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Tech News
California to Uber: Stop Your Self-Driving Cabs Right Now or Else
Just hours after Uber launched a fleet of semi-autonomous cars in San Francisco, state regulators sent the company a letter saying it “must cease” the pilot program on Wednesday, threatening unspecified legal action if they do not, the Associated Press reports. https://gizmodo.com/were-pretty-sure-this-is-a-self-driving-uber-blowing-a-1790117361 The California Department of Motor Vehicles has insisted that Uber needs an autonomous … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Yahoo Says Personal Info of Over One Billion Users Stolen in Latest Fuck Up
Yahoo’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year just got even worse. Just two months after Verizon announced plans to acquire the company, Yahoo announced in September that state-sponsored hackers had stolen the data of some 500 million users. The discovery was made years after the attack, the result of an internal inquiry spurred by … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
FBI’s New Anti-Hacking Campaign Asks Teens To Be Cyber Heroes, Not Cyber Zeroes
This week, the FBI teamed up with Europol to launch a public prevention campaign designed to “raise awareness of the risk of young adults getting involved in cybercrime.” In service of that mission, the law enforcement agencies representing some of the world’s most powerful nations somehow came up with this: If the FBI’s very official-looking … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
‘ASMR Entire Bee Movie‘ Is the Definitive Reading of Jerry Seinfeld’s Masterpiece
In the years since its 2007 release, almost every facet of Bee Movie has been embraced the internet’s meme community. In recent months, we’ve seen Jerry Seinfeld’s interspecies rom-com reordered alphabetically and sped up to incomprehension—even recut to exclude bees entirely. https://gizmodo.com/what-hath-bee-movie-wrought-1789645480 But while the script of Bee Movie has found its way onto a … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Cuisianart Recalls Millions of Food Processors After Customers Find Metal Blades in Food
On Tuesday, Cuisianart issued a voluntary recall of approximately 8 million food processors after 69 customers reported finding shards of metal blades in their food, including 30 cases that resulted in “mouth lacerations or tooth injuries.” The recall covers over a dozen models, all of which feature dicing blades secured by four metal rivets. According … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
PSA: One Mustn’t Vape on the Pizza
As an art form, vaping is still in its infancy, leaving vapers with more questions than answers when it comes to e-cig etiquette. Nevertheless, one rule is already as clear as freshly bottled e-juice: You may not, under any circumstances, vape on the pizza. A recent video by Twitter user Rhett Galvin accurately demonstrates the … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Report: Rick Perry Picked to Lead Energy Agency He Couldn’t Remember the Name Of
While seeking the 2012 Republican nomination, Governor Rick Perry famously proposed abolishing the Department of Energy before forgetting what it was called on live TV, naming it as “Oops” during the GOP debates. As luck would have it, however, Perry will be nominated as Secretary of Oops under President Donald Trump, CBS News reports. Having … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Donald Trump’s Big Tech Summit Is All About Humiliation
In less than two days, executives representing some of Silicon Valley’s biggest companies (including Apple CEO Tim Cook and Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg) will assemble at Trump Tower at the President-elect’s request. Until now, the exact purpose of the gathering has been unclear, but a new Forbes report suggests Trump’s primary motive is just as … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Report: Elon Musk Also Flying to Trump Tower to Kiss the Ring
On Saturday, we learned that Tim Cook and Sheryl Sandberg were among a handful of tech moguls being summoned to Donald Trump’s gilded lair for a mysterious summit this week, but the full roster of invitees remained unknown. Today, The Wall Street Journal revealed another name on the President-elect’s guest list: Tesla and SpaceX CEO … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
io9
Microsoft Bot Makes Your Worst Pop Culture Nightmares Come True
Crossovers are a mainstay of pop culture, but they rarely address the deepest questions posed by their fictional universes. “What if Guy Fieri was Han Solo?” you might ask. “What if the Joker had a beard?” Thanks to a criminally deranged Skype bot named Murphy, you needn’t wonder any longer. According to Microsoft, Murphy is … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Verizon Customers Are Saying They Can’t Send Texts to Other Networks [Updated]
Tuesday evening, multiple Verizon cellphone users began reporting that they were unable to transmit text messages between their phones and numbers associated with other carriers. The reason why was not immediately clear. On Twitter and Reddit, customers in at least half a dozen states complained of texts to or from other networks either not sending … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Judge Judy Plaintiff Wants You to Know She Doesn’t Mess With ‘Meemees’
For many of us, memes (both dank and otherwise) are one of the primary draws of going online, a small glimmer of light in the shadow universe that is the world wide web. This week, however, one Judge Judy plaintiff swore under penalty of TV perjury that she had nothing to do with memes—or, by … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
io9
The Batmobile Lost a Wheel, But What Did the Joker Do?
