THE PITT NEWS VOLUME 105 ISSUE 113

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Table of Contents

3 | REAL TALK, REAL SEX

Americas sex education
4 | CHAINS & WHIPS
A look at BDSM relationship
5 | ENOUGH TALK
Fly away, birds & bees
6 | NOT JUST A SEX BIBLE
Why womens mags matter
8 | TALK DIRTY TO ME
A sex phone operator gabs
10 | VALENTINES CARTOON
Singles vs. couples
12 | SHAG NOW, OR SHAG LATER?
A conflicted 1960s
15 | NO SEX, NO LOVE
Asexualism & aromanticism
17 | FAITH & FELLATIO
Balance between sex & religion
18 | ALL TEASE, NO CLIMAX
Fifty Shades review hits hard

Letter from the Editor

On a recent cold, snowy Friday night in South Oakland, I was getting ready to leave a friends house for Hemingways.
We walked down the stairs to her empty living room, only to find her 20-inch television overpowered by an enormous, thrifted entertainment center moaning with a porn scene.
My friend has the most basic of basic cable, and maybe five stations on a good day, but the ending of an HBO movie wed watched had
unexpectedly transitioned into a bedroom broadcast during our brief absence.

Her boobs cant really be THAT big!

Ew! What is he doing?
That FACIAL expression!
It felt like a distinctly millennial moment. A couple decades ago, college kids were stowing dirty magazines to hide from mom under
their mattresses, and now a quick Google search from any device can reveal all the visuals of intercourse one could possibly desire.
The purpose of The Pitt News annual Sex Edition, now in its seventh year, has been reiterated by past editors: were illuminating what
most college students are talking about anyway.
This year, the concept we had in mind was that sex isnt glamorous, and its also not socially accepted or safe for everyone in 2015. Over
the past year, weve witnessed historic milestones as courts across the country struck down bans on gay marriage. This spring, prominent transgender activist Laverne Cox will visit campus to speak about challenges sexual minorities face for integration into society. As
schools across the country undergo federal Title IX investigations on sexual assault procedures, were still painfully grappling with the
term consent.
Whether you got the birds and the bees talk or not, youve hopefully realized by now that sex is ubiquitous and if your parents call
you out for being exhibitionary millennials, send them our article on the 1960s. Sex is smeared all over the mass media, engaged in over
the phone and stimulated with toys sold across the city.
Bury it, be explicit or just be real sex is happening in college, probably before and likely after. We want to provide you with candid,
honest depictions of our and your peers experiences with sexual relations, acts and identities. We want to make the universal human
experience that brought us all here a little less taboo.
Enjoy responsibly,
Natalie Daher, Editor-in-Chief

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Sex Education 101:

COLUMN

The effects of abstinence-minded schooling

Danielle Fox
Managing Editor

Call this bona fide nutty, but my friend no life skills for avoiding sexual coer- their sex-ed programs.
from Germany practiced contraceptive cion. This education disparity stems from
These same teens go to college with
use with a wooden penis.
Title V abstinence-only federal funding. this threadbare education.
The hands-on experience was a part of The funding comes with the stipulation
By the time you enter your second
his high school level sexual
year at Pitt, 71 percent
education, not a mahogany Abandon stigma. From bathrooms to bedrooms, embrace safe sex.
of the people in your
fetish. The approach was Theo Schwarz | Visual Editor
class have already made
blunt, but comprehensive
a love boat out of their
sex education sticks with
twin XL beds. Although
the students.
15- to 25-year-olds repAnd maybe it works.
resent only one-quarter
The U.S. teen pregnancy
of the sexually active
rate is almost three times
population, we account
higher than Germanys, acfor nearly half of the
cording to Advocates for
18.9 million new cases
Youth, and the percentage
of STIs each year and
of the U.S. adult populaone-fifth of all new HIV
tion diagnosed with HIV
diagnoses in the United
or AIDS is six times greater
States in 2011, accordthan in Germany.
ing to the Guttmacher
As of this month, 27
Institute.
states currently require
We are the generaan emphasis on abstinence
tion with all the answers
in high school education
at the end of our Google
and dont require teaching
search, but the sex talk
information on preventdoesnt work that way.
ing sexually transmitted
Always be safe, was
infections, according to
the nitty gritty of my
the Guttmacher Instisafe-sex talk. I didnt
tute. Additionally, only 13
know what healthy sex
states require teachers to
looked like outside the
share medically accurate
realm of Seventeen and
information, so your high
Teen Vogue. Although,
school physical education
really, I was reading
teacher could have told you
these magazines to
gum wrappers can spread
decide what clothes to
HIV, if they thought that
put on, not when to take
would scare you straight.
them off.
Pennsylvania is one of
I also didnt fully
the states that needs to
grasp the concept of
clean up its sex act. Our
sexual assault outside
dirty record includes: no
media tropes and the
requirement to discuss
limited good touch,
STIs, the go-ahead to tell students lunch that schools will teach what the state
Fox
7
trays spread HIV; and (like 24 other states) deems proper if they want funding for

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Boy and girl well call them Jack and Jill were playfully
teasing each other one night. Laughing about something Jack
had said, Jill reached across to gently slap his cheek. Jack decided
he couldnt let her get away with it and gave her one right back.
To both of their surprise, they liked it.
The couple met through mutual friends in December 2013.
After weeks of running into each other at bars, they began casually hooking up. Jack fell for Jill first, and spent a few weeks on
the hunt, vying for her attention. Their first date came when
Jack asked Jill to accompany him to his work party. Their second
outing was a trip to Blush.
A few months later, the couple started using chains and whips,
and she began wearing a dog collar around her neck, with a gold
plate around her neck displaying return to Jack if she gets lost.
I wear it 24/7, except when Im at work, which sucks, but
Lauren Rosenblatt
Staff Writer
you know professionalism and all that, she said.
Jack and Jill are in a BDSM relationship. BDSM or bondage,
discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism is
most commonly associated with the kinky sh*t, as Jill put it.
Both are recent Pitt graduates living in South Oakland. Holding nine-to-five jobs, the two have laid-back, go-with-the-flow
attitudes about the future, preferring to spend their time planning their next
sexual adventure.
Although Jill has always enjoyed roughhousing and playing around with
her sexual interactions, this is both Jack and Jills first experience in a BDSM
relationship.
In the 1960s, BDSM portrayals became popular in movies and entertainment,
piquing the curiosity of observers and, consequently, increasing its prevalence.
Now, according to
an article on
Alternet, 50 percent
of the worlds
population has engaged in some
BDSM activity at one point
in their lifetime. Submissiveguide.
com, an online
resource for BDSM participants, lists
more than 30 upcoming BDSM and
kink events across the
U.S.
Jack and Jill dont always look the
part of BDSM participants. Jill has
short, curly hair and is
wearing in
addition to the collar a
modest cardigan with a T-shirt underneath. Jack is wearing a baseball cap, thick, black-rimmed glasses
and a sweatshirt underneath his winter jacket.
A thick, black band, some people have mistaken Jills collar for a style of choker necklace
that was popular in the 90s.
Ive gotten Wow, thats so fashionable, or Ive gotten Why are we wearing a dog collar? I always
tell them [the truth] and theyre like Wow, thank you for being so honest, Jill said.
In addition to the use of sex toys, Jack and Jill said they enjoy taking sex out of the bedroom.
Theyve done the deed in the four major Pittsburgh parks Frick, Schenley, Highland and Riverview
and have their sights set on universities of the area. So far, theyve gotten freaky in classrooms,
bathrooms and stairwells in Carnegie Mellon, Duquesne, Chatham and the Cathedral of Learning.
There is a thrill of getting caught. It certainly adds to the experience, he said.
The power dynamic in their relationship is clear. Jack is the dominant member, or dom, as they
abbreviate it, and Jill is the submissive member, or sub.
Its a 24/7 lifestyle choice, so anything he tells me to do, I will, Jill said. This is where the rules
come in to play.
BDSM
11
Following Jacks every command was an adjustment for

Its a 24/7 lifestyle choice, so

anything he tells
me to do, I will.
-Jill

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Th

ir
b
e

b
e
e
e
h
s
t
: t ales
d
n
a
o
ds

,S
is e

it e r
Wr
f
f
ta

f aw

In our adolescent years, the

specter of the talk loomed large.
W
ex
Everybody knows the talk. You know, the one
Al
where Mom and Dad sit you down because soon, your
body will be going through changes, and thats OK! and finally reveal that an ugly, white bird didnt magically
drop you in a
straw basket on the doorstep. The one where youre forced
to sit in pure anguish as your parents throw around words
such
as penis and vagina as casually as if the topic of conversation
was baseball. The one nobody wanted but everybody
saw coming.
But for how many of us did it actually come?
I, for one, never got the horrific, sit-down,
birds-and-the-bees lesson. My parents abbrevi- a t e d
their version of the sex talk to the much shorter,
Why did you use our rewards card
when
you
bought condoms at the grocery store,
you stu- pid
idiot? talk. Looking back to that moment, I see my
parents as having had three options: A, thank me for the
extra half-cent off gas my purchase had probably earned
them that month; B, have the talk; or C, pretend like
it had never happened.
Seeing as options A and B would have created an even
more awkward
situation, we
collectively
and silently went
with C: Sweep
i t
under
t h e
rug
a n d
n o t talk about it. I
thought I was unique
i n
this regard. After all, everybody gets the talk at
some
point, right?
Apparently not.
This
week, I asked a number
of college students whether or
not theyd
endured some version of this
ghastly experience at some point, and most said they managed
to avoid it. Those who did have some sort of exchange about
sex with their parents said that it was limited to something
terse: Youre a teenager, which means youre having sex, so
youre going to the doctor and getting birth control, or, If
you have a baby, Ill kick your ass.
But, in every situation, it appears that parents are skipping
the scientific segment of the conversation, opting instead to
assume that we already know we werent delivered via Stork
Air and taking what my Catholic school teachers wouldve
called the public school route: guiding young adults toward
safe sex in a hands-off manner letting the kids try to figure
it out for themselves.
Who or what is responsible for this change? We know the
talk is or was a thing. Otherwise we wouldnt have been
so afraid of it taking place. So why didnt our generation

Drawings by Emily Hower |

Assistant Layout Editor

kw

ard
lea
rnin
g

endure
the awkwardness that
b e - g i n s
with,
Y o u
s e e ,
son,
when a man
and a woman love
e a c h
o t h e r
very much ... ?
L i k e everything else in the world, we could explain these questions
with the Internet. We could blame television and video games for being unnecessarily sexualized or we could fault the pop music industry
for creating stars based less on talent and more on sex appeal.
But, in my mind, these are cop-outs. We all know whos responsible
for killing the lineage of awkward
sex talks between parents and
their kids.
It was your best friend.
If we didnt gain our knowle d g e
of
sex
from pare n t s ,
i
t
h a d
to
c o m e
f r o m
peers.
E v erybody
had a friend with older siblings
who repeated
everything his or her older siblings
said. When
that friend repeated something an older
sibling said
without knowing what it meant and you asked, they replied, Im
not telling you. This friend is probably the same one who informed
you that Santa Claus isnt real, that your parents ate the cookies
you left out for him and that the reindeer bells Santa hung on the
tree could be purchased at Walmart for a quarter each.
I had one of these friends. Ill leave him unnamed, but he fits the
bill entirely. He had an older brother. He acted exactly like his older
brother. He repeated everything his older brother said. Hes the reason
I knew what it meant to get to third base when I still thought girls
had cooties and the reason Id heard the word boner 1,000 times
before I was old enough to get one.
Looking back, hes a hero.
Im glad I figured it out this way. I love my parents dearly, but I think I
might love them a little less if Id heard them use the word intercourse.
To the rest of you, to what appears to be the vast majority, call your
best friend from elementary school. Thank them. Ask them to thank
their siblings. Because of their efforts, we, ourselves, are free from
the responsibility to teach children where babies actually come from.
And that is a freedom that money cant buy.

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Ten reasons why

WOMENS
MAGAZINES
Should be off your !*@& list
Natalie Daher
Editor-in-Chief

When I tell people I subscribe to Cosmopolitan Magazine, reactions range from raised
brows, giggles or side-eyes that just scream intellectual suicide.
The scandalized responses Ive deflected from men, women and several aunts,
however, often stem from a common misconception that Cosmo and every other
womens magazine is only home to the
four Fs: furniture, fashion, food and family plus sex positions.
Cosmo isnt serious, they charge, so
why spend your meager paycheck on that
dishrag? Everyone even me, who so
earnestly subscribes to The New Yorker
and The New York Times has their vices,
I suppose.
My vices include, but are not limited to,
3 Musketeers bars on late deadline nights,
post-production shot pitchers and ignoring responsibilities in favor of yoga classes.
My Cosmo readership, however, is not
a guilty pleasure.
A letter in August 2013 by Robbie
Myers, the editor of ELLE Magazine,
condemned
the pigeonholing of
womens
magazines on the
lowerr
rung of the journalistic totem pole. M
Myers recounted a lecture at
Columbia University during which she shared a 6,000-word
piece that appeared in the mag
magazine on then-Sen. Barack
Obamas 2006 trip to Kenya
Kenya.
A male student raised his hand.
I had no idea you did
d such important stories.
How does it feel to kknow nobody reads them?
he insightfully pr
proposed.
In her letter, Myers fired back, attributing the comment
to youth and
narcissism.

