Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is the 471st episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1992 Christmas comedy film Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. It was published on November 8, 2022. It is 6 minutes and 27 seconds long. It has been viewed over 100,000 times.
Script[]
From the director of Harry Potter... back when that meant something (Chris Columbus), and a massive child star who turned out pretty normal by child star standards...
Macaulay Culkin: And since we are bound to this planet, industry and production can't mirror the infinite expansion of the universe.
...comes the 30th anniversary of the rare holiday sequel that isn't terrible...
Ralphie (A Christmas Story 2): Holy jeez!
...unnecessary...
Catherine Johnson (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2): I just forgot all about Christmas.
...or completely off the rails.
Santa Claus (The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus): Hold tightly to my belt, for we are going to journey through the air and circle the world! (takes off)
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
It's Christmas time once again for the McCallisters; Buzz is still a bully...
Buzz: Beat that, you little trout sniffer.
...Fuller is a whiz kid...
Peter: --you sleep on the third floor.
Fuller: Yeah, with me. (loudly slurps a soda)
...Mom's telepathic...
Kate: I have that feeling.
Kevin: (staring out a window) Good night, Mom.
Kate: (staring out a window) Good night, Kevin.
...and the other twelve are background gingers who contribute nothing at all to the story. But while Big P doesn't even get a line, laugh along with little Kevin while he talks to himself for two whole hours.
Kevin: Where are those guys? / My family's in Florida, and I'm in New York. / The Plaza Hotel, New York's most exciting hotel experience. / Luxurious, and spacious. / Merry Christmas, Kevin. / This is the greatest accident of my life! / You can mess with a lot of things, but you can't mess with kids on Christmas. / Hey! Uncle Rob lives here. If they're back from Paris, I'll drop in on them.
There's... nobody else in the room, Kev; Uncle Frank really messed you up, huh?
Uncle Frank: You know what they're gonna call you in France, don't you, huh?
Kevin: No.
Uncle Frank: (pulls down Kevin's pajama pants) Yank! Hehehehehehe!
When Kevin gets shunned by his own family... again, and stuck up in the attic as punishment... again, he'll be all alone thanks to a last-second travel mix-up... again...
Kate: KEVIN!!
...lies to adults... again...
Kevin: You think I'd be here, alone? I don't think so. / A kid, going into a hotel, making a reservation? I don't think so.
...make use of convenient movie dialogue again...
Johnny: I'm going to give you to the count of ten... / I'm going to give you to the count of three...
...get stalked by two burglars again, build up an elaborate trap house again, get bailed out by a scary old stranger again, yadda-yadda-yadda. Hey, come on, it all worked out great the first time; why not just try it again? Just don't try it again again...
Announcer: Home Alone 3.
...or again again again...
Announcer: Home Alone: Taking Back the House.
...again again again again...
Announcer: Home Alone: The Holiday Heist.
...and definitely not again again again again again; that would just be stupid.
Announcer: Home Sweet Home Alone.
Revisit screenwriter John Hughes' happy place: the white side of Chicago. Then, take advantage of 1992's lax airport security...
Airport Security: Now you're sure your family's on this flight?
Kevin: Yeah.
...to visit New York City; scale the mighty Twin Towers, experience the magic of Central Park...
Hobo: Watch it, kid! (laughs)
...and potentially get shot on Fifth Avenue.
Donald Trump: Down the hall and to the left.
Just don't cross the staff of the Plaza Hotel; these grinches are out to ruin Christmas, by refusing to let a child fake his identity...
Kevin: (through his Talkboy) This is Peter McCallister, the father.
...commit fraud...
Kevin: (through his Talkboy) Credit card? You got it.
Kevin: (watching his purchase get processed) Wow! It worked.
...and stiff them on tips.
Kevin: (after handing Mr. Hector a stick of gum) And there's plenty more where that came from.
Suck it, grown-ups doing your jobs! (shows Mr. Hector getting slapped by Kate) Hope you get smacked in the face and think you're being shot to death! (shows the hotel staff ducking as Johnny in the film fires his tommy gun)
Return to the franchise that mixes luxurious escapism for kids, with torturing criminals to death, also for kids. (shows Harry and Marv slipping on loose pearls) Harry and Marv return with a new sticky gimmick...
Marv: --we're the Sticky Bandits! (holds up his tape glove with coins stuck to it)
...and while the cursing remains PG (montage of Harry angrily mumbling to himself), the violence is rated X, as in, "Kevin murders them ten different ways." (montage of Harry and Marv suffering injuries that would kill normal people, with the counter slowly increasing) That's enough, Kevin... (counter +2) Kevin, stop! (counter +2) Please! They're already dead! (counter +2)
Kevin: --do you guys give up? Have you had enough pain?
Yes! Mercyyy! (shows the counter increasing by 1 as Marv is electrocuted and his skeleton is visible)
So cuddle up for a sequel to the film about standing your ground...
Kevin: Hello. (shoots Marv with a toy rifle as he peeks in through a doggy door)
...that's now about leaving your home to dish out vigilante justice across state lines (counter +2), in this celebration of every child's most deeply held Christmas fantasies: having a Talkboy, eating pizza in a limousine on your way to a toy store, and telling Rob Schneider to f*ck off.
Cedric: (after Buzz hands him a wad of chewed gum) Nice family.
Starring: Terrorist Bueller's Week Off (Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister); Oh, So I'm "Funny" Now, Huh? What's So F*ckin' Funny About Me, Huh?! Oh, It's All to Getting Hit in the Head and Falling Over Stuff? Yeah, All Right, That's Pretty Funny. (Joe Pesci as Harry Lyme)...
Marv: Happy Hanukkah, Marv.
...Oy (Daniel Stern as Marv Murchins); We Need to Talk About KEVIN! (Catherine O'Hara as Kate McCallister); Success Shun (Kieran Culkin as Fuller McCallister); Pennywise, Pound Foolish (Tim Curry as Mr. Hector the Concierge); The Schneider Cut (Rob Schneider as Cedric the Bellman); Birdwoman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Homelessness) (Brenda Fricker as Pigeon Lady); and Jeffrey, It's Your Friend Donald... You Know Those Kids You're Looking For? Get a Load of This. (Donald Trump as Himself)
Home Alone 2: Moppet Takes Manhattan
The honest title for Home Alone 2: Lost in New York was ‘Home Alone 2: Moppet Takes Manhattan’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Buzz: All right, everyone, let's dig in!
McCallister Kids: Yeah!
Leslie: (as Kevin sneaks off) E-Everybody, now wait. Save the paper.
They finally track down their son, and he immediately sneaks off on his own to see the Pigeon Lady?!
Peter: KEVIN!
Will someone put a leash on this kid?
Viewer's Comments[]
Please say: "HAHAHA! YOU FIGHT LIKE A GIRL! WHO IS ALSO A BABY!" - Joe4
Please say "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me!" - Benjamin Abramowitz
Please say "Maybe it was an iguana." - CreekWalker
Please say "We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese" - Witecat J
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Edited by: Randy Whitlock
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Post-Production Coordinator: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Assistant Editor: Rebecca Castaneda
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne