More than half of Americans say ‘alone time’ is essential to their mental well-being, survey finds

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Holiday gatherings have a way of amplifying everyone’s quirks.

I was looking forward to hosting my parents for a week during Thanksgiving, but in the limited space of a one-bedroom apartment, navigating everyone’s differences was rather challenging.

My mom, who once poured herself into creating elaborate holiday traditions, has recently embraced a more relaxed approach to celebrations compared to the rest of my family members.

My sister, the ever-dedicated kitty parent who lives one floor above me, refused to leave her cat alone after a recent bladder surgery, ensuring someone was always on hand to care for her.

Meanwhile, my dad — the lone male in a household full of women — occasionally earned himself gentle scolding for being too loud or inattentive during important conversations.

As for me, my family would probably say I could work on being less sensitive when a new recipe I attempt doesn’t go as planned.

By the end of each day, we were all lovingly craving a little personal space and quiet time. While asking for time apart can feel awkward, I’ve learned that it’s essential for maintaining the strong bonds my family shares.

I’m certainly not alone in this sentiment; many people find themselves needing a balance of social interactions during the holidays. Forty-six percent of Americans say they get less alone time during the holidays, according to a new survey commissioned by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center and College of Medicine, released on Tuesday.

“We have a lot of input, demands and stress in general that is elevated during the holidays, so it is extra important to be attentive to your need for alone time,” said Sophie Lazarus, a clinical psychologist in the department of psychiatry and behavioral health at Ohio State and one of the survey’s developers and reviewers.

The survey, conducted in early October with 1,004 respondents ages 18 and older, also revealed that 56% of respondents believe time alone is critical to their mental well-being.

Assessing what alone time means for you

Alone time can vary greatly from person to person. For some, it’s simply about being physically away from people, while for others, it’s the ability to disconnect when alone, according to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist and Emerita Professor of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles.

To figure out whether alone time energizes or depletes you, Durvasula suggests dedicating a full day or weekend to just yourself and observing how it affects your emotions.

If you feel rejuvenated after taking time to yourself, prioritize carving out more alone time into your schedule. However, if solitude feels draining, it might be a sign to lean into social connections more frequently.

To unwind while alone, Lazarus suggests activities including journaling, meditating, exercising and listening to music to help replenish yourself and be more present when reconnecting with others.

Navigating holiday alone time

Although time alone is critical for emotional regulation, it can still be challenging to step away when surrounded by loved ones you don’t see frequently.

“Sometimes people think that they’re being antisocial or unfriendly if they want downtime and they’re worried about hurting people,” Durvasula said.

But taking time to disconnect at family celebrations can prevent minor frustrations from overshadowing meaningful connections. In fact, 36% of people say they are more irritable because they don’t get enough alone time, the survey found.

“We often don’t get to turn down the volume on that constant state of social monitoring and social calibration,” Durvasula said.

However, there are subtle ways to integrate time alone without formal requests, such as taking a walk, running a solo errand or waking up early for a moment of peace before everyone else starts their day. Lazarus also suggests taking a few extra minutes to wash your hands or breathe deeply in your car before heading into an event to reset your mind.

For those who want to reconnect with family and friends while also unplugging after what might have been an exhausting year, striking a balance can be difficult, said Dr. Fallon Goodman, assistant professor of psychological and brain sciences at George Washington University in DC.

But she also notes that specific holidays might lend themselves to alone time. “On New Year’s Eve, for example, people reflect back on wins, challenges, and losses from the prior year and set goals to enter the new year with purpose and resolve,” she said via email.

Personalizing your approach

Everyone has a different social battery, so some loved ones might resist if you ask for time apart. “Be prepared that sometimes people will push back when you set a limit around (availability),” Durvasula said.

The recommendation for alone time is also not a one-size-fits-all approach. “Instead, it is critical to tailor socializing strategies based on personal preferences and energy needs,” Goodman said.

Older adults are significantly less likely to agree that alone time is important, according to the survey, and Lazarus emphasizes that for those who are already feeling lonely, connecting with others is usually the right choice.

“The bigger picture is to be attentive to your mental health and emotional experience to decide what (amount of alone time) would be most helpful,” Lazarus said.