He meant
you, dear reader, the

some 8 million
smart, educated, chic, interesting women who consume ELLE
... Its your status as a woman that makes you
nobody, she wrote.
For decades, Cosmo and its counterparts have been
fueling a dialogue on serious issues that are often ignored
or miscast womens health, abortion, equal pay and high
rates of domestic or sexual violence, to name a few affecting about half of the global population. Our generation and
our
predecessors should recognize the sheer value in that niche and nu- anced coverage
alone, even if they overlook the tremendous journalism that these publications produce.
Womens magazines offer young professionals a map to lifestyle issues that our
mothers and grandmothers never approached or told us about.
Cosmo, the oft-proclaimed sex bible, is a monthly lowdown on getting hired and
excelling in a career, socializing, exercising and, yes, having sex, tackling emotions
and investing in sensible (but still beautiful) footwear.
Importantly, todays brand of womens magazines are sex-positive,
sitive, trump
trumpeting women
as sexual, not merely sexualized, beings. All too often,
en, we meet them as ob
objects, from
pop culture to workplaces, pornography and
nd mass media like Esquire, whose aptly constructed tagline is bookended
by Beautiful Wom
Women and
Drink Recipes.
Publications
ns
like GQ and Esquire,
E
likewise caterering to a gendered audience,
e,
dont catch the
same flak for
dishing on
fashion, entertainment
or sex. Instead, their
journalism is
awarded and lauded
in major media
circles as general interest
work.
Womens magazines are a critical antidote to the depictions of
one-dimensional
women that have permeated old Disney flicks, modern romantic
comedies, classic literature and history. Weve hailed Frozen for its depiction of a strong
female lead, so why havent we let go of our negativity toward Cosmo?
The public places a chokehold on womens magazines, and, this past summer, it
tightened its grip, as media members, too, exchanged a pingpong of takes.
Last July, Politicos piece on the princess effect promised a diplomatic death wish
for any politician who poses for a publication
Daher
7
like Vogue. The writer asserted that Vogues

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

FROM PAGE 6

DAHER
profiles reduced women in office take the
United Nations Samantha Power and Texas
legislatures Wendy Davis for example to
stalwarts of having it all or nothing more
than goddesses of luck who stumbled upon
prominence along a yellow brick road.
In the end, every woman who cooperates with this inanity ... becomes the ambassador of a puff-piece brand, the articles
author wrote.
Cultural norms stereotype portrayals of
women with children, nice houses or tastes
in fashion and food who dont thunder with
self-inflated egos. On the flip side, if women
gloat too much, we still dismiss them.
By stigmatizing depictions of highachieving women in womens magazines
as anti-woman, we simultaneously demand
that women in power should instead be duplicates of men. Meanwhile, cultural norms
excuse portrayals of women as half-dressed
airheads or starlets of Lysol commercials.
Womens magazines are also not recognized as fit to win the top awards that every
other form of journalism is eligible for. A
dearth of appearances for womens magazines also exists on the popular archive of
standout journalism, Longform, sponsored
by our own writing program.
On Longform, you can find seven articles from ELLE, five from Marie Claire, two
from Vogue and zero from Cosmopolitan.
Conversely, youll find 234 articles from
GQ and 129 from Esquire. As for the annual National Magazine Awards, womens
magazines clock in shallowly in three of
eight possible categories: personal service,
essays and public interest. Under Joanna
Coles helm, Cosmo won its first last year.
Cosmos inaugural winner, a guide to
contraception, informed us on a range of
alternatives to Trojan condoms or the pill
serving readers needs and aspirations
in an era when the medical Silicon Valley
is freezing eggs.
In heels, Cole has navigated the freshest
wave of feminism at the magazine, bringing
outspoken leaders like Sheryl Sandberg and
Roxane Gay on board.
In Helen [Gurley Brown]s day, women
used sex as a way to find a man to look after
them, Cole told New York magazine this
week, referring to her predecessor who
spent more than three decades at Cosmo.

Our reader doesnt assume that she wont

be able to look after herself. And so I would
say that we approach sex from the point
of view of How can this be fun for you?
A good question.
By denouncing womens magazines,
youre denouncing women. The last thing
we need is yet another hater bludgeoning
a celebration of women. So, to the next
person who calls my Cosmo a sex bible:
please hold the side-eye and start doing
some serious reading.
Email Natalie at Nataliedaher7@gmail.

FROM PAGE 3

FOX

bad touch school lesson. I didnt fully

know until it happened to me at age 18
when I let my nos grow quiet, and I became
someone who experienced a personal,
fracturing loss.
I never went to the police. I never will.
Yet, I have approached my rapist about
it. He wasnt malicious. He was an idiot,
and his ignorance only surfaced after my

7
I think that was rape. I told you to stop
accusation, to which he agreed, yes, it was.
Yes, you did.
That was my real sex talk.
We didnt die when we had sex in high
school like Coach Carr from our generations pop culture bible, Mean Girls,
said we would. Yet, 42 percent of sexual
violence happens before the age of 18, and
most victims knew their attacker beforehand. So, no, we didnt die, but a lot of us

