Tom Sandoval promises to never 'cheat that way again'... implying he'll find other ways of cheating?

Tom Sandoval is, like, sorry, and stuff, dudes.

It's been a hard year for L.A.'s least working man since he apparently cheated on us all with Raquel Leviss, blowing up his nine-year relationship with fellow Vanderpump Rules cast member (and Broadway's latest Roxie Hart) Ariana Madix.

And he's learned... well, something. Definitely something.

On The Bachelor alum Nick Viall's The Viall Files podcast, Sandoval and his better half, bff Tom Schwartz, discussed the fallout of #Scandoval, with its namesake revealing it was his own "low self-worth" that caused him to step out on Ariana.

"Somebody like Raquel — somebody who's in her 20s, like, doin' essentially the f---in' whipped cream f---in' bikini thing like in Varsity Blues — like, I couldn't f---ing like, I was like, 'Wow, really? Oh my God, like, I'm attractive to somebody?'" Sandoval articulated.

"And I regret it, hardcore, I really do," he added, noting that the only way to get past his mistake is to "learn from it."

Learn what, exactly? Inquiring minds, and Viall specifically, wanted to know.

"I don't know, dude. I'm just trying to be a better person, I swear to God, like, I really am," Sandoval replied to Viall. "Like, I don't know what to say. What have I learned? What have I learned?! To not ever do that again. To not ever be in a nine-year f---in' relationship and end it that way. To not ever, like, cheat that way. Like, dude, I'm never gonna do that. That's never gonna happen."

Again, Viall asked the logical question: "What do you mean 'cheat that way'? When you say 'cheat that way,' it implies that you might cheat a different way," the host wondered aloud.

"To have an affair, to have an affair!" Sandoval clarified.

Okay, great... but why not just say "to never cheat again, period"? Because the wording just leaves the possibility for — You know what? Never mind. Good for him. Let's say he's trying and move on. There's a new season of Vanderpump Rules he's got to deal with.

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• Susan Lucci leads an all-star cast in a live reading of the Vanderpump Rules 'Scandoval' episode
• Matt Rogers celebrates Vanderpump Rules for EW's Entertainers of the Year: It's 'television's greatest reality show'
• Tom Sandoval says his friendship with Tom Schwartz is 'stronger than ever' after cheating scandal