An 'engraged' Jem Hussain-Adams gave an unaired 'F--- you' move after being blindsided on Survivor

Jem Hussain-Adams was super sneaky when it came to Beware Advantages on Survivor 46, rehiding the clue on the one she found so that her Siga tribemates wasted hours upon hours digging for an idol that was not there. But the international brand mentor was considerably less stealthy when it came to lying to her tribemates about whose side she was on.

Jem (unsuccessfully) tried to convince Ben Katzman and Tim Spicer that she was in their alliance and to tell her for whom they were voting. It didn’t work, but what really did Jem in was when people she thought were firmly in their camp — Maria Shrime-Gonzalez and Charlie Davis — instead went with the fellas and voted her out of the game. Making the blindside even more brutal was the fact that Jem was holding an unplayed hidden immunity idol in her pocket as she had her torch snuffed.

We spoke to Jem the morning after her televised ouster to get the skinny on what went wrong and when she’s getting her big Siga tattoo.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You looked pretty shocked. Tell me what was going through your mind as you kept seeing your name pop up at Tribal Council.

JEM HUSSAIN-ADAMS: I didn't think for a second that would happen. I thought I had a solid alliance. This alliance was made on day two and we took time out of every single day to check in to make sure it's still okay. We would check in as a group, we would check in individually, and so we had it going on and not in my slightest, wildest thought did I think that they were thinking about other people. Because there was so much happening that I was like, “There's no way they wouldn't work with myself and Mo.”

I saw my name the first time and I was like, “No, no, no, no, no, you should have played your idol.” And I was like, “Why didn't I?” And then I thought to myself: There's no way I could have known to play my idol that I was going to get voted out. But then I got up and I couldn't see anything and I was looking around for my bag and everything and then I got my torch and I went to Jeff and I just blacked out. I didn't see him say anything.

I was just enraged. And it didn't show, but my final thing while I was walking out is I said, “Have fun!” It was like a f--- you to everybody else. I wish they had shown that because it was not like a normal “Have fun.” I'm walking out and I was like: You've got to say something. You're going to look like a salty bitch on TV. Then I was like, “Have fun!”

So you were pissed.

So pissed. I was enraged. I was just livid.

Who were you pissed at?

Myself.

Really?

I honestly was because before I went into the game, I wrote some notes: "This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for someone like you. Nobody in my family or anybody will ever have this opportunity. Go in, don't ruffle feathers. Look at people, look at the way they move." And for the first Tribal I wrote, "If you have an idol, play it, because you never know where the alliance stands.” I was like, "You might trust, but if you have an idol, play it, because then you'll know where the alliance stands and you can do damage control after.”

But I didn't listen to myself because I was so sure about where my alliance stood and I was like: You know what? If I tell them now and it was my name, then I would get s--- for what I made them do for the last six days. They would just vote me out next Tribal. And since nobody knew that I had the idol and nobody could ever think that I was the one doing this, I was like, let's not do that. And my intuition failed me, so I was upset at myself.

How tough has it been replaying it over the past nine months and going right before the merge where there's a big reset on the game?

Yeah, if I had made it one more and to the next one, it would've been over. Because what I was planning on doing — what you guys saw was a snippet of what I wanted to do in this game — I wanted to play tough and I wanted to just take every opportunity and not play safe. I think if you're going to play, you're just going to have to play. Don't wait until the merge to start playing, because then it's an individual game. How can you start from the beginning and have a strong game throughout? I think a lot of people wait till the merge.

But for the last few months, I've been busy with work and I've been mostly working internationally and haven't had time to think about it. And so once it started showing, I was like: Okay, I have five weeks. That's a long time. And then yesterday I was like: What the hell? It’s tomorrow! And that's when it really hit and I was like: I don't think I'm okay. I don't know what they're going to show because I know there's so much more that happened and so much more that was said.

And I was like, I hope they show this. I hope they don't show that — because if they showed a certain portion it would be the wrong thing to show on my vote-out episode for me. personally. And I was really in my head about it, so my husband had to console me and be like, “It's okay, I'm proud of you.” But I watched it early this morning — I'm in France right now — and then I was like, "Okay, it's good."

Was there anything they didn't show that you wish we seen either in this last episode or any episodes before that?

I told my personal journey, and I know a lot of people think, “Oh, it's sob stories,” and all they see are sob stories about the contestants. But the story that I told was about my upbringing. I grew up in a domestic abusive family, and two years ago I lost a sister from domestic abuse. And so the night before we lost the challenge, I told my tribe about it, and they were like, “Oh, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.”

But it was more like: Don't feel sorry for me, don't pity me. I came to play a game and that's why, even from the beginning, I was playing without people knowing. I also kind of messed up in that way of telling them because it also was like, “Okay, if Jem has overcome all of this, we can't let her get to the merge. If she gets to the merge and she links up with other people who also had a rough life or upbringing, she's not going to vote with us.” And that was one of the problems.

Are you surprised Maria used both her votes on you even though they already had the numbers?