Fox

10

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Elizabeth Lepro
Staff Writer
In reality, Tanisha is a young, black student who was, truthfully,
hfully, not very good at
maintaining the dominatrix
ix personality. She
was a sophomore at Pitt when she
he began to
portray Dominique as a phone sex operator,
ator,
talking to men over the phone from her single
dorm room in Lothrop Hall.
Today, Tanisha is off the line, working as a
bartender after taking a two-and-a-half year
hiatus from classes. She will return to Pitt in
the summer as a junior pre-law student studying English writing.
She is casual about her experience, and she
described it as a phase she passed through and
has since been able to laugh about. Tanisha
said although she didnt get much out of it,
being a PSO isnt something of which shes
ashamed.
She compared it to going out with your
friends, saying, You dont feel this great sense
of shame the next day. Youre like, I partied
hard and I had fun.
A 2013 survey based on interviews by Students and Phone Sex, a website dedicated to
providing information on phone sex as a job
for college students, revealed that 71 percent of
100 students interviewed saw nothing wrong
with being a phone sex operator. Approximately 10 percent of those interviewed knew
someone in the business.
Tanishas introduction to the world of
phone sex came when she discovered her
friend had been making money as a phone
sex operator, or a PSO, for a couple of months,
randomly disappearing at parties to answer
calls.
I thought she was getting high or something, she said.
It turned out her friend had found a hiring
phone sex company while scrolling through
a website called Sexyjobs.com. Tanisha decided to become a PSO with the mentality,
my friend was doing it, and we thought it
would be funny.
But the job of turning strangers on with just
her voice and imagination was more challenging than she originally anticipated.
You want to create a story thats so interesting they dont want to get off the phone, but
not too interesting that they finish so quickly
they have to get off the phone, Tanisha said.
The money-making strategy, Tanisha explained, is to keep the caller on the line for as

Online and over the phone, Dominique was a long- and ravenhaired white woman, slightly older than college-aged, with heavy
makeup. Although she wasnt a dominatrix, she told men that
she was interested in learning to become one.

long as possible.
poss
ssib
ible
ib
le.
on a Russian persona in the film when she is
One company fo
for which she worked re- seen at work making the whip sound effect
quired that callers b
buy at least 10 minutes of with a rubber band ball and talking dirty to a
call time for $20 operators received half of client in a fake accent.
the profit. Every
Ever minute after 10 cost $1.99,
Even though Tanisha didnt get turned on
and Tanishas pay was bumped up to 60 per- by her conversations, she rejects the idea that
cent. Callers could also leave tips at the end a PSO can take a call while juggling multiple
of their calls through the dispatch operator, different tasks like doing homework or workwhich PSOs received in full. A typical weekly ing in an office.
income could
I t
be anywhere
takes a fair
between $50
amount of
for inexpericoncentraenced operation, its
tors and $400
just like
for a decently
learning
s u c c e s sf u l
a story,
week of calls.
Ta n i s h a
In doing
said, addso, Tanisha
ing that
crafted incallers are
tricate back
also paystories and
ing for
personalities
your full
for her charattention.
acters. It was
S h e
vital to keep
describes
a written acthe world
count of charof being a
acters stories
PSO as one
because rein which
turning cuscatering
tomers would
to the fancatch any factasy of the
tual slip-ups.
(mostly
Online,
male )
phone sex Jeff Ahearn | Staff Photographer
callers recompanies
quires an
such as NiteFlirt allow their operators to buy attention to detail and the need to be imagiphotos of women they would then pretend native.
to be from a catalog of pictures. It is the reHer most profitable call included a twosponsibility of the operator to create a profile hour phone conversation with a man who
and backstory for her character, a form of wanted to be ordered around. The call includself-marketing thats vital in getting people ed Tanisha advising him to go the refrigerator
to choose you as a partner.
and put an ice cube down his pants as punishCallers can list specific preferences or ment. In the end, Tanishas ability to keep up
fetishes, and PSOs would be notified of the the act for two hours resulted in a $500 tip.
preferences either by a dispatch operator, as
In these situations, Tanisha was never as
was the case with Tanishas first employer, or into the conversation as she made her cusby some other method, online or otherwise. tomers think.
In the movie Valentines Day, Anne HaIn fact, Tanisha said at first it was hard to
thaway plays a character who moonlights as a hide her sarcastic tendencies when ridiculous
PSO. To satisfy her callers fetishes, she takes requests made by men, such as requesting

she pretend to be a dog at a ski resort, would

otherwise have made her burst into laughter.
Her ability to stifle the laughter came with
experience, but some callers, she said, were
more perturbing than funny.
Tanisha described an experience in which
the customer claimed he was a principal from
Texas who employed corporal punishment
and wanted her to be a school girl receiving
it. She hung up on the caller because she was
uncomfortable with the situation.
Because every dropped call has to be
explained or else it could be grounds for an
immediate firing, according to Tanisha, she
had to tell the dispatch operator that she lost
service.
Its not about being noble, I mean, you
would have to act that fantasy out to the end,
she said.
Despite her experience, she wasnt, by any
means, the trained professional the website
claims their operators to be.
Its a joke, she said.
Her employer gave her some quick tips on
the phone, but nothing descriptive or of value.
Because callers were often very graphic,
including a man who asked her to milk his
penis on the first call, Tanisha explained that
she had lost a lot of her shock value as a result.
At this point, Ive done so much in my
life that I just feel like Ive heard it all, she
said, adding that the job is not for anyone
who startles easily.
The job is attractive to college students
who are looking for a way to deal with extra
tuition fees and usually have a private place
to take the calls.
Tanisha is unabashed in relaying stories of
her experience over the phone, but she said it
wasnt like she ever ran around telling people
[she was] a phone sex operator.
As for how the experience has affected
her everyday life, Tanisha, who has been on
again, off again with the same boyfriend for
eight years, doesnt, for the most part, have a
tainted image of the opposite sex.
She claimed the anonymity of the caller allowed her to form a certain image in her mind.
When you think of the people doing that
[calling a phone sex line], you dont think of
the average Joe, she said. You dont look at
people in the street and think I bet he called
me last night.

10

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

FROM PAGE 7

FOX

didnt walk as healthy, whole classmates

on high school graduation day.
Sexual violence is a sociocultural problem, yes, but educating teens on rape
doesnt hurt like this violence does.
As we are so inundated with mediaapproved sex-evanescent candles, rose petals or matching lingerie, many American
teenagers couldnt identify real sex and
cant properly react when confronted with
sexual desire or aggression.
The problem doesnt lie at home. It
festers in our schools. Parents are not objective enough to properly discuss sexual
assault. The dialogue should start in the
grade schools and must continue in college,
when we are still most vulnerable.
Why do we not have a general education requirement on sexuality? On gender
rights? If my University demands that I
know about a culture outside of the Western
Hemisphere, I demand that they make us
Fatima Kizilkaya | Staff Cartoonist

Fox

11

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

FROM PAGE 10

FOX

learn about gender and sexuality.

