Honest Trailers - The Mummy (1999) is the 294th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1999 action horror film The Mummy. The video is 5 minutes 24 seconds long. It was published on May 7, 2019, to coincide with the 20th anniversary of the film. This video kicked off Screen Junkies' first Blockbuster Summer season in which they turned their attention to blockbusters both old and new. The video has been viewed over 1.6 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - The Mummy (1999) on YouTube
"The only Mummy film anyone under 80 has actually seen and enjoyed." ~ Honest Trailers - The Mummy
Script []
You've seen the classic 1932 Boris Karloff version... Doesn't ring a bell? Okay, you explored Tom Cruise's dark universe... Skipped that one too? Well then, it's time to revisit the only Mummy film anyone under 80 has actually seen and enjoyed...
The Mummy (The Brendan Fraser One)
(An image of Brendan Fraser appears and winks.)
Meet Rick O'Connell, whose solution to every problem is to shoot guns at it. [Montage of Rick shooting guns]. Literally, every problem. [Rick continues to shoot guns]. He may not have a plan [Rick: "Who was talking about what?"], he may not have consent [Rick grabs Evelyn's face and kisses her through prison bars], but Rick's armed with the ultimate superpower: being Brendan Fraser. I mean look at those eyes, that jawline! Who wouldn't want to B-Fras raiding their tomb, huh? [Evelyn: "I am going to kiss you, Mr. O'Connell." (she falls asleep)].
Joining O'Connell for the ride is a crude Arab stereotype [Arab man wearing a fez spits while riding a camel]. And some arrogant white people. [White guy: "Hey, Where did out smelly little friend get to?"]. On a quest to plunder another culture's sacred artifacts. Together they'll unearth an ancient treasure, unleash an ancient curse, and they won't let you forget for a second how ancient everything is ["Ancient curses." "Ancient burial site." "Ancient Egyptian." "Ancient Arab storytellers." "Ancient booby-trap" "Ancient times." "Ancient Egyptian curses." "Ancient secret society." "Ancient mirrors." "It's an Ancient Egyptian trick."].
Watch in horror as they accidentally resurrect Imhotep, an ancient Egyptian priest who was so hated by the Pharaoh he gave him superpowers? ["For he would arise a walking disease, a plague upon mankind, an unholy flesh eater with the strength of Ages, power over the sands, and the glory of invincibility!"]. What happened to murder? Does murder not work anymore?!
Strap in for the 90's answer to the Indiana Jones franchise, that's set around the same time period, in similar locations, and employs the same combination of adventure comedy, and exact characters:
Indy shoots a guy waving a sword.
Rick shoots a guy drawing a sword.
Indy: "Abner was sorry for dragging me all over this earth looking for his little bits of junk."
The Mummy: "My father was a very famous explorer."
Indy: "There is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away."
The Mummy: "It looks to be like I've got all the horses!"
Indy: "Secret of the Grail has been safe for a thousand year, the Brotherhood of the cruciform sword had been prepared to do anything to keep it safe."
The Mummy: "And for 3,000 years we, the Magi, the descendants of Pharaohs sacred bodyguards kept watch."
But in fairness, those Indie movies were inspired by classic adventure serials [King Solomon's Mines], which were inspired by radio dramas [King Solomon's Mines: "We continued our journey along Solomon's great road."] which were inspired by pulp novel [King Solomon's Mines by Henry Rider Haggard]. So let The Mummy be yet another reminder that nothing you've ever enjoyed is original. [Rick: "Rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, and save the world." British guy: "Oh! Ha, hahahaha!" White guy rolls his eyes and sighs.]
So buckle up and ride along as our heroes track down a map that's hidden behind a key which they need to open some books [Evelyn: "I think this may be the book of the dead."]. While their ancient foe tracks down some body parts, which he needs to find some jars for.... for which he needs to bring back his lover.... Eh... The plot really matter though! What you're really here for is the charming characters and the violence. [Clips of violence]. The brutal non-stop violence. [More clips of horrendous carnage]. Wow. This movie is really violent. But hey, there's no blood so bring the kids! [a child sobs]. Why are your eyes closed, Billy? There aren't even any brains on the floor! Stop crying or I'll make you watch The Scorpion King! [The Rock is in a harem. Woman: '"A man! And it gets so lonely!" The Rock cocks an eyebrow and grins.]
