Talk:Ala al-Dawla Bozkurt/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Aintabli (talk · contribs) 03:01, 29 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Cplakidas (talk · contribs) 20:54, 27 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Will take this on over the following days. Constantine ✍ 20:54, 27 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Cplakidas: Hi Constantine, hope you're doing well. It's been a bit since you left the comment, so wanted to offer a gentle nudge. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 20:45, 30 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Did quite a few copyedits for prose style and added some links, to avoid going through every small change here. Feel free to revert/discuss below.

Lede

was the ruler of Dulkadir from late 1480 until his death please provide some localization, e.g. 'ruler of Dulkadir in southeastern Anatolia'
Done
In response, Bozkurt besieged Malatya... In response to what? It might be redundant IMO.
It would be in response to the Mamluks' protection of Cem Sultan, but I removed "in response".
Ali is given as successor, but in the Battle of Turnadağ article the Dulkadirid beylik is shown as being annexed as a sanjak with Ali as an Ottoman sanjakbey.
That article is barely sourced. Sources do not seem to have a clear view on the status of Ali within the Ottomans. Yinanç, one of the most prominent sources on this topic, refers to the Dulkadirids as "independent or autonomous" on page 105. But as a future note, I may fill this gap with more sources on the subject. Aintabli (talk) 21:11, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Background

Relink Turkmen to Turkoman (ethnonym)?
Since the term is presented as an alternative for Oghuz, I believe linking the ethnonym would be more appropriate if the term is specifically being discussed. Let me know if you disagree.
The start of Budak's second reign is given in the regnal dates as 1472, but Suwar's is shown ending in 1473.
That is likely a typo. I do not remember any sources that list it as 1473. (Venzke, the cited source here, shows 1472 as the end date.) Aintabli (talk) 16:35, 9 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The lede is a bit short and scarcely covers some sections, especially 'First Ottoman–Mamluk War'.

Early life

Bozkurt was born in 1428. mention his parentage and his relationship to Suwar and Budak
Five years later, Bozkurt returned to the Ottoman realm following the crushing defeat of Shah Suwar by the Mamluks when was this exactly? The previous chronological mentions are insufficient for the reader to determine this. Also, what was the reason he returned to the Ottoman domains?
after raiding in the region of Sivas, Bozkurt's wife and son were captured by the sanjak-bey Mihaloghlu Ali Bey the wording suggests that Bozkurt's wife and son were doing the raiding, is that correct? Is this Ali the same as Mihaloğlu Ali Bey? The context of this episode is also a bit unclear: where was Bozkurt at the time? The last mention is that he was in Ottoman lands, so why would Ali attack his family? It should also be mentioned that Ali was an Ottoman commander, and a gloss provided to sanjak-bey and sanjak.
Mehmed II strove to enthrone Bozkurt after he received an unfriendly response from Qaitbay when he brought up his earlier promise of leaving his realm to the Ottomans in exchange for their help against Shah Suwar. who are the 'he' and 'his' here? I cannot understand who promised what.
Gloss kapıcıbaşı, jereed
to be played with them with the heads as targets, presumably? On the other hand, who sent their heads to Cairo...them is somewhat superfluous for this article.
though the historians of that time did not disclose the date of the encounter between the brothers hmmm, this suggests that it was deliberately not 'disclosed'. Why not simply, 'the exact date of the battle is unknown'?
Who is Ibn Tulun?
who lost the throne sometime before this date if he already requested entry into Mamluk lands in March 1480—almost a year earlier—is that not obvious? And what was he doing in the meantime?
failure to show up to defend the Mamluks at which occasion exactly?
Is there a link for Sayrafi?