Schools such as Arizona State University, California State University and Stanford University do. Where is ours? They
require students to take a class on gender
or sexuality, or they present students gened options in a way to make it more likely
they will study gender or sexuality.
Pitts Gender, Sexuality and Womens
Studies Program courses from which
I have benefitted span a number of
departments, according to University
spokesman John Fedele. However, ... the
basic [general education] requirements
were worked out by the faculty of Arts &
Sciences some time ago, and we do not add
new requirements even though we do add
new courses.
In our changing society, requirements
should be just as malleable as our mindsets.
There are so many questions that a
talk from your mom and dad could never
answer: What would justice look like for
sexual violence if we were better educated?
Why dont we learn about aromanticism
and asexuality in health class? Why do
only 12 states require discussion of sexual
orientation when same-sex marriage is
legal in 37 states?
And, lastly, why the stigma behind
sex? Religious reasons? According to researchers from Trinity College in Hartford, Conn., 32 percent of the surveyed
students are spiritual but not religious,
while another 28 percent consider themselves secular.
As the stigmas base leaves the pews,
we must discard our social hangup on confronting real sex. We cannot make progress on sexual education if shame shields
judgment.
Because, really, there are plenty of
things that are fun and harm the environment or are just plain bad, but they arent
shameful to do. For example, according to
National Public Radio, if I eat a quarterpound hamburger, it wastes 6.7 pounds
of grains, 52.8 gallons of drinking water,
74.5 square feet of land and 1,035 British
thermal units (BTU) of fossil fuel energy
enough to power a typical microwave
for 18 minutes.
Thats a waste, all right, but I dont
see anyone calling the police when you

wrap your lips around that kind of meat

in public.
So, moving forward, lets begin identifying and accepting real and safe sex
whether it comes with candles or happens
in the campus bathroom. We know experience is not the best educator in this case,
and the numbers of rapes, assaults, STIs
and pregnancies is proof that this teaching
needs to be in the classroom.
Bring on the wooden penises.
Email Danielle at Foxddanielle@gmail.
com.

FROM PAGE 4

BDSM

Jill, but shes adapted.

Its a really cool thing for me to experience as a very loud, obnoxious, stubborn and willful young woman. To break
those rules of feminism and let myself be
dominated its an interesting balance
of my personality, Jill said.
The fine line between feminine values
and submissive roles can be difficult to

11
find. Margot Weiss, assistant professor
of American studies and anthropology
at Wesleyan University, is that embracing inner sexual desires during BDSM is
a sure path to liberation.
As a queer and materialist feminist,
I worry about how these debates pare
down politics to sexual choices, Weiss
said. This seems to me a liberal understanding, where our fantasies and desires
are private, ours alone to discover and

BDSM

18

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

12

Sex in the 60s

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

Dec. 1960

Aug. 1962

Summer 1967

Dec. 1967
The
Graduate
debuts

Oct. 1968

Aug. 1969

13

Jan. 1970

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME

Shawne Cooke
A&E Editor

ts natural to think of frank, unapologetic, casual

sex as a modern creation. Since were always just
a right swipe away from being matched with a
potential partner, it may seem like weve reached the
hook-up cultures high-water mark.
But sexual liberation dates back to long
before
Generation Y and even some of its
parents was born. The 1960s ushered in
a clash between the stark sexual conservatism of the prior decade and a desire
to shatter the norms of squeaky-clean,
marital sex. College campuses, including Pitts, were testing labs for students who might not have received
many previous opportunities to
explore their sexuality.
Other than what was the furtive
cou-

pling
in parents cars
while they were in
high school, they have their first
real opportunity to explore their
own sexuality in a more open way
than had been the case before, said
John Stoner, an undergraduate adviser and
lecturer in Pitts history department.
Although modern perceptions of the 60s
often recall it as an era of drugged-out
and promiscuous flower children, those
stereotypes only speak to half of the
decade. Old hands from the 50s fought to

preserve the establishment for as long as they could

before the establishment shifted.
The decrying of the hook-up culture that
happens a lot with people who wring
their hands today is actually not all
that new, Stoner said.
On Pitts campus, Helen Pool Rush and
Savina Skewis were two prominent
hand-wringers over the notion of liberated sexuality. During the 60s, as Dean
of Women 1942-1965 and 19651968, respectively, Rush and
Skewis enforced the longstanding
curfew on female students, which
required that they stay in their
dorms after specified times on
weeknights or weekend nights.
At Pitt and most other campuses across America the
University had a mandate to
act in loco parentis, or in place
of a parent. Along with the curfew policy, male students were
not allowed to enter female
dorm buildings, and female
students could only visit male rooms
if their door was propped
open se-

verely limiting privacy or any

sexual opportunity.
There was simply no way they were
going to relax rules that would create any
possibility for sexual activities, Tom Meisner, a 1968 Pitt graduate, said.
But for one alumna, the deans tactics became startlingly intrusive.
Rebecca Taksel a 1965 graduate was summoned to Rushs
office in 1960. Taksel, a freshman,

The Pill
is born

Marilyn
Monroe
dies

Other than what was

the furtive coupling in
parents cars while they
were in high school,
they have their first real
opportunity to explore
their own sexuality.
- John Stoner

was unexpectedly questioned about her boyfriend, a

26-year-old student at what was then Carnegie
Institute of Technology (now Carnegie Mellon University).
I remember being called into the deans office and
quizzed about
him, and I had absolutely no idea how these
people in a school that
big would know the
details of my relationship,
Taksel said.
Female students with perceived unsuitable boyfriends were often brought to the
deans office and questioned, according to Taksel,
even if they hadnt spoken to a faculty member before
about their relationships. Taksel said that Rush openly
used student spies to report on other women.
It had to have been a fellow student who spied on
me, Taksel said.
Taskel met with Rush on the 12th floor, a posh space
for the Office of Women that she likens to a university
club, right in the middle of the Cathedral of Learning.
Hardly an academic space, the 12th floor was a pristine

The Graduate has one of the most progressive depeictions of sex in the 1960s. | MGM Studios

Summer
of
Love

collection of living rooms, dining rooms with ornate

chandeliers, fine carpeting and elegant upholstery.
It was a prim place for female students to sip tea and
learn the manners, graces and roles that the University
intended for them to have.
The governing ideal of the 12th floor was that women
had special needs and a special role to play in the University community, Taksel said.
But the underlying message of such formal training
had deeper implications in the University sex culture,
according to Taskel.
Whatever kind of fancy language they used, it was
about protecting us sexually from the predations of
male students that was the underlying message,
Taskel said, that we were vulnerable and needed to be
protected.
Despite these vigilant policies, perception shifted midway through the 60s, and the sexual revolution slowly
reached its boiling point by the end of the decade
when Pitts curfew policy would be amended to allow
female students out after 2:30 a.m., if they had parental
permission and two full terms under their belts.
Although students had fewer reservations about casual
sex than in previous decades, it remains impossible
to quantify just how free campuses were during the
decade.
The statistics about sexuality sadly are always flawed,
because people cant really be relied upon to accu-