Yeah, I knew it when I read the votes and I saw the different names and the different handwriting. I know who called me Jemila, I know who called me Jem. and I know who called me Gem, like the gemstone. And because I knew Ben didn't have a vote, when I saw four votes I was like: You would literally use your vote on me? That's wild. I'm honored. It's an honor to be blindsided, but guess what? It is even a better honor to have two votes put on you — before you even make it to the merge. Girl, you could have saved that vote, you could have used it in the merge because Tevin knows you have one. Tevin still has his vote. So, I'm honored to have that

You said you felt so comfortable with your alliance. Did you ever come close to telling Moriah or Maria about the beware advantage?

Hell no. I would never. It was something that I said to you in pregame, that my idol is my idol and it's nobody's idol. And if I go back today I would do the same thing. My idol is my idol. It's on a need-to-know basis and they don't need to know. But I guess when you think in hindsight, two things have crossed my mind and could have worked out.

If I had told them about my idol, maybe they would've kept me in the game, but I would've had to tell them about my idol before I made them do all that crazy s--- of digging up a tree. Because after that happened, I would've gotten voted out regardless. It would've been like: Okay, she's playing stuff like that. Kudos to those who tell people about their idol, but it's a game, and sometimes you have to keep some ammunition to use later on. Unfortunately for me, that didn't work.

When you then had to measure out all those things, dig for the key, and then go back to the box to get your idol, were there any close calls in terms of getting caught?

That wasn't half of it. I read some stuff about “Jem has small math.” Okay, I didn't go to college and I went to high school years ago. I'm 32, okay. I forgot what a perimeter was. Let's begin there. When I was reading it, I tossed the pencil because I was wearing really tight stuff that day. I was like: Okay, can't have a pencil, toss it out. So it was all mental math at that point. And so I was like, "What is a perimeter? I don't even know." So I started with circumference and radius and then I was like, “Perimeter, you add every side!”

And that's when I started running around like a crazy person measuring everything. And then the scene that you see with Ben and I is when I was about to dig up the ground. So I was already really scared and I had my machete. I needed my machete to measure. In the moment, you're not thinking, "Oh, let me chop a piece of stick that's the same length as the machete so I don't run around with the machete scaring people." But they used to call me “Machete Queen,” so I was like, it's okay, I can have the machete. Nobody would care about it.

So I was about to do the digging and he showed up and then I was like, “Alright, just tell me who you want me to vote for. I want to vote with you.” I am just trying to get him to go away! And I know it seemed very aggressive, but it was just me like, “Get the f--- away from me. I need to find my idol. I don't have my vote.” So it was more like that instead of, “Who do you want to vote?”

Why do you think Maria and Charlie decided to side with the fellas instead of the ladies?

If I knew, I'd win a million dollars. I'll say that. So what really hurt me after I got voted out is the fact that I was a provider for the tribe, which they didn't show. My tribe knew nothing about food. They didn't even know the smallest about coconuts. I got them every food, anything. We got papayas, we’d cook 'em. We had gourmet papaya. We'd literally cook it and put a little bit of sand for crunch in it.

They were fed. And that's why you didn't hear Siga complaining about food, because they were fed from the very beginning. They were fed and it's all because of me: I provided all the food. And so I feel like in the new era, there's not much of a place for providers, but I thought they would also show that to show a woman can be a provider of a tribe. They often show just men being the providers of the tribes. I was like, maybe they'll show that. But they didn't.

So I was really sad that I trusted them. I provided for them a lot of times. I consoled them and made them feel warm and fuzzy and we shared very, very deep conversations. As you know, I told them my story the night before I got voted out. And so to know all of that and still know who I am and what my purpose is to get the money, and they still decided to go with the other tribe, that definitely hurt me. That's the one thing that I couldn't wrap my head around. I think Charlie wanted to work with Ben from what it looked like, and he convinced Maria. But yeah, I couldn't tell you.

Have you gotten your Siga tattoo yet?

Hell no. I'm not getting that s---. Siga tattoo? Not on this body. Maybe after I go back and play and I have a tribe that…. Because, Dalton, I wanted to play a loyal game, no matter the shenanigans. I'm a loyal person. I thought the four of us were going to make it to the end, because I want to play with people that want to duke it out at the end. You played a great game. I did. Let's see who the people want to give the money to.

I don't want people that are going to get dragged or drag me. No. I want people that are playing, and I thought the four of us were going to play. We're going to make it to the merge. We're going to literally, like I said, cut everybody's throat and then make it to the end and duke it out. But nope, that didn't happen. So sorry. No Siga tattoo.

How long did you get to hold onto the immunity idol before production took it away from you?

They took it away immediately. I was like, “Am I going to get that back?” And they're like, “No.” I was like, “Do you understand how many problems I went through to get that? I literally looked like a crazy person on TV for that!” Oh, also the Tim conversation didn't happen that day. That happened when I had them digging. So it wasn't like, “Oh, Jem is a crazy person.” At the end, everybody's like, “She's too aggressive.” No, that happened days ago.

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