First Ottoman–Mamluk War

granted the Mamluks various towns in northern Syria presumably in order to get recognition of his rule?
afraid of getting killed why and by whom?
simultaneously maintain amicable relations with the new Ottoman sultan the counterpart to the Ottoman sultan is missing here. 'simultaneously maintain amicable relations with the Mamluks and with the new Ottoman sultan'?
While trying to extinguish the revolt if Cem was fleeing, was the revolt not already over?
intended him to directly deal a blow to the state's southern neighbor who is the subject and who 'him' here?
A frontier cannot dissipate. 'Weakening', 'collapsing', or simply 'under threat'?
500 royal expeditionary forces what does this mean?
Gloss beylerbey, amīr silah
Who is Turgudoghlu Mahmud Pasha?
Hadım Ali Pasha, the beylerbey of Karaman, reported of the Mamluk forces stationed around Aleppo as well as the offensive led by the Ramadanid Eflatun Beg from the Cilician Plain and the nearby rebellion of Turgudoghlu Mahmud Pasha. The meaning and context are a bit unclear here. The Ottoman annexation of Karaman is not mentioned, and the focus should likely not be on the pasha's report, but on the fact that the Ottoman-Dulkadirid alliance faced a multiple challenge by the Mamluks, Ramadanids, and Turgudoghlu Mamhud's rebels.
decimating parts of the country a country cannot be decimated, a population can. 'Devastating'?
Links for Yakub Pasha, Turgudoghlu Mahmud Pasha, Eflatun Beg?
the first clashes between the rival forces which rival forces? Ottoman and Mamluk ones or were the Dulkadirids involved as well?
Qaitbay mobilized the military in Egypt, which marched north in May[2] or June 1484. Among its ranks were 500 royal mamluks this seems to be a repetition of the previous mention of 500 royal expeditionary forces? Is the chronology accurate?
among whom were governors of Tripoli and Tarsus redundant, as it has been already mentioned
The contemporary historian Idris Bitlisi narrates suggest moving this right after the mention of the defeat

Second Ottoman–Mamluk War

Give a link to the Ottoman–Mamluk War (1485–1491) article
The Mamluks were not entirely successful in their latest victory as they had failed to eliminate Bozkurt. that is redundant, as Bozkurt's escape is already mentioned.
occupied Gülek Castle...Mamluk rule over the Cilician Plain What was the significance of the Gülek Castle? Were the Ottomans masters of the Cilician Plain after they captured the castle, or already after their previous victory at Hirman?

War against Shah Budak

a warning sign to Ala al-Dawla be consistent in calling him either 'Ala al-Dawla' or 'Bozkurt' (or 'Ala al-Dawla Bozkurt' for that matter).
The Ottoman forces were dependent on the naval support...near Ağaçayırı this is IMO too much detail for an article that is not primarily about the Ottomans, the war, or the respective Ottoman or Mamluk commanders. Suggest something simpler like 'The Ottoman forces were defeated by the Mamluks and their Turkmen allies on 16 August 1488 near Ağaçayırı.'
Links for Hiziroghlu Mehmed Pasha, Mihaloghlu Iskender Bey, Janbolat, Saru Kaplan?
in retribution for the treatment his son Feyyaz had received in 1484 this is not mentioned earlier, under the events of that year.
gloss emir-i ahur
aware of the warfare that was to come explain how this led him to stay neutral, especially since in the end there was no further conflict.
Bozkurt allowed a larger army under Akbirdi's command in an attempt to seize Aleppo in October the same year what exactly did he allow? And how did Akbirdi, who had no local following, raise an even larger army after his initial defeat? Were these Dulkadirid forces?
The section only deals with Shah Budak half-way through. Maybe retitle it or split off the second half into a new section?

Advent of Ismail

Gloss divan-begi
with a large force composed of almost all of the young members of the Dulkadir dynasty surely the forces was not just composed of dynasty members, but rather led by or at least containing them as well?
Ismail entered the Ottoman domains through Erzincan and Suşehri with Bayezid's approval. To do what? Attack the Dulkadirids?
The miniature shows Alvand at Bozkurt's court, but nothing like this is mentioned in the text. Is the image poetic license, or is something missing?
accommodated Kaitmaz accommodated is probably the wrong verb here? What exactly did he do?
Introduce Erdivane as Bozkurt's son

War with the Ottomans and death

Add regnal dates for Selim I and Qansuh al-Ghawri
Bozkurt had not sent any congratulatory messages to Selim for his ascension to the throne can you elaborate on the meaning of this? Is this an implicit non-recognition of Ottoman suzerainty, which Selim expected, or merely a diplomatic insult?
any kind of subsistence what exactly is subsistence? Are foodstuffs meant, or trade generally?
the Dulkadirids destroyed the accommodations of the Ottoman army which accommodations? Where? Surely not in Dulkadirid territory, which means the Dulkadirids invaded Ottoman territories?
departed for Elbistan departed from where?

Administration

Briefly gloss sharia, timar, tahrir defters

General

Emir al-Muminin is amir al-mu'minin, a caliphal title, so it at least should be discussed at least somewhat more; at the very least, its elevated significance should be pointed out.
De Giorgi and Eger, Melvin-Koushki, Muslu, Peirce, and Petry are listed as sources but not referenced. This makes over half the modern sources listed here, raising questions concerning points 2 and 3 of the GA criteria, especially in view of the almost exclusive reliance on Yinanç and Har-El, sources which, though academically excellent, are by now a generation old.

That's it for a first pass. Constantine ✍ 13:47, 8 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]