A guide for working well together.

• Agree Scope

  • Pairing for two hours?
  • Until the ticket is complete?
  • Just get past the bug?

• Agree Physical/Virtual Location

  • Will we both be comfortable here?

• Agree Working Environment

  • Two keyboards?
  • Text editor and other tools.

• Agree Pairing Style

  • Time-based?
  • Ping pong? (writing test for each other to pass)

• Keep the chat going

  • Think aloud.
  • Encourage/support.

• Keep switching

  • Follow the pairing style.

• Keep both involved

  • "Could we do this another way?"

• Keep breaking

  • Have a break, have a… (KitKat)

• Keep checking in

  • "Could we search for a guide separately?"

• Share with each other the end results

  • such as code changes and/or screenshots, if they're not already accessible by both parties.

• Ask for Feedback

  • What did we do well?
  • What could we have done better?
  • It’ll feel weird, do it anyway.

You can download a double-sided printout of these guides to display in your meeting rooms.

• Be kind

  • Treat each other with respect.

• Introduce everyone

  • Don't assume everyone has met before.
  • Introductions help break the ice and give an opportunity for voices to be heard.

• Pay Attention

  • Be present with others during a meeting
  • But also engage and communicate in the way you feel most comfortable.

• Be respectful of others' schedules

  • Try to start and end meetings on time.

• Step up, step back

  • After you speak, let others speak.
  • If you are speaking often, make sure others have had a chance to say something.

• Practice feeling comfortable with silence

  • We commonly feel the urge to fill in the voids of silence.
  • Gaps in conversation are not necessarily bad, and they allow people to have time to think and step up when they feel comfortable speaking.

• Apply the Shine Theory

  • Notice if someone is being cut off or ignored.
  • Help shine the light back on that contributor by repeating their idea, giving clear support and credit to its source.

• Give credit

  • Acknowledge input from others and highlight contributors.
  • Show encouragement and, if you agree with something, call it out.
  • Ensure that even the quiet voices are heard and supported.

• Why am I talking?

  • Make sure that the thing you're about to say has notalready been said.
  • Consider if your voice is dominating the conversation.
  • Write down all of your ideas before and/or during the meeting. At the end of the meeting, speak on any ideas that have not already been brought up by others.
  • If you're speaking on something that has been brought up but overlooked, say that you're amplifying an under-represented idea and give the idea's originator credit.

• Clarify what you hear

  • "What I heard you say was..."
  • "My feedback for that is..."

• Speak as I

  • Try to speak from the "I" perspective.
  • Don't speak for others.

• Disagree

  • You don't have to agree with everybody, but be aware of how you frame your feedback.
  • Criticize the idea, not the person.

• Everyone can participate

  • Assuming someone doesn't want to participate can be exclusionary.
  • Give people the opportunity to decline an invitation.

• Speak up

  • Follow up if team members treat others disrespectfully.
  • If you don't feel comfortable addressing someone directly, speak with your manager or Chief People Officer.

• Cultural Diversity

  • In a diverse workplace, people will have diverse cultures, accents and forms of speech, and this is totally fine.
  • Always try to make communication as clear as possible.
  • Avoid whenever possible:
    • Using slang when talking about an important subject.
    • Ambiguous phrases or words with multiple meanings.
  • Prioritize whenever possible:
    • Short, direct sentences over long sentences.
      • Here's a good example by pudding.cool.
    • Using simple words, as people are more used to them.
    • Making sure that others feel comfortable taking more time to express their thoughts.
    • Speaking slowly
      • It helps both native and non-native speakers to understand each other better.
    • Taking a brief pause when changing subjects
      • To make sure that the information isn’t getting mixed up.
    • Be understanding regarding whether others initiate or are comfortable participating in "small talk".
      • If they do initiate it, and if you're comfortable, then it's encouraged to participate.
    • Use platforms that provide automatic closed captions.
    • Developing awareness of when particular phrasing might be perceived by others as harsh, and err on the side of being more flowery.
      • Likewise, if others use language that you perceive as harsh, consider that it might be a cultural difference, and consider asking for further clarification.
    • Be explicit rather than implicit with regards to expressing emotions or intent, especially in text-based communication.
      • Emojis and tone tags can be helpful.
      • When others' intent is not explicit, assume positive or neutral intent instead of negative intent.

• Be mindful of power dynamics

  • Be aware of power dynamics that may be present in the meeting, such as those based on race, gender, or seniority.
  • Ensure that all participants have an opportunity to share their perspectives, respectfully disagree, and that their contributions are valued equally.
  • If you are in a position of power, consider speaking last to ensure that others have an opportunity to share their perspectives.

• Documentation

  • Share what was discussed after the meeting with your team.
  • Documenting meetings is in line with the flexibility of asynchronous work.
  • Record the meeting if possible.
  • If recording isn't possible, have a designated note taker and rotate the position.