Its not like people

were keeping
statistics you had
rumors, you had
stories, you had
bragging.
- Tom Meisner

Pitt hosts Sex

and Sexuality
forum

Woodstock

rately talk about their own sexual habits even when

anonymously doing so, Stoner said.
Meisner was equally
quuaallyy ca
care
careful
refuul to
re
t p
point
oint
oi
nt oout
nt
uutt tthe
he uunrelinrrel
nre
elii-eliability of how sexx w
was
discussed
ass ooften
ftteen
ften
nd
iscu
is
cuss
sssed
ssed
d aamong
moong ccollege
m
olle
ol
leggee
students.
Its not like people
eoopl
plee w
we
were
ere
ere kkeeping
eeeepiing
ng sstatatata
tistics you ha
had
d ru
rrumors,
umo
m rs
r , yo
yyouu ha
h
had
d
stories, you had
db
bragging,
ragg
ra
g ing,
gg
ing,
gM
Me
Meisner
eis
isneer
said.
Regardless of how
how many
maany
ny people
peo
eopl
ple
ple
were engaging in
nn
no-stringsoo--st
s ri
ring
nggsattached sexuality,
alliityy, Taks
T
Taksel
aks
ksel
el
noticed some m
major
ajjorr aattitudinal
ttit
tt
ittud
itud
udin
inal
a
al
shifts, especially
ly once
ly
oncce she
s e
sh
transferred forr a ye
year
a aafter
ar
fter
ft
err
her freshman yyear
eaar to SSarah
aarrah
Lawrence College
ege iin
n Ne
N
New
w
York.
Even at an all-girls
-girls
school, there we
weree
some girls whoo w
were
ere
er
r
beginning to behave
eh
hav
avee
like guys, Taksel
sell
said. They were
ree
having sex on
purpose to sortt off
put notches in
their belt not
ot
the majority,
but that was
definitely
real.
Sexual liberation also
provided women
en
n
an outlet for rebellion
b lllioon
be
and protest outside
tsid
ts
id
de off
a traditional political
oli
liti
tica
ti
call
context.
One of the major
ajoor
ways that I think
nk
women had at
at
that time and ma
m
many
ny
times in historyy
to express that
haat
kind of rebel-

New No=Curfew
rules for female
students at Pitt

liousness was through sexual behavior, because its so

forbidden, Taksel said.
But
B
Bu
utt despite
deesp
d
pitte th
the
he benefi
b nefi
be
fits
ts of
of increased
incr
in
crea
ease
seed freedom
free
fr
eedo
doom and
an
aagency,
ag
gen
e cyy, Taksel
Taks
Ta
k el
ks
e suggests
sug
ugge
ugge
gest
stts th
that
at tthe
he sexual
sex
exuuaal revolution
r vvooluuti
re
t on
n ccame
ame
am
with
w
wi
th
h its
its
t share
sha
h re
of h
of
hidden
id
dde
d n cost
costs.
stss.
st
It often
It
ofte
of
teen
got
got us
us in
in a whole
w ol
wh
o e lot
loot off
trouble
ttr
roubl
rou
ble
bl
ooff p
psychological
syych
hol
olog
oggic
ical
all
trouble.
trou
tr
oubl
blle. Itt di
b
didn
didnt
dn
ntt
lead
le
ad ooften
ften
ft
en to
where
wh
wher
her
eree we
we w
wanted
ante
an
ted
d
itt tto,
o Taks
o,
T
Ta
Taksel
akssel ssaid.
aiid.
d.
We
W
We th
thought
hou
ough
ght itt
gh
was
wa
as free
ffree,
fr
ree,
eee, an
and,
d,,
d
emotionally,
emot
em
otio
ot
iona
io
nall
nall
na
lly,
y, iitt
wasnt.
wa
w
asn
nt
t.

Bruce Cool and Cathy Walker kiss during the Best Kiss Competition at the 1965 Homecoming half time. | TPN File Photo

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

The Pitt News Crossword, 2/13/2015

14

ACROSS
1 Wrap giant
6 Reliever Orosco
with the MLB
record for career
pitching
appearances
11 Center of
excellence?
14 Quaking causes
15 Plant pest
16 Rest ones dogs,
so to speak
17 Its fraudulent
19 Double Fantasy
artist
20 Extras in an env.
21 Squeezed (out)
22 Web-footed
critter
24 Mustard, for one:
Abbr.
25 Encouraging
shouts
26 Shout
27 Its fabricated
30 Saint Joan star
Jean
31 __ Locks: St.
Marys River
rapids bypass
32 Hid the gray in
33 Brewers
outfielder Braun
35 Creator of Della
37 Morales of film
40 Part of a foot
42 Pompous
authority
46 Its fake
49 Beer with Since
1775 on its label
50 Big dos
51 Grazing area
52 More of that
53 Detective Peter
of old TV
54 Estate attorneys
concern
55 __ Lingus
56 Race errors, and
what 17-, 27and 46-Across
have
59 Mrs., in much of
the Americas
60 Classic sixcouplet poem
61 Has __: can
save face
62 Triumphant cry
63 Dost espy
64 Has a sudden
inspiration?

