Honest Trailers - Braveheart is the 296th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 1995 epic war film Braveheart. The video is 4 minutes 47 seconds long. It was published on May 21, 2019, to coincide with the 24th anniversary of the film's theatrical release. This video was produced as part of Screen Junkies' Blockbuster Summer season, in which they turned their attention to blockbusters both old and new. The video has been viewed over 1 million times.
Watch Honest Trailers - Braveheart on YouTube
"Journey to medieval Scotland, a place where the men are loud, the women are silent, and everyone's hair is grody." ~ Honest Trailers - Braveheart
Script[]
Mel lost his wife and got mad. [Mad Max] Then he lost his wife and got lethal. [Lethal Weapon] Now, he'll lose his wife and get brave in...
Braveheart
Journey to medieval Scotland, a place where the men are loud, the women are silent and everyone's hair is grody. When their land is taken by history's snootiest conquerors ["Scottish rebels have routed one of my garrisons"], William Wallace will get some payback [Payback (1999)]. But there's no defense against this true Scotsman. He'll yell you into a frenzy. He'll stare you into his bed ["Its just I saw you staring at me, and I didn't know who you were... "Because of the way you're looking at now."] And... He... Will... Rock... You. [clips of Mel Gibson throwing rocks].
Strap in for a tale all about taking back liberty -- that takes every liberty with the true story. Because if it were accurate, there'd be no kilts, bagpipes, or face paint. No wife, princess or plot-centric cuckoldry ["I will bless this marriage by taking the bride into my bed"]. And Wallace's big speech before a battle was actually "Behold I have brought you into a ring, now carol and dance as well as you can." Huh.
But you're not here to learn; you're here for all the hot sweaty action. Whether it's man on man, man on horse, or arrow in butt. Braveheart's got more violence than you can shake a field full of dicks at. [Scottish warriors raise their kilts mockingly before battle, then charge ferociously at their enemies]. Woo! That's what I'm talkin' about!
Do you like torture? You do?! Well thank you for being honest, weirdo! Now strap yourself in because Mel is adding to his bizarrely long resume of pain [clips from torture scenes in Lethal Weapon, Payback, Maverick, and Conspiracy Theory] in an endless torture finale that makes it clear what drew him to the story. ["Rack him."] Ehh, you know what they say. Follow your passion [The Passion of the Christ (2004)]. Eh!? Ehhh!??
So gear up for your dad's 300 that's the kind of Hollywood epic they don't really make anymore. Where the armies are real, the Scotsmen are Australian, and you forgive all of its many flaws because it gets you pumped every single time. [Montage of battle violence. William Wallace: "They'l never take our freedom!"]. Woooo! U-S-A! U-S-A! Uhh... I mean, SCO-OT-LAND! SCO-OT-LAND!
Starring: [Mel Gibson as William Wallace] Kiltmonger; [Patrick McGoohan as King Edward I] King Bad Guy; [Catherine McCormack as Murron] There's Something About Murron; Have Fun Storming the Castle! Prince Adam; [Sophie Marceau as Princess Isabelle] Le Padme; [Brendan Gleeson as Hamish] Tormund Mediumsbane; [Angus Macfaydyen as Robert the Bruce. He widens his eyes, the visuals go psychedelic and dubstep music plays] When The Drugs Hit; [James Cosmo as Campbell] I Used To Be An Adventurer Like You Until I Took An Arrow To The Chest... And an Axe to The Hand... And Another Axe to The Gut; and Game of Thrones? [clips comparing Braveheart and Game of Thrones].
White Clansman
The honest title for Braveheart was 'White Clansman.' Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
Sure Mel was almost 40 playing a guy in his early 20's, but to be fair, people aged hard back then. I mean look at this guy [James Cosmo as Campbell]. He's 35!
Trivia[]
Honest Trailers Commentary - Braveheart
- In the associated episode of Honest Trailers Commentaries, the writers stated that being able to tackle older movies for Blockbuster Summer made them feel "renewed."
- In a deleted starring joke, Brendan Gleeson was referred to as "In Brogues," a reference to his appearance in the 2008 crime film In Bruges.
- Another deleted joke played up the potentially homo-erotic subtext of the film. However, the writers felt the joke felt forced and not honest enough, unlike several other Honest Trailers where they have made the same joke, e.g. 300 and Top Gun.
- All the writers appreciated the film's battle scenes because they really do feature thousands of extras in period costume, unlike modern movies which rely on CGI.
- Screen Junkies have also made Honest Trailers for several other historical action movies including Gladiator, Robin Hood (2018), Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Pirates of the Caribbean, 300, The Mummy (1999) and many more. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube
Reception[]
Honest Trailers - Braveheart has a 97.9% approval rating from YouTube viewers. Geek Tyrant said the Honest Trailer was "pretty hilarious." The site wrote "Yeah, Braveheart is one of my favorite films ever, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy laughing at certain aspects of it that are pointed out in this video. As the video points out, you forgive all of the movies flaws because “it gets you pumped every single time."
Production credits[]
Video thumbnail for Honest Trailers - Braveheart.
Epic Voice Guy: Jon Bailey
Title Design by Robert Holtby
Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris
Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne
Edited by Kevin Williamsen
External links []
- An Honest Trailer for Braveheart - Neatorama article
- ‘Braveheart’ Honest Trailer: This Is Totally Your Dad’s ‘300’ - SlashFilm article
- Honest Trailers Hilariously Takes on Mel Gibson's BRAVEHEART - Geek Tyrant article