Last Call Review of draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20
review-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20-genart-lc-dupont-2019-07-01-00
review-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20-genart-lc-dupont-2019-07-01-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 20190633 IETF LC End Date: 20190626 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Ready Major issues: None Minor issues: None Nits/editorial comments: - 1 page 3: the IT abbrev is not introduced - 2.1 page 5 (bundle), page 9 (slotOffset), 4.61 page 38 (2.): i.e. -> i.e., - 2.1 page 6 (chunk): missing closing parenthesis - 2.1 page 9 (Track): the text says the root is the destination. IMHO the DODAG has an unique leaf which is the destination? - 3.1 page 12: please expand the PCE abbrev here (first occurrence, note the expansion is in 3.3. page 15: you can move or duplicate it). - 3.2 page 14: the 6LBR ... need -> needs - 4.2.2 pafge 25 figure 6: there are multiple arrows for the RS. I believe it is a way to figure multicasting? - 4.3.1.1 page 27, 4.3.3 page 29, 4.5.3 page 35 (3 times), 4.7.1.2 page 42: e.g. -> e.g., - 4.6 page 37: one or more destination(s) 6TiSCH node(s) -> one or more destination 6TiSCH nodes Spelling: - 1 page 3: undated -> updated - 4.1.1 page 21: settig -> setting - 4.3.3. page 29: infoirmation -> information - 4.3.3 page 29: behaviour -> behavior - 4.4 page 33: multithop -> multihop - 4.7.1.1 page 42: dependant -> dependent - 7.1 page 51: implementaton -> implementation - A page 60 (PAW): Predicatable -> Predictable At the exception of the DODAG root in Track definition there is nothing which can't be done by the RFC Editor so could require a new version. Regards [email protected]