2/26/15

By Mike Buckley

DOWN
1 Gets to
2 Heroine of
Beethovens
Fidelio
3 AAA, for one
4 AAA et al.
5 Enzyme suffix
6 Hiked, with up
7 The Comedy of
Errors setting
8 Word with wood
or water
9 Quote qualifier
10 Ex-mayor with a
cameo in The
Muppets Take
Manhattan
11 Abstruse stuff
12 Pedigree
13 Came (in)
dramatically
18 Convention
attendees
23 Exploit
25 Live at the __:
Patsy Cline
album
26 Venomous
arachnids
28 Sources of fine
wool
29 ... rapping at my
chamber door
poet

Wednesdays Puzzle Solved

2015 Tribune Content Agency, LLC

34
36
37
38
39
41
43
44
45

Fish-fowl link
Filming sites
Heaven on earth
Told ya!
Natural light
shows
Pours out
Short, tailored
jackets
Really dug
something
San Simeon
family

2/26/15

47 Guards may
prevent
them
48 Antarctic
explorer
Shackleton
53 Pure delight
54 1985 U.S. Open
champ
Mandlikova
57 Modern art?
58 Recess
game

T P N Todays difficulty level: Very Hard

S U D
Puzzles by Dailysudoku.com
O K U

Fe
February
13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

15

No sex, no love
Exploring asexuality,
aromanticism at Pitt

individuals ex
experience sexual attraction
but only after an emotional connection
has been formed
formed. Aromanticism is even
less common an
and less understood than
asexuality, because
asexuality
beca some people, according to Samantha, think it is a result of past
Dale Shoemaker
emotional turmoil.
Assistant News Editor
Theres the broken stereotype. People
At parties, Allison likes to dance, to bump ask, Who hurt you? which is frustrating.
and grind, but not in a sexual way. Chelsea No one hurt me this is just who I am,
has danced and hooked up after a party, Samantha said. Theres also the misconbut didnt enjoy it. Samantha, too, has had ception that Im a robot. Im not I do
mediocre sex after a frat party, but when have feelings, just not romantic feelings.
the boy wanted to see her again, she turned
Nothing is wrong with them, they say,
him down.
and they are not broken. Theyve just had
These three women, all Pitt students, few, if any, serious relationships. For the
fall on the asexual-aromantic spectrum. last three and a half years, these women
Allison and Chelsea, which is not her real have immersed themselves in the heteroname, both identify as asexual, mean- normative hook-up culture of Pitt, but their
ing they do not experience any sexual personal orientations have resulted in very
attraction, and Samantha identidifferent
e
experiences.
fies as aromanmantic,
In 1994, the Nameaning she
he
tional Survey of Sexdoes not
ual Attitudes and
experience
Lifestyles found
romantic
that 1 percent of
love.
respondents said
Theres the broken
A s e x uthey had never felt
stereotype. People ask,
ality falls on
sexually attracted to
se
one end of thee
anyone at all. AVENs
anyo
who hurt you? which is
sexual spectrum,
m,
2014
asexual
a
census re.
ing
at
tr
frus
according to
o the
ported th
that 1.6 percent of
-Samantha
Asexual Visibility
ility and
respondents identified on the
Education Network
work (AVEN),
asexual spectru
spectrum.
and includes several
eral subcategoAll individuals
individua who identify
ries. The starkestt is asexuality itself,
somewhere on the ase
asexuality spectrum
in which individuals
uals feel no sexual atcan feel romantic love an
and can fall in love,
traction towards anyone else at all
all.
and some do.
Further towards the middle are two catAt the other end of the spectrum, opegories, gray-asexual, known as gray-ace posite asexuality, is sexuality. Sexuality is
or gray-A, and demisexual. Gray-ace indi- common and includes all individuals who
viduals experience sexual attraction very feel sexual attraction in any way. Sexual
rarely, only under specific circumstances, individuals may feel sexual attraction toor of an intensity so low that its ignor- ward the opposite gender, their own genable, according to AVEN, and demisexual der or toward someone who is trans- or
pangender.
2014 Asexual Census
Samantha, the aromantic, avoids re-

lationships and
doesnt get tangled up in emotions.
I dont have
a lot of experience in that, but,
when it does happen, I dont have that
emotional reaction, so
its like hitting a wall
all almost, except Im the
he wall,
she said. I only have
ve platonic
feelings. I have familial
milial relationships, really intense
se friendships.
Allison is able to fall in love, she
said, but is not sexually attracted to
anyone. Occasionally, shell
h ll find
find someone
aesthetically attractive.
For example, she said, she doesnt want
to have sex with Channing Tatum.
I agree that hes attractive, but he can
keep that to himself. On the flip side, the
people I have had crushes on, I really do
like them, and I want to be in a relationship
with them. Allison said.
If she had a relationship one day and
was really in love with her partner, she
said, she would consider having sex with
that person. Asexuals can have sex, according to AVEN, even if they dont necessarily
desire the experience.
For asexuals in romantic relationships,
Allison said,, tthis
is
is often
viewed as givving something up.
You
dont give
up part of
yourself. Its
just you care
re
so much aboutt the
other person,, youre
willing to do things to
make them happy,
appy, Allison
said.

I dont want t
o have
sex with Chann
ing
Tatum. I agree t
hat
hes attractive
, but he
can keep that t
F o r
o himC
h
e
l
sea,
self.
falling in lo
love
has not happen
happened
-Allison
yet, partly due to the
hook-up culture of college. Hooking up is a ga
game,
she said, that shed play with her
friends. She didnt realize she was asexual
until last January, her junior year at Pitt,
and until then, slept with men because
her friends were.
It was a competition, she said, Oh,
theyre hooking up with someone. I should
try to hook up with someone. When I realized I was asexual, thats when I realized I
was doing it for different reasons.
When Chelsea did hook up, she hooked
up with men, even though she wasnt into
it.
Hooking up with guys was just
boring. I wasnt into it, but I
bo
went along with it because I
thought thats what people
do. I would think, Oh this
is nice, I guess, because
theyre into me.
It was only after she
had hooked up with a numh
ber of guys her freshman and
sophomore years that Chelsea
sopho
realized she was asexual. She remembers on
one night, when one of her

1.6 percent of people

identify on the asexual
spectrum

Page 19

16

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

17

Sin no more: Sex and religion

the biggest sin is
not believing or
loving your lord.
Sex is not the
overall sin i can
think of.
-spencer schlect