“Jingle bells, Batman smells / Robin laid an egg / The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker […]” For at least 40 years, children have been altering the lyrics of “Jingle Bells” to comment on the Dark Knight’s olfactory offenses, making the above rhyme a familiar schoolyard chant. Many will be surprised to learn, … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Passport Website Rejects Asian Man’s Photo for Having ‘Closed’ Eyes
Anyone who’s dealt with the complexities of passport photo requirements would probably jump at the chance to have their pics checked online, but automated systems can have their own complications, as a New Zealand man recently learned. 22-year-old Richard Lee was using his country’s online passport checker when he encountered an unexpected error: The website … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Report: Trump Staffer Kicked Off Transition Team for Dumbass Pizzagate Tweets
According to a new New York Times report, Michael G. Flynn, the son of Donald Trump’s national security advisor, has been booted from the President-elect’s transition team for tweeting about Pizzagate, the idiotic online conspiracy theory that led a gunman to “self-investigate” a D.C. pizzeria this weekend. https://gizmodo.com/cops-shooter-arrested-at-dc-pizzeria-was-there-to-inve-1789671995 Flynn and his father, retired Lt. Gen. … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
If You Want Him to Put Down the iPad, You Must Become the Pony
Each day, millions of parents try to limit their children’s screen time, but the allure of TVs and tablets seems almost impossible for some kids to resist. Thankfully, there’s now a solution to this daily struggle: You simply become The Pony. At least, that’s the argument made by the creators of “Pony Up Daddy,” a … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Theranos Can’t Even Send a Goddamn Email Right
At this point, it would almost be bigger news if blood-testing startup turned blood-testing fuck up Theranos managed to do something right. Nevertheless, the company continues to amaze, somehow outdoing every embarrassing error with an even dumber and more painful blunder. https://gizmodo.com/theranos-cant-do-a-single-goddamn-thing-right-1785975554 Today, that blunder is “failing to conceal the recipients of a group email,” … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Scientists Shoot Lasers at Bird in Goggles to Unravel the Mysteries of Flight
Even when unlocking the very secrets of the universe, one must always put safety first. That’s why researchers at Stanford University 3D-printed a pair of tiny safety goggles before teaching a parrot to fly through lasers. “We would never walk through a laser sheet without any protection,” said assistant professor David Lentink, whose lab studies … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
BMW Remotely Locks Stolen Car With Alleged Thief Still Inside
Last week, a suspected thief’s getaway vehicle turned into his jail cell when BMW employees managed to track and remotely lock a stolen car in Seattle, according to police. Authorities say the suspect was prowling cars early last Sunday when he found an unlocked BMW 550i with the key inside and sped away. The owner—who … Continued
By Hudson Hongo -
Tech News
Cops: Gunman Went to DC Pizzeria to ‘Investigate’ Online Conspiracy Theory
According to police, a North Carolina man arrested after firing an assault rifle in a Washington, D.C. pizza parlor this weekend claimed he came there to investigate “Pizzagate,” an online conspiracy theory popularized on Reddit and subsequently banned from the site. Authorities say 28-year-old Edgar Maddison Welch entered Comet Ping Pong pizzeria carrying a gun … Continued
By Hudson Hongo