The Santa Clause is the 224th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Dan Murrell. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1994 American Christmas fantasy comedy The Santa Clause. It was published on December 5, 2017 to coincide with the Christmas holiday season. The video is 4 minutes 18 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.5 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - The Santa Clause of YouTube
"A half-baked Christmas movie that you think is a classic because you were a kid when it came out and didn't know any better." ~ Honest Trailers - The Santa Clause
Script[]
From the director responsible for all things Tim Allen, comes the film that asks children to imagine: What if Santa was real? And what if he was a legally binding curse inflicted on whoever stole the pants off Santa's dead body?
The Santa Clause
This movie is why a whole generation can't spell his name. Huh.
Return to the Christmas of 90's past (Scott Calvin: "Ho ho ho!"), where, just like a pop star making a half-baked Christmas album (David Hasselhoff (singing): Feliz Navidad!), actors at the height of their powers would pump out a half-baked Christmas movie that you think is a classic because you were a kid when it came out and didn't know any better.
Meet Scott Calvin, a careerist jerk; he's fighting his jerk ex-wife and her jerk boyfriend over custody of their jerk kid! (Charlie Calvin: "You never do what I want to do! Scott Calvin: Would you please be quiet?") but, when he fourth-degree murders Santa Claus, he'll take his job, give it his own jerk flair (Girl: "How come you don't have a beard?" Scott Calvin: "Do you want this doll or not?" Scott Calvin: "Go back to sleep.") get fat-shamed by his jerk coworkers (Jerk co-worker: "You're starting to look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy!"), then lose his career, clean legal record, and son in the process! Uh, 'happy' holidays, I guess?
Experience a film all about the magic of Christmas that sucks all the magic out of Christmas. Where Santa isn't a man, but a job title, Santa dies so often, the rules of succession are printed on his business card, and Santa's physique isn't a choice, but a virus that twists the host's body into a Santa shaped mass from which there is no escape. Hmm, I wonder what would happen if a woman killed Santa. Or a child. Or a dog.
Santa Paws: "I'm Santa Paws now."
They made a movie out of that too? Woof.
Prepare to believe again, specifically the belief that therapy is for losers (Scott Calvin: "He's not a doctor, he's a psychiatrist."), as this broken family drama makes it clear Santa and psychiatry don't mix (Neil Miller: "He's not Santa." Charlie Calvin: "He is too Santa!"), where not only is all mental health advice stupid, but the whole reason the hero believes in Santa is to get revenge on his ex-wife for dating a shrink (Charlie Calvin: "He doesn't believe in Santa." Scott Calvin: "Well, Neil's head comes to a point." Teacher: Go ahead, Dr. Miller." Scott Calvin: "I guess we know who's the teacher's pet." Wendy Crewson: "Scott! Oh, grow up." Charlie Calvin: "He listens to me." Scott Calvin: "Then he charges you for it."). Ho ho, holy moly! Someone's got some issues to work on.
Journey to the North Pole for a strange new take on Santa's Workshop with its own paramilitary squad that operates outside of human law (Paramilitary elf: "We're your worst nightmare."), eternal child brides trained to service Santa's every need (Scott Calvin: "You look pretty good for your age."), and Bernard, a cruel taskmaster who keeps the workers toiling away at their stations (Bernard: "Excuse me, are we on a coffee break?") and blackmail Santa into leaving his old life behind or else Christmas is dead for everyone.
Bernard: "You wouldn't want to be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas, now would you?"
There is no way this place has a union.
So revisit this 90's throwback that makes everyone's fantasies come true. From kid's fantasies that Santa is real, parent's fantasies that their children will respect them, the studio (Disney)'s fantasies that this movie deserved a trilogy, and Tim Allen's fantasy that he wouldn't immediately crack in a police interrogation. (Interrogator: "Name." Scott Calvin (as Santa Claus): "Popo zhizhou.") Unlike, y'know, what ACTUALLY happened. Look it up (shows photo of Tim Allen's arrested for possession of cocaine).
Starring: [Tim Allen as Scott Calvin] To Festivity and Beyond; [Judge Reinhold as Dr. Neil Miller] Ryan Stiles?; [Elves] The Kids That Make Your iPhones; [Eric Lloyd as Charlie Calvin] They Can't All Be JTT; and... [David Krumholtz as Bernard] The Pimp From True Romance.
Honest title for The Santa Clause - The Santa Curse. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
The Santa Curse
Neil Miller: "You're gonna make a great psychiatrist one day, kid."
Charlie Calvin: "No, I think I'm going to go into the family business."
So... you're gonna kill your dad?
Trivia[]
Honest Trailer Commentaries - The Santa Clause
- Screen Junkies have also produced Honest Trailers for several other holiday movies including Elf, Home Alone, Love Actually, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Die Hard. The Honest Trailers writers said that all Christmas movies are really twisted when you scratch the surface.
- The writers were annoyed by the portrayal of Judge Reinhold's character, as they perceived him as a nice, supportive person who was helping raise Scott Calvin's kid, but the movie makes him out to be a jerk. They said the character portrayed by Cary Elwes in Liar, Liar got the same unfair treatment.
- Head writer Spencer Gilbert originally wanted to include more about Tim Allen's arrest for possession of 650g of cocaine, but cut down the references as, although he found them interesting, they weren't strictly relevant to the movie itself. Head writer Spencer Gilbert found a BuzzFeed article written by someone who claims David Krumholtz's character Bernard sparked their sexual awakening.
Watch the full Honest Trailer Commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - The Santa Clause has a 96.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. SlashFilm commended the Honest Trailer for showing the film in a "different light" by revealing how creepy the plot actually is. Hello Giggles said Screen Junkies "really go after this holiday fav." In the same article, Hello Giggles praised the Honest Trailer for calling attention "to all of the things we didn’t really notice as kids, like the film’s fat-shaming, disdain for psychiatry, and militant North Pole workshop leaders. Also, the fact that the whole thing is kicked off by Scott Calvin (Allen) witnessing the death of Santa Claus, and not doing anything about it." Hello Giggles said the Honest Trailer's barbed comment "that you only think of it as a classic because it came out when you were a kid" stung a lot. Geek Tyrant also appreciated the Honest Trailer for changing their perspective on the film. Geek Tyrant wrote, "Now that I've seen this Honest Trailer, I'm beginning to question if even that film is worthy of the Christmas spirit as it is really a twisted concept."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Santa Clause
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Producers - Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Max Dionne
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Dan Murrell
Edited by Kevin Williamsen and TJ Nordaker
External links []
- ‘The Santa Clause’ Honest Trailer: When the Magic of Christmas Becomes a Cursed Job - SlashFilm article
- "The Santa Clause" Honest Trailer reminds us that this movie is about a fourth-degree murder - Hello Giggles article
- Honest Trailer For THE SANTA CLAUSE Really Brings Home How Twisted The Concept Is - Geek Tyrant article