• Share the Plan

  • Let everyone know ahead of time what they can expect.
  • Create a calendar invite with links to the video call and dial-in information (if applicable)
  • Create a meeting agenda or note about what the meeting will cover.

We've compiled some guidelines from various sources to help people feel included and valued during remote meetings that happen over video conferencing software.

• Time zones

  • Consider time zones when scheduling meetings.
  • Is the meeting time respectful of everyone's work schedule?

• Environment differences

  • Be mindful of everyone's environments, including your own.
  • Mute yourself when not talking to minimize background noise.
  • Confirm that everyone on your team can hear and understand you clearly.
  • Consider calling in if you have an unreliable internet connection.
  • Be understanding of interruptions that may happen with remote work.
    • e.g. children, pets, other people who might be sharing space with your teammate.

• Video Optional

  • Everyone has different privacy needs when it comes to video conferencing.
  • Don't require participants to turn their camera on.
  • Encourage the use of virtual backgrounds.

• Share the mic

  • Make sure everyone who wants to has an opportunity to speak.
  • Be on the lookout for raised hands and folks who unmute their mics, they may be trying to speak without interrupting.
  • Use the chat for questions and have someone monitor the chat to make sure all questions are addressed.
  • Be mindful of those dialing in by phone, as they might not have access to certain software features (e.g. hand raising).

• Meeting Recordings

  • Indicate ahead of time that the meeting or portions of the meeting will be recorded. This gives others the opportunity not to attend.
  • Only record the meeting once you have consent from all participants.
  • Let people know when the recording has started and when it has finished.

• Audio Transcriptions

  • Some people may want to use meeting transcription software to transcribe and summarize online meetings.
  • Before activating the transcription software let everyone know you are planning to use the transcription software for the meeting and only do so once you have consent from all participants.
  • Some people may not be comfortable with the transcription software because data will be sent to a third-party service.
  • Let people know when the transription has started and when it has finished.

Guidelines adapted from Paradigm's Remote Inclusion Checklist

We've compiled some guidelines from various sources to help people feel included and respected during meetings in person.

• Remote matters

  • Listen for and solicit input from members joining in-person meetings remotely so their voice is heard.
  • Ensure the space is set up so everyone can see each others' faces.
  • Enunciate and speak loud enough so that members joining remotely can hear you clearly.
  • Consider time zones when scheduling your meeting.

• One speaker

  • Let one person speak at a time
  • Let them complete their full thought before responding.
  • Don't interrupt.

• Respect physical boundaries

  • Do not make physical contact with someone unless you have their consent.

• Eye contact

  • Try to be aware of others' comfort level with eye contact.
  • Err on the side of less eye contact.

At thoughtbot, we strive to make everyone feel included and able to bring their entire self to work. One of the ways we do this is by providing space for people to feel comfortable sharing their pronouns. Pronouns are often shared during introductions and can also be added to your Slack profile, Hub profile, Zoom display name, email signature, etc.

An important aspect of making everyone comfortable is keeping in mind that sharing pronouns is ALWAYS optional. A person may have many reasons they don’t want to share pronouns. Gender identity is a complex and personal subject and not everyone is comfortable addressing it at work.

While we don’t require sharing pronouns, the widespread practice of sharing them can make people feel pressured to share their own. Here are some guidelines for reducing that pressure:

• Never ask someone directly what their pronouns are.

  • If you’d like to create an opportunity to share, you can share your own, but leave it up to individuals to decide whether they want to share.

• When proposing round robin introductions, don’t include pronouns in the list of things you’re asking people to share.

  • “Share your name, your role, and your favorite breakfast food” is more inclusive than “Share your name, your role, and your pronouns.” Individuals can choose whether or not to include their pronouns in their introductions.

• If you don’t know someone’s pronouns and they haven’t proactively shared them, don’t assume.

  • Use their name or “they/them” if you need to.

• Sometimes people’s pronouns change.

  • If a person introduces themself with pronouns that are different from what they used previously, there’s no need to comment on the change.

• When everyone in a meeting or group shares their pronouns every time, it can implicitly ‘out’ a person who is the only one not sharing their pronouns.

  • If you’re comfortable, you can help by occasionally not sharing your pronouns, especially when the majority of the group is sharing theirs.
  • This can normalize the idea that pronouns are optional and opting out doesn’t imply a specific identity.

• If you’re asked to share your pronouns and you’d rather not, you do not need to provide an explanation.

  • A simple “I’m not sharing my pronouns today” or “I’m fine with you addressing me by my name.” is enough.

• If someone has shared their pronouns with you, think carefully before sharing their pronouns in other contexts, especially when such information might be publicly visible.

  • That person may only be comfortable with specific people (for example, their team, a specific group, specific individuals, or only coworkers) knowing their pronouns, or it could put them in danger to be outed (for example, if their housing is dependent on a transphobic person who might evict them upon learning that they're trans).
  • If possible, ask in advance how they would like to be referred to; if not possible, try to imagine what they would say based on what you know about them and their relationships with you, the people you're talking to, and the broader world.