Loki is the 409th episode of the Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Logan Rees, Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the first season of the 2021 superhero television series Loki. It was published on August 10, 2021. It is 8 minutes and 24 seconds long. It has been viewed over 1.1 million times.
Script[]
They've done heart-wrenching examinations of pain and grief, meditations on America's betrayal of Black soldiers, but now, a Marvel series is ready to take on life's biggest question: How long would it take for you... to do yourself? About a week tops, right?
Loki
Now that Marvel's killed off its only good villains (shows the deaths of Killmonger, Loki, Thanos, and Tony Stark), they'll turn back in time to pluck Loki from The Avengers, dress him like he's in a ska band, and do a speed-run through three movies' worth of character development.
Recording of Odin: I love you, my sons. Remember this place.
But honestly, I'm glad they made the show; Tom Hiddleston hasn't been this charming since that POV Chinese vitamin commercial.
Vitamin Commercial Tom Hiddleston: Probably be a bit busy for the next few weeks. But, um... I'll make it up to you soon. I promise.
Is he supposed to be my husband, or are we having an affair? Either way, I'm in!
Follow Loki's journey through space and time to escape the clutches of the TVA, a bunch of time cops tasked with the sacred duty to try and make the word "prune" happen.
Renslayer: They want to personally oversee the variant's pruning.
Mobius: The TVA has pruned a lot of these guys.
Hunter B-15: Prune on sight.
Mobius: No! No pruning!
Mobius: She's already been pruned.
Male Hunter 1: Just prune it. Let's bail.
Renslayer: So, are you going to prune me?
Male Hunter 2: Already pruned her.
Hunter B-15: Prune it.
Renslayer: Prune him.
Male Hunter 3: She self-pruned.
Watch them clean up the MCU timeline with the ruthless efficiency of Kevin Feige murdering a Netflix series, because apparently, the only version of events that's allowed to happen is the one where a rat saves half of existence and Captain America goes back in time to beat his own ass.
Take a number, Tommy boy, because this isn't just a showcase for one Loki; there's an entire Comic-Con's worth of variants to cosplay as, like Sylvie, the femme fatale who spent her life camping out in various Ragnaroks, making it hard for her to trust someone...
Sylvie: I can't sleep around untrustworthy people.
Sylvie: What was I thinking, trusting you?
Loki: Because you can't trust, and I can't be trusted.
...and even harder for her to open up to the possibility that she might just want to do herself. And I mean, come on; most people do themselves every day. Like, multiple times a day. And the timeline is just fine. Trust me! A-Ahem... There's Classic Loki, proving that Richard E. Grant can make you love any character, even if he's dressed like Kermit the Frog and talking nonsense for thirty minutes straight; Kid Loki, who murdered Thor... but, like, kid Thor. All he'd have to do is dangle a candy bar near a wood chipper and let nature take its course.; Alligator Loki. He... is an alligator. (Alligator Loki bites President Loki's hand off, causing him to scream in shock and pain); and Chinese Vitamin Commercial Loki. What? You can't tell me that's not an extremely health-conscious Loki variant. I mean, just look how many vegetables he made me for breakfast!
Vitamin Commercial Tom Hiddleston: (speaks in Chinese)
They're joined by Mobius, a bureaucrat who's obsessed with Loki, and jet skis, which makes him the perfect partner for the man who's also obsessed with Lokis, and jet skis. See? Jet ski! (shows 2012 Loki riding a Chitauri hovercraft) Then there's Judge Renslayer, an evil bureaucrat who discovers that she's actually middle management, not upper middle management like she thought. <GASP!> Gasp.; Miss Minutes, just one of many multimedia presentations the show has to use to explain what's going on without your eyes glazing over... (montage of characters discussing timeline jargon)
Loki: Your salad... is Asgard.
Mobius: No, don't do--! (sighs wearily as Loki pours apple juice on his salad)
...and Kang the Conqueror... 's annoying theater kid variant. Journey to the Hogwarts at the end of the universe to meet Marvel's next bad guy with a thing for purple (Thanos, Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, Agatha Harkness), and thrill as after five episodes of fast-paced excitement, Kang plops into the series like the Architect from Matrix 2 if he also did improv. (montage of "He Who Remains" and the Architect overexplaining the mechanics of their worlds) (whispering) This scene is eleven. Minutes. Looong...
When Marvel needed to get trippy, they called up Rick and Morty writer Michael Waldron to run the show, and he's bringing along a grab bag of wildly original concepts, like portal guns, space lizards...
Loki: Space lizards!
