Channing Tatum Has Reached the Thirst-Trap Stage of Grief

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Following his breakup with Zoë Kravitz, Channing Tatum was spotted taking little forlorn walks around Manhattan, otherwise known as the Sad Affleck stage of grief. But as of Wednesday, the 44-year-old seems to have moved on to posting shirtless selfies. Per “Page Six,” the actor gifted his 17.4 million Instagram followers a post-gym thirst trap, writing, “The only fun thing about 7am training sessions is when they are done bro.” He also debuted a “dirt goatee” that he “sort of can’t stand.” But, he’ll have you know, the questionable new facial hair is not the product of a post-breakup metamorphosis but for a character: “lol but it’s a vibe for the movie.”

Tatum knows exactly what he’s doing here. A classic bait-and-switch: Man posts harmless gym selfie lamenting how hard working out is, “bro,” but now all we can think of is the possibility of Channing Tatum grunting, sweaty, and naked.

While ex-fiancé Kravitz has been hanging out with Taylor Swift for eight-hour gab sessions and partying “all night,” Tatum has also been processing his grief through art. Later on Wednesday, he re-posted a bronze sculpture of a donkey-man amalgam by artist Beth Carter with the caption, “Stunning.” He then declared this image of a partially naked woman slung over the trunk of a car — posted by an account called “cheese_hairs” — his “mood.” Nothing to see here! Just an A-list actor with a jawline that could slice a block of marble whose heart is a little broken, okay?