@Kolumbo - @Aalasteir (Q) - Index
Q: What was it like being in film school, and why did you drop out? When did you realize it was a scam, and what didn't you like about film school? Why did you join in the first place?
So as the stereotype usually goes, I watched (still do) a lot of films (movies, sorry America) and wanted to make 'em myself. When I finished highschool and the time came, I didn't get in - which was honestly expected as they take in six people a year, and at least 2 of those 6 are guaranteed nepo-spots. The next time around, I did get in, and for like a week it was great! Getting to know the other students and the professors, talking about stuff that actually interests us, good times. After a while, though, I noticed that nothing we're doing in these classes was of much worth, and some things I fundamentally disagreed with. The moment we were taught how "film analysis" is always correct, no matter the director/writer's intention, and that every analysis of any film is valid - I realized everything was just a show. A joke. It sounds stupid, right, but the implications of this are, for example - I say "Hey did you know Air Buddies was actually a metaphor for growing up homosexual in Iraq" or some shit like that - you must acknowledge that I'm right, because everyone is right. Ridiculous. There were more things like that, but that one remains in my memory as the most idiotic thing I've ever heard in school. So yeah, I bailed - missed out on the remaining 3 years and on good local networking, but remained relatively sane - so it's a "you win some, you lose some" situation. Not that we learned anything useful on the technical side either, at least in that one year (less, to be precise)
Q: What was that one time at band camp?
Well, this one time at band camp...
Q: Why are people on the Internet?
Back in the day I'd say for fun, now it's almost mandatory. Socially, I mean. Everything and everyone are on the internet, it even almost completely replaced good ol' text messages. There's a big chance that even if you don't have any social media accounts, you still use some online chat thing to keep up with people in your life. You just can't escape the internet anymore, no matter how hard you try. If you do manage to not do any of that, you'll still likely get fed second-hand internet slop from the people you know, so yeah - it's mandatory.
Q: Your experiences with the Internet, how did it change over the years from your perspective?
I came in at the tail end of the fun internet stuff; personal websites, blogs, forums, myspace was still a thing, virtual motherfucking pets, all that stuff. While I didn't notice it at the time, as I was young, looking back I can safely say everything turned to shit. The cool stuff disappeared, the whole thing became heavily centralized, the design language has changed drastically for the worse, and Newgrounds rolled into tough times. A lot of it is bland and boring, and a lot of it is the same. Endless scroll, a few ads, some politics, maybe some stuff you care about - rinse and repeat. That's the entirety of the mainstream centralized internet experience. Sure, there exist some efforts to bring creativity back to the internet, but these are perpetually stuck as underground, almost fringe, movements - and that's not looking too good. It makes me happy when I see someone has a wacky personal website or a NeoCities page, you know, we need more of that. I need to get on that.
Q: The story of your username: Kolumbo
A lot of people assume it's because of the show, Columbo, and I think that's funny so let's just roll with that.
Q: How did you discover NG? What made you decide to join the community? Do you feel differently about the site now compared to when you first joined?
Back in like 2005, when I didn't even have internet at home - my dad brought home some USB stick that had a bunch of lil games on it. Some Flash, some not. No idea how, or why he had that, or where he got it - but I found Pico vs. Uberkids on there, and played it a lot. I distinctly remember that a friend and I would make our choice, and then quickly duck under the table so we don't see the shot because it was way too scary! We were like six at the time. In 2008 when we moved, and got internet at home - one of the first things I looked up was that one rock paper scissors game, and I've pretty much been here ever since. Damn, I've been here for more than half of my life at this point.
As to why I joined; who wouldn't? It's fucking Newgrounds!
Q: What is it like growing super-hot peppers and making hot sauce? Also, you have an awesome cat who is the chillest in the universe, but he attacks your peppers. Why do you think he dislikes them?
It's great, I love my peppers and I can't wait for the next grow season!! I've never grown stuff before, so it was a learning process - setting up the drip irrigation system, doing the nylon mulch thing, getting the plants from seed to in-ground stage, actually replanting them.. All of that was new to me, but I did it and I'm glad I stuck with it - I love superhot stuff, so not having to buy it anymore when it's always ridiculously overpriced is a blessing!
Well, he just likes to eat leaves. It's not too bad, he doesn't go after actual peppers - but sometimes he'll get carried away while running towards the field and knock a plant over with his immense strength because he's insane. I forgive him, though, he ends up eating the bugs and stuff too - sort of becoming the pepper protector against his better judgement.
Q: How do you make your own hot sauce?
I'm still learning! It's mostly vinegar-based sauces, but I tried my hand at other types as well, and have been figuring out the right way to use preservatives to further increase shelf life. It's not hard, honestly, it's just boiling/roasting peppers, blending stuff, and straining. Gotta do it outside though, as the vinegar and capsaicin air is absolutely something you don't want in your kitchen. No amount of ventilation will help you. I do like the variety of it all, I've got some chocolate-based and orange-based sauces I made that everyone loves, some even asked to buy them, and I can't wait to make more wacky combinations next year!
Q: What do you like to cook?