...barely escaping planets before they're destroyed, speeches about how existence is chaos...
Mobius: Existence is chaos.
Morty: Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die.
...hive minds...
Loki: Me, I presume?
Sylvie-through-Hunter B-15: If anyone's anyone... you're me.
Blue Alien: My passion for unification--
Summer: You mean stealing people's bodies?
Rick: Summer! Rude!
...tech that's always running out of juice...
TemPad: You're outta juice!
...characters very precisely and cuttingly breaking each other down psychologically...
Mobius: --insecure need for validation would motivate you to find the killer.
Rick: You act like prey, but you're a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That's how you survive!
...getting drunk during big missions...
Sylvie: You're drunk.
Loki: No. I'm just full. But bear in mind, I'm very full.
...and time prison.
Fourth-Dimensional Being: You know what they do to third-dimensional lifeforms in time prison? Same thing they do in every other prison, only forever.
(in a Rick impression) Wow, <BURP> where do they <BURP> get all these ideas? I guess there was nothing left to steal from Jack Kirby, huh?
Strap in for what's ultimately a small-scale series that manages to feel huge thanks to MASSIVE ANIMATED ESTABLISHING SHOTS, like when you WITNESS THE APOCALYPSE OF THIS WORLD, from an empty crater! ENTER AN INFERNAL NIGHTMARE BUREAUCRACY THAT STRETCHES TO INFINITY. Now let's retire to this office! AND WELCOME TO THE VOID AT THE CENTER OF TIME AND REALITY. But, quick! Into that bowling alley!
So, if you're ready to be stuffed with content like a foie gras goose, enjoy the show that gets you ready for a movie (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness), that gets you ready for the next wave of the MCU, that gets you ready for Season 2 of the show, that gets you ready for death. And as long as they keep making B-plus content while keeping every good actor from doing anything original, this machine is going to keep cranking until we're all in Waterworld. Darkest timeline! Whooooo!
Starring: Low Key, On God (Tom Hiddleston as Loki Laufeyson/Variant L1130); Lok Be a Lady Tonight (Sophia Di Martino as Sylvie Laufeydottir); The Setting Crashers (Owen Wilson as Agent Mobius M. Mobius); B.F. Kang's (Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Judge Ravonna Renslayer); The Old Guard (Wunmi Mosaku as Hunter B-15); He Who Rehashes (Jonathan Majors as "He Who Remains"/Nathaniel Richards/Kang the Conqueror); Gators Will Say It's Fake (Alligator Loki); Dramatic Weapon Unsheathing (montage of Loki unsheathing his daggers); Betrayals!
Loki: I'd never stab anyone in the back! That's such a boring form of betrayal.
Sylvie: --Judge Renslayer really feel betrayed by her beloved TVA?
Mobius: I guess you don't do partners. Unless, of course, it benefits you and you intend to... betray them at some point.
Sylvie: How do I know that in the final moments, you won't betray me?
Mobius: You betrayed me!
Renslayer: No, no! You betrayed me!
Loki: You betrayed me!
Mobius: You betrayed me.
Loki: Oh, grow up.
Mobius: You grow up!
Boastful Loki: Apologies, my liege. I betrayed you.
President Loki: About that... (the other Lokis prepare to attack Boastful Loki)
Boastful Loki: You can't be serious.
President Loki: My throne.
Alternate Loki: About that... (the other Lokis prepare to attack President Loki)
...and Hair Flips! (montage of Loki flipping back his hair)
Chrono Trigger
The honest title for Loki was ‘Chrono Trigger’. Titles designed by Robert Holtby.
You know, this never would've happened if Tony Stark had just let Hulk use the elevator. He really is responsible for every bad thing in this universe.
Viewer's Comments[]
Please say: " I am the Voice of Honest Trailers and I am burdened with glorious purpose - Christopher Killian
Please say, "All I ever wanted in this world was Carnage." - Meme Lord
Please say: snap into a slim jim oh yeah - Chris Grey
Trivia[]
Reception[]
Production Credits[]
Voice Narration: Jon Bailey aka Epic Voice Guy
Title Design: Robert Holtby
Written by: Logan Rees, Spencer Gilbert, Danielle Radford, & Lon Harris
Produced by: Spencer Gilbert
Associate Producer: Ryan O'Toole
Edited by: Kevin Williamsen & Randy Whitlock
Post-Production Supervisor: Emin Bassavand
Post-Production Coordinator: Mikołaj Kossakowski
Assistant Editor: Rebecca Castaneda
Director of Video Production: Max Dionne
Executive Producer: Roth Cornet