Starring: [Brendan Fraser as Rick O'Connell] Dune Patrol; [Rachel Weisz as Evelyn] God of Lore; [Kevin J. O'Connor as Beni Gabor] Courage The Cowardly Dude; [Arnold Vosloo as Imhotep] Darth Plagueis The Dry; [Stephan Dunham as Isaac Henderson] Kort Russell; After Effects 'Sand' Texture; A Shadow With The Face of Stannis Baratheon; and Khakis.
The honest title for The Mummy (1999) was '1001 Arabian Whites.' Title design by Robert Holtby.
1001 Arabian Whites
Since we know the Mummy is scared of cats, why don't all the heroes just defeat him by covering themselves in cats? I'd watch Brendan Fraser in a cat suit! [Cat hisses]
Trivia[]
Honest Trailers Commentary - The Mummy (1999)
- The writers created Blockbuster Summer in order to make several highly requested Honest Trailers that they otherwise had no reason to do. The writers were surprised to learn The Mummy (1999) had such a passionate fanbase. In fact, the fandom has their own wiki which is called, fittingly, Rickipedia.
- In the associated episode of Honest Trailers Commentaries, the writers riffed on the pharoah's ludicrous plan to punish Imhotep by giving him superpowers when he could simply be killed. They also mocked the pharoah's foolish decision to preserve the key to Imotep's release and the only copy of the resurrection spell, when both items could be easily destroyed.
- This video expands on the Epic Voice Guy lore: he has a child called Billy.
- The last viewer's comments pay tribute to Star Wars vetaran Peter Mayhew, who had died this year.
- Screen Junkies also made an Honest Trailer for the 2017 remake of The Mummy, starring Tom cruise. They have also made Honest Trailers for several other historical action movies including Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Pirates of the Caribbean, Gladiator, Robin Hood (2018), 300 and many more. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Watch the full Honest Trailer Commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - The Mummy (1999) has a 98.1% approval rating from YouTube viewers. The Awesomer wrote that Screen Junkies "lovingly roast" the movie in the Honest Trailer. Ethan Anderton of SlashFilm appreciated the Honest Trailer for highlighting that "Rick O’Connell shoot guns at anything and everything, but he’s also screaming a lot. The 1920s were a different time. In fact, so was 1999, because it was still totally acceptable to have awful Middle Eastern stereotypes for sidekicks."
The Mary Sue observed "Honest Trailers has fun poking holes in The Mummy‘s character and plot run-down, comparing how much is identical to people and tropes we find in the Indiana Jones series. To be fair, however, they also demonstrate how much Indiana Jones borrowed from the adventure stories and radio plays that came before him." In the same article, The Mary Sue also noted that "the Honest Trailer also highlights why the movie still works. That’s all due to its standout, often outlandish characters, who make this more than just a rote good guys-fight-CGI-monster flick." The site added, "There’s no better nostalgic joke than the one Honest Trailers squeezes in here about the Mummy himself, Arnold Vosloo, calling him 'Billy' in passing, because of his near-identical appearance to actor Billy Zane."
Production Credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - The Mummy (1999).
Epic Voice Guy: Jon Bailey
Title Design by Robert Holtby
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris
Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne
Edited by Kevin Williamsen
External links []
- Honest Trailers Unwraps 1999’s The Mummy - Hipster Zombie Joint article
- ‘The Mummy’ Honest Trailer: The One Where Brendan Fraser Shoots at Everything - SlashFilm article
- Things We Saw Today: Honest Trailer for Everyone’s Favorite Mummy Movie, the Brendan Fraser One - The Mary Sue article
- The Mummy Honest Trailer - The Awesomer article
- An Honest Trailer for The Mummy - Neatorama article
- Brendan Fraser's THE MUMMY is the Best Version and the Honest Trailer Agrees - Geek Tyrant article