Romeo + Juliet is the 384th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, Vanessa Guerrero, Logan Rees, and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1996 romantic crime tragedy film Romeo + Juliet. It was published on February 9, 2021, in anticipation of Valentine's Day. It is 4 minutes and 23 seconds long. It has been viewed over 100,000 times.
Script[]
In a world full of violence and romance, two young lovers will-- Hold on. Sorry. This doesn't feel like it fits the material. Can we try some iambic pentameter? Where's my high school lit book? (flips through the book) Let me see here. Uh... (clears throat)
- A classic work of English literature,
- Of love forbade and youthful lives undone,
- That's been retold a thousand times before.
- But this time, there are lots of drugs and guns.
Romeo + Juliet
- Shakespeare's immortal romance set today,
- In fair Verona, now a beachside town,
- That looks like an ad for Axe Body Spray,
- Presented for the royal British crown.
- A modern look at the Bard's classic play:
- Baz Luhrmann likes to show Leo cavort,
- A theater kid who's crossed with Michael Bay,
- Whose films have helped us write our book reports. (shows scenes from Romeo + Juliet and The Great Gatsby)
- Want something subtle? Try a different film.
- Did you know that they call their guns "swords"?
Benvolio: Put up thy sword.
- If you're having trouble keeping up,
- Here are extreme close-ups of some words. (shows focus shots on words ripped from Shakespeare's bibliography)
Are these Shakespeare Easter eggs? Because I'm not enough of a nerd to get them. Or a... different kind of nerd.
- Meet Romeo, a boy who speaks in whispers. (montage of Romeo whispering his dialogue)
- And does he do that Leo squint? You bet. (montage of Romeo scowling)
- Every 90's girl wished that he'd kiss her,
- And just like them, he's always soaking wet. (montage of Romeo being dripping wet)
Romeo: The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.
Sploosh.
- Hark! An angel/codependent mess!
- It's her, the 90-minute fiancée.
- She'll show the depths to which she is obsessed,
- By sending Paul Rudd in his prime away.
Huge mistake, girl.
- Our heroine is not quite as complex,
- Blankly stares as if she's in a dream.
- It gives you enough time to recollect
- The fact that she's supposed to be thirteen. (Ugh...)
- They fall in love while others take the hits, (Romeo shoots and kills Tybalt)
- So who cares if these little brats are vibin'?
- Their daddies turned Verona into sh*t.
- She's Ivanka Trump; he's Hunter Biden.
Apothecary: (as Romeo points a gun at him) My poverty, but not my will, consents.
- When rival families crash a costume party,
- The spectacle surpasses any play.
- When has Shakespeare ever been so trippy?
- When has Mercutio been so gay? (shows Mercutio dancing in a sheer dress)
- The Capulets and Montagues are a-holes.
- They wave their guns in public; so naughty.
- They ride the coattails of a famous name,
- Much like Leo's old, ahem... "posse". (a Complex.com article with the title "The Unauthorized History of the P*ssy Posse" pops up)
- When R + J's love roars into a blaze,
- Their passion thaws their family's cold standoff.
- Marriage, sex, and death, all in just two days,
- Barely time for Molly to wear off.
- Such a tragic tale of young lives crimped.
- Their fake death plan goes wrong, so she takes aim.
- Romeo's the patron saint of simps,
- And dies before he learns her middle name.
- So try to enjoy Shakespeare with no lions.
- No, really; Lion King is just Hamlet.
- At this point, Hollywood is barely tryin'.
- How derivative can writers get? (shows posters for Gnomeo & Juliet, Life & Lyrics, Valley Girl, The Lion King II: Simba's Pride, Warm Bodies, Romeo Must Die, and West Side Story)
- The play's the thing, but not so much this movie,
- Unless Elizabethan troubles you.
- Watch this film that makes it go down easy.
- Its true home is on The CW.
Starring: Rome-Emo (Leonardo DiCaprio as Romeo Montague); Claire and Present Danger (Claire Danes as Juliet Capulet); The Merc with a Mouth (Harold Perrineau as Mercutio); Hey, Is That Jamie Kennedy? (as Sampson Montague); Can't Man (Paul Rudd as Dave Paris); Aunt Man? (John Leguizamo as Tybalt Capulet); and That One Line You Know From Westworld.
Father Laurence: These... violent delights have violent ends.
It's Lit
The honest title for Romeo + Juliet was ‘It's Lit’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Rosaline is about to get a wild phone call from one of her girlfriends telling her about the literal bullet she just dodged.
Viewer's Comments[]
Please say "They recast Pietro?!!?" - Benjamin Abramowitz
Say "Romeo, Romeo where art thou thy Romeo" - Isabel S
Say: "what do you get when you mix Bees with a Ghost... BoooOoOooBeeEees." - theBaronofPacific
Please say " Steven its me your mother" for a friends 30th - imcool0213
Please say, "Suck it Matt and Morgan" - Joe
Trivia[]
Reception []
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, Vanessa Guerrero, Logan Rees, & Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Executive Producer: Roth Cornet