Oh man just about everything! Of course, I just wanna grill - but I make everything - I do really dislike making fish stuff though, but I love eating it so a man's gotta do what he's gotta do. My gyros are fucking sick dude, make my own pita bread and everything. I like experimenting with stuff, doing wacky seasoning, or wacky sauces. Something NEW AND WILD, you know. One time I spent 4 months perfecting a sandwich lol
Q: What kinds of games do you enjoy?
I can do a bit of everything. Probably more into turn based stuff, but then again I fucking love Serious Sam so...
Stuff that has a lot of replay value is my usual go to, games that you can return to after a long period and sink another infinite amount of hours into. Sims, strategies, roguelik/tes, stuff like that. With this in mind, my number one game of all time is Heroes of Might and Magic III - literally been playing this one my entire life. Also, I love Sega Genesis games - Zombies Ate My Neighbors is easily one of the best games ever made, fight me.
Q: What have you learned about yourself through creating and writing animations?
That I can't draw lmao but it's cool, I know how to use the software to give the that illusion I can - and I enjoy making stuff, so I usually have fun with it. Also, I've learned that I thrive in crunch time - give me 2 months to do something and I'll fail, give me 2 days for the same thing - no problem!
Q: Where did the idea for NGTV come from?
Finishing up Happy Family 2 last year, I went to look for a Christmas collab to join - as I wanted to do a Christmas thing, but also didn't want to make a whole short again as I was tired from the previous one. There was no Christmas collab, though, so I just kind of said "fuck it" and started my own. The tv theme came from the fact Happy Family 2 was tv-themed, a sitcom thing and all that, so that kind of stuff was on my mind at the time.
Q: What was it like organizing the NGTV Christmas Marathon?
For the first one, I had no idea what I was doing. I expected running collabs was easier than it actually is, given I worked as a producer already. I fucked up putting it together, making every short in it suffer because of that. Sorry guys! Also, when I started the collab, it turned out that there was a tv-themed Christmas collab 2 years prior, and while I don't think either of these projects are wholly original, I contacted the organizer of it asap in order to get his blessing on the project - as I really didn't know about it, and didn't want to have any bad blood between us. We got the blessing, and now here we are, a year later - with a god damn feature!
Hosting this one was easier in some ways, but also tougher in others. For one, I now know what I'm doing so I came prepared and with a plan. Sounds good, right? It worked for the Summer Bash, but I did in no way anticipate the amount of submissions we would receive so I ended up in a similar situation like the first one, panicking and doing everything a lot quicker than I perhaps would've liked - but at least this time around I didn't make any (big) fuckups like the previous year - and am actually happy with how it turned out. Still can't believe that it featured people I've watched and admired growing up, and still do obviously - and am very grateful for the chances they've given me by participating in one of my literally who projects. ALSO WE MADE A FEATURE AYYYYYOOOOOOOOO
Q: And, what inspired The Charlie Brown Christmas Reanimated?
I fucking love Peanuts, man. Genuinely. Honestly, no joke. I love 'em. Mostly the animations, as I haven't had a chance to read many of the strips - but I've seen all the specials and the features. There's just something about their animation, tone, and music that makes it a perfect comfy cartoon. So, since the Christmas special is a Christmas tv staple, and I had a tv-themed Christmas collab on my hands, it was a no brainer - put a tv staple in a tv-themed collab! Somehow (Christmas Miracle™) we actually managed to pull it off over the course of the year - which is a pretty short time for a reanimated collab! Huge thanks to everyone once again!
Q: What was it like making Citizen Pico: Pico's School IV?
Intense! I'm no programmer, and I underestimated the amount of time it'd take, so I ended up cutting a lot of stuff out - and changing planned stuff to be more simple, if mundane, in order to actually get it made! It wasn't all bad though, I had some fun putting it together - doing the little clickable eastereggs/dialogues, all the Troma references, the SoupSquad reference, stuff like that. The story too, even though I started with something completely different in mind, it kind of morphed into this absurd stream of consciousness lolsorandom thing with no afterthought and I think that's exactly what makes it actually work despite the technical drawbacks - I think it makes it feels genuine, like an actual Flash game from the 2000s - and that's what matters the most! Either way, I'll do better next time, leave me alone!
Q: The story of Windowz XP 2012 Professional
Saw that the Flash Forward jam was happening and that the deadline was near, so I figured I'd dust off the old AS2 button knowledge and make a Nene's Interactive Suicide ripoff! When I installed and opened Flash, I got nostalgic, so I went to look through my NG Dump for old files, and got two buddies to do the same. At that point, the project shifted from the aforementioned ripoff to a showcase of stuff we made as kids, and the Windows XP theme seemed appropriate (plus it's the best OS ever made don't even @ me - win7 bros you SUCK) and once I did the basic visuals for the desktop and the .swf icons (which were on the desktop at this point) I just figured that if I'm really doing this whole Windows gimmick, it should have more to it than just the .swf files so I kept adding shit in until there was no more time. Then some more, afterwards, for the update. It was insanely fun and I learned a lot from it! It's also the reason I got to make Citizen Pico - as while I was making the secret minigame I thought "hey, this is probably how Pico's School works" and, well, close enough.
Q: Your advice for creating projects
As @Dr-Freebase once said, somewhere in the forums, "find someone you hate and strive to be better than them!" or something like that. either way, based.
happy new years aal! wait no its not new years yet you're a liar! i'll wish you a happy new years on new years! i take this one back!
