donal Henahan.
Bernstein received numerous honors and accolades, including seven Emmy Awards, two Tony Awards and 16 Grammy Awards (including the Lifetime Achievement Award), as well as an Academy Award nomination (almost an EGOT, if EGOTs had been around then).
He received the Kennedy Center Honor in 1981. Without a doubt, Leonard Bernstein left his mark not only on the musical universe, but also in the worlds of musical theater, opera, ballet and religious music.
He was like a 100-year comet – flashing through the stratosphere, bringing light around the globe and then disappearing until a new century brings another genius to the spotlight.
Yet, perhaps as Cooper’s movie shows us, the true hero in the story was not Mr. Maestro, Leonard Bernstein, but Mrs. Maestro – Felicia Montealegre – the woman who loved fiercely.
Felicia Montealegre was a Chilean actress with a respectable resume from her Broadway and Off-Broadway appearances. She came from a South American aristocratic Catholic family; her husband from a Ukrainian-Jewish immigrant family.
Four years into their relationship, Lenny and Felicia exchanged vows. She pledged to accept him as he was and promised never to play the martyr to his “adventurous” lifestyle. Neither family believed their child’s chosen partner was good enough.
Their families struggled to get along at the couple’s rehearsal dinner in 1951. As Leonard “Lenny” Bernstein’s mother remarked early on, “He could do better.”
By the time the couple returned from their yearlong honeymoon, Felicia was pregnant with the first of their three children. The newlywed Mrs. Maestro refused to take her husband’s last name.
Perhaps, it was something she saw between their two engagements – one missed wedding date they had set and then cancelled, or maybe it was his polyamorous tendencies, or his bisexuality, for which he had regularly seen several psychiatrists trying to reconcile which sexuality he would embrace.
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Leonard Bernstein |
The new movie, “Maestro,” starring Carey Mulligan as Felicia and Bradley Cooper, who co-wrote the script, produces, directs and stars as Leonard Bernstein, should be in theaters by the time you read this.
Producers include Martin Scorsese and Steven Spielberg, among others. The reviews I’ve read are mostly good as they seek to unravel the tale of the Bernsteins’ 30-year, intensely complicated and well-traveled relationship. The marriage ended with Felicia’s death in 1978. She was 56.
Knowing the movie would be a holiday release, I read the book, “Famous Father Girl, A Memoir of Growing Up Bernstein.”
The author – Jamie Bernstein, the couple’s first-born – probably won’t win any literary prizes, but she skillfully provides her candid insights, including her father’s long absences because of his brilliant celebrity and his boundless appetite for sex – with his wife and others.
“Famous Father Girl” also gives the reader some idea of the demand for Bernstein, not in the U.S., but all over the world, and she speaks at some length about her father’s activism for peace, for Israel and for social justice. She also missed him terribly when he was always away, conducting somewhere.
Like those in many families in the early days of television, beginning in 1958, my entire household would gather in our living room never missing the once-monthly, Sunday afternoon “Young People’s Concerts” (CBS), hosted by Bernstein who magically tutored us all on various aspects of classical and modern music, as well as musical styles, introducing us to various composers. These concerts were later aired on Saturdays and, much later, in prime time.
I loved the concerts and the fact this very charismatic and highly popular conductor would take his time to explain his musical world in terms a kid could understand. Unbelievable! And I was in awe.
Years later, students at top music schools around the country were quick to credit Bernstein and his excellent tutoring on the “Young Peoples Concerts” (now available on CDs).
And I am looking forward to – as I understand – the newest, bright star on the podium – Gustavo Dudamel, the new conductor of the New York Philharmonic. Dudamel, who begins a five-year contract in the 2025-’26 season, has plans to resurrect these concerts.
Fast forward to the early 1990s when Ron, my husband of two years, and I watched the musical, “Candide,” on PBS one afternoon. That’s when he told me about his family’s connection with Bernstein.
My husband’s son, Kevin, had graduated from The University of Texas some years before with a degree in theater arts. Because he was a talented scenic designer, he won several competitive internships during his junior and senior years at UT. One of these, in New York, required a three-week stay.
During the intermission for “Candide,” Ron commented about Bernstein’s hospitality, how nice he had been and how he had invited Kev to stay at his home during his internship.
I agreed. That was, indeed, generous of the renowned conductor. And who would turn down an opportunity to hang out with a celebrity-genius?
That was before I met Kev who had been living on the West Coast. When he visited, the puzzle began taking shape. Although Ron’s son had not come out to his father, his presence in our home during his first trip back to Texas left little question. He also was quite good-looking – tall, blonde, muscular arms, six-pack abs, tight T-shirts and tattoos.
Kevin had been one of Lenny’s boy toys, a home-wrecker in an odd way, and while my husband saw Bernstein as a gracious host, I totally believed some of the gossip I had read.
But, back to Bernstein’s daughter’s book, “Famous Father Girl.”
While I am sure Jamie has already seen the movie about her father’s and mother’s complicated relationship, in real time she experienced the pain of watching the dual lives her parents had to live and the excruciating truths that accompanied them, including her father’s insatiable bisexual appetites that resulted in a relationship with Tom Cothran, causing Bernstein to move to the West Coast for two years.
On his way out the door, the spunky and devastated Felicia warned: “You’re gonna die a lonely, old queen.”
To the maestro’s credit, he immediately returned to New York when he learned Felicia had been diagnosed with lung cancer and stayed to care for her until her death in 1978.
According to Jamie’s book, her father was gutted by Felicia’s death and began a long, painful downward spiral and illness-riddled journey into his last years. There were days when he refused to eat or get out of bed.
His boyfriend, Cothran, who caused Bernstein’s breakup, died of AIDS in the 1980s.
Bernstein lived long enough to enjoy several grandchildren before his death from a heart attack on Oct. 14, 1990. He was 72.
Epilogue
Leonard Bernstein (born Louis Bernstein) was a composer, pianist, music educator, author and humanitarian. Considered to be one of the most important conductors of his time, he was the first American conductor to receive international acclaim.
Bernstein was “one of the most prodigiously talented and successful musicians in American history,” according to music critic Donal Henahan.
Bernstein received numerous honors and accolades, including seven Emmy Awards, two Tony Awards and 16 Grammy Awards (including the Lifetime Achievement Award), as well as an Academy Award nomination (almost an EGOT, if EGOTs had been around then).
He received the Kennedy Center Honor in 1981. Without a doubt, Leonard Bernstein left his mark not only on the musical universe, but also in the worlds of musical theater, opera, ballet and religious music.
He was like a 100-year comet – flashing through the stratosphere, bringing light around the globe and then disappearing until a new century brings another genius to the spotlight.
Yet, perhaps as Cooper’s movie shows us, the true hero in the story was not Mr. Maestro, Leonard Bernstein, but Mrs. Maestro – Felicia Montealegre – the woman who loved fiercely.
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