Jeff Ahearn | Assistant Visual Editor

Students explore
intersectionality of Christianity, Judaism and
being sexually
active
Anjana Murali
Staff Writer
In his sophomore year of high
school, Spencer Schlecht realized that his abstinence from
sex wasnt developing his faith,
so he stopped repenting his
sexual sins.
Schlecht, a freshman prepharmacy major, is a nondenominational Christian. For
him, if two people want to and
agree on terms to have sex,
then its fine as long, as one
person isnt using the other.
I realized, as I grew older
in my faith, that loving Jesus
is the point, Schlecht said. I
dont think that sex managed
correctly is going to hinder me
any more than following the
rules would hinder me.
Religious doesnt automatically equate to conservative anymore. In 2009, the
Higher Education Research
Institute conducted national
surveys and found that 83 percent of students affiliate with
a religion, and the American
Psychological Association reported in 2013 that 60 to 80
percent of college students
have participated in hook-up
culture.
More than 70 percent of the
Allegheny County population
affiliates with a religious con-

gregation most with sects

of Christianity: 68.7 percent
identify as Catholic, 6.5 percent as Presbyterian and 5.2
percent as Methodist. Judaism
follows at 3.8 percent, making
Christianity and Judaism the
two most prominent religious
groups in the area, according
to information collected from
Allegheny County records.
These two religions, despite
sharing roots in the Old Testament, hold different perspectives on sex.
Certain sects of Christianity, including Catholic, Orthodox, Lutheran, Methodist and
Wesleyan sects, believe premarital sex is sinful, though
its not taboo in Judaism.
Father Tom Byrnes, pastor of Sacred Heart Church in
Monroe, N.Y., said the Catholic
Church views sex as a gift from
God that should be saved for
marriage.
Its designed for a couple
to express their love for each
other in a very powerful way,
and its supposed to be open
to life to bring a child into
the world, Byrnes said.
Peoples greatest gift to offer is themselves, Byrnes said,
which is why its important to
save sex until marriage.
If its just done haphazardly, such as with premarital
sex, thats opening someone
to be thrown away their gift
being treated as an object, Byrnes said.
Schlecht said his faith is
based on his love for Jesus and
not necessarily what he does
on a day-to-day basis.
The biggest sin is not believing or loving your Lord,
Schlecht said. Sex is not the
overall sin I think of.

Although sex is a sacred

act, Schlecht said a person
shouldnt have to wait until
marriage to experience it.
Ive been to a lot of Christian groups, and they say no
sex before marriage, and abstinence, but I dont really agree
with that, Schlecht said. Im
19 now, and I havent even
thought about getting married.
I have hormones and desires
and needs, too.
Byrnes, however, cautions
against premarital sex and
one-night stands.
A person can never experience the full sense of joy unless
they are in marriage or commitment, Byrnes said.
Jewish people dont see sex
as only for procreation, according to Danielle Kranjec,
senior Jewish educator at the
Hillel Jewish University Center.
Jews see sex as part of the
human experience and as part
of how one has a healthy relationship, Kranjec said.
In the Jewish tradition,
within the context of marriage,
a woman can divorce her husband on the grounds of lack
of sexual satisfaction. Sexual
satisfaction is considered the
womans right, and not the
mans, in marriage, according
to Kranjec.
Growing up, Melana Dayanim, a freshman biology major, was a conservative Jew and
went to Jewish Day School from
kindergarten to fifth grade,
where sex was never addressed.
When she went to public school
after fifth grade, her ideology
about sex changed.
I started taking sex education, and I didnt understand

Religion

20

18

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

fifty shades of grey

Fifty
nan), the alNatalia Blewonska
For The Pitt News
Shades of
luringly mysGrey
terious CEO of
Directed
Grey Enterprises.
by: Sam TaylorChristian meJohnson
ticulously adheres
Starring: Dakota Johnto a strict and orderly
son, Jamie Dornan
lifestyle while Anastasia
Rated R for strong sexual
leads her own safe, boring
content including dialogue,
life. She still rocks a flip phone
some unusual behavior, graphic
and works at the local hardware
nudity and language
store to make some cash to
Grade: D
support herself through colIf youre just watching
lege.
Fifty Shades of Grey
Ana interviews Christian
to see some hot, kinky
for her school newspaper,
sex and a flash of cerand their interaction immetain body parts here
diately establishes sexual
or there, youll be left
tension. Awkward sexual
wanting.
innuendo, possibly intenSam Taylor-Johntional, pops up throughout
sons adaptation of the Twilight fan their conversation to elicit a few chuckfiction bestseller is far tamer than its les. While Ana mumbles and fumbles
source material, but it starts off interest- over her words, Christian exudes coningly enough by setting up the dichoto- fidence with his piercing gaze and commy of its lead characters. Fifty Shades manding tone. But rather than coming
contrasts the vastly different lives of off as sexy and playful, their conversaAnastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), a tions sound uncomfortably one-sided.
college student in Washington working This sets up a shaky foundation for their
her way toward an English literature
Read the rest online at Pittnews.com.
degree, and Christian Grey (Jamie Dor-

FROM PAGE 11

BDSM

nurture, and detached from a social or

political world. Is that really all we might
say about feminist sexual politics?
According to Weiss, BDSM is a product of our social environment, not an
age-old, unchanging orientation.
Our desires reflect and refract -even when they rework -- our social relationships and historical locations,
Weiss said, This does not mean that
women are necessarily submissive and
men dominant. But it does mean that
gendered relations of power structure
our sexual desires.
For Jill, being dominated by Jack is
not an oppressive experience rather,
it is enjoyable.
Jill recognizes the potential room
for conflict but, instead, embraces the
contrasting parts of her life and allows
it to let her relationship grow.
Its really interesting giving over a
significant part of myself and my free
will, she said. It creates an incredible love and bond between us. I have to
trust him so much with giving over the
power ... I trust him not to make me do
stupid sh*t.
In a BDSM relationship, rules and
punishments are written by the couple
to negotiate and formalize their BDSM
agreement, according to a website devoted to helping people learn the ways of
BDSM. The contracts often include sections such as play time, limiting control
and kinky clauses. Although Jack and
Jill did not write a formal contract, they
have spoken rules and punishments.
Jack considers outlining and enforc-

ing the rules and punishments as one of

his duties as dom. Wearing the collar is
one of Jills rules, and breaking it means
punishment.
When the couple first started trying
out a BDSM relationship, they didnt
have many rules. But as they experimented more, they wanted more rules
and punishments.
The rules for Jill: Wear the dog collar.
Dont touch yourself without permission. Dont talk back. Bring eggs to Jack
every Tuesday.
We were just having fun, and she was
asking me for more rules, so I just had
to come up with something, so I chose
something ridiculous, he said. I dont
care if theyre cooked or raw, if there are
one or a thousand just eggs. But it got
to the point where I had too many eggs,
so now its just something consumable.
Jill has forgotten her Tuesday ritual
only a few times but has trouble restraining herself from talking back. Neither
finds this to be an issue, though, because
breaking the rules is half the fun of having them.
Theres things like talking back that
I break all the time, but that also gives
[you] another excuse to slap me whenever you want, she said, laughing and
looking at Jack.
But, despite the fun, the rules and
uneven power occasionally puts a strain
on the couples relationship.
We have