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During this month when we call attention to intimate partner and domestic violence, I would like to take a moment to recognize people who have been affected by a loved one’s gambling problem. On average, 6 or 7 others are affected by someone else’s gambling. It is often those closest to us, those we care the most about, that we lie to and take advantage of. They are our significant others, children, parents, siblings, and friends.
Financial control and abuse are part of domestic violence. It is the most common form of abuse that is reported on CCPG’s helpline. It is harder to identify, as it doesn’t leave cuts, bruises or broken bones, but it can have a devasting effect on well-being. It is much easier to recover from the financial problems caused by gambling than from the betrayal and mistrust of those closest to us.
It is always miraculous when anyone does the work to recover, and this includes all person’s affected. I humbly apologize to those I betrayed. It is often hard for those affected to understand why they need to seek help, in the same way that those with a gambling problem believe they can manage the consequences on their own. None of us asked for this problem, and none of us deserves the consequences. Yet it is where we find ourselves. It is not helpful to look for “why” or assign blame. It is critically important that we all take responsibility for ourselves and find our own path to healing.
Help is available to all person’s affected through the Bettor Choice treatment programs, or at www.gamanon.org.
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