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Godzilla: King of the Monsters is the 310th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2019 monster film Godzilla: King of the Monsters. The video is 5 minutes 10 seconds long. It was published on August 27, 2019 as part of Blockbuster Summer. It has been viewed over 1.3 million times.

Watch Honest Trailers - Godzilla: King of the Monsters on YouTube

"Godzilla forbid we see a monster fighting in a clear sunny day." ~ Honest Trailers - Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Script []

You loved 2014’s Godzilla, for the few minutes you could actually see Godzilla. Now, get ready for a sequel that heard your demands, and MASSIVELY. OVER. COMPENSATES. Boom! First scene in the movie, Godzilla. Bam! More Godzilla. Pow! Who has atomic breath, two thumbs and is in a movie title? This guy! [shows Godzilla shooting his atomic breath into the sky]

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Strap in for two looooong hours of non-stop Kaiju high jinks that you could almost see when they’re not obscured by blizzards, hiding behind waterfalls, submerged beneath the ocean, flying through debris, and whatever’s happening here; because Godzilla forbid we see a monster fight in a clear sunny day. [shows cheap fight scene from Godzilla vs. Megalon] Never mind.

When you’re not squinting at particle effects, spend the rest of your time with the humans of the movie. Look, I’m really sorry, guys. We kinda have to. Featuring The Russells, your typical nuclear family. Mom is a genocidal maniac, Eleven is too good for Eggos now, and dad is a professional animal listen-to-er. Follow their time-tested love story, as boy meets girl, boy and girl make biorhythmic acoustic device to talk to whales, Godzilla eats their son (I think), girl reapplies whale tape to control kaiju, boy gets drunk and lives with wolves in Tony Stark’s cabin, girl teams up with eco-terrorists to awaken an ancient space monster, boy helps nuke rival earth monster to enhance it’s power an- all right, hold up. All of that stuff happens in THIS movie?! How is it still SO boring?

Sigh as a cast with 6 Emmys and 5 Oscar nominations between them tackles a big-budget Sharknado. Where Sally Hawkins is killed off in the blink of an eye, Ken Watanabe tries to say “Godzilla” as many times as he can before dying [Ken Watanabe: "Godzilla." "Godzilla." "Godzilla." "Godzilla."] And Charles Dance is.... also.... present. [Charles Dance: We'll take him."] Leaving brilliant actors with nothing to do but track down giant monsters ["Track and study Godzilla on his own turf." "It allows us to track him." "We lost Godzilla. "Dropped off the scan near Venezuela." "Let's keep looking."]. And when they find them, stare like a fish that washed up on dry land [Epic rock anthem "Great Ambition" plays over a montage of characters staring wordlessly.].

So strap in for the millionth modern action movie where the villain wants to destroy humanity in order to save the earth ["We are the infection."] that underwhelmed audiences and disappointed at the box office -- but since Godzilla vs. Kong is already in production the franchise is literally too big to fail. Whoo hoo! We're getting it no matter what! The real alpha is corporate inertia! Rawr!

Starring: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Kaiju! (Kyle Chandler as Dr. Mark Russell); Typical Kaijuish Mother (Vera Farmiga as Dr. Emma Russell); Titan Teen Go! (Millie Bobby Brown as Madison Russell); An Old Man Filled with Regret Waiting to Die Alone (Ken Watanabe as Dr. Ishirō Serizawa); Why Didn't She Just Seduce These Monsters? (Sally Hawkins as Dr. Vivienne Graham); Hand of the King Ghidorah (Charles Dance as Alan Jonah); Respect the Original and Put Her in a Tiny Seashell! (Zhang Ziyi as Dr. Ilene Chen and Dr. Ling); I'd Have Given Godzilla A Third Movie If I Could (Bradley Whitford as Dr. Rick Stanton); Thicc Lizzy (Godzilla); Hail Hydra (King Ghidorah); Come My Lady, Come Come My Lady, You're My Butterfly, Mothra, Baby! (Mothra); Mexico Wild Wings (Rodan); Franchise Building [Dr. Russell: "How many of these these things are there?" Dr. Serizawa: "Seventeen."]; and The Bear From The Shining?! What the?! What is wrong with this family?! (a slightly-disturbing-in-hindsight family video)

Honest Trailers Godzilla King of the Monsters Open Invideo 4-34 screenshot

The honest title for Godzilla: King of the Monsters was 'Let Them Fight Club.' Titles designed by Robert Holtby.

Let Them Fight Club

I’ll admit, all of my science knowledge comes from watching Chernobyl. But, [shows burning Godzilla making a plasma explosion] that’s like... really really bad, right?

 Trivia[]

Honest_Trailers_Commentary_-_Godzilla-_King_of_the_Monsters

Honest Trailers Commentary - Godzilla- King of the Monsters

Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube

Reception[]

Honest Trailers - Godzilla: King of the Monsters has a 90.1% approval rating from YouTube viewers. ComicBookMovie said the Honest Trailer "does a pretty great (and hilarious) job of summing up the underwhelming monster movie." Hayden Mears of CinemaBlend wrote "The video makes some great points. Godzilla: King Of The Monsters has too many human characters we don't care about, and every monster fight takes place in near-darkness. It's frantic, disorganized, and a bore. It's arguably too ambitious, even for a big-budget monster movie." Evan Valentine of ComicBook.com wrote "the Screen Junkies manage to lay out some fairly effective criticisms in this trailer, knocking the movie down a peg with some valid concerns and hilarious nitpicks all the same."

Production credits[]

Honest trailer godzilla king of the monsters

Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Godzilla: King of the Monsters.

Epic Voice Guy: Jon Bailey

Title Design by Robert Holtby

Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris

Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne

Edited by Kevin Williamsen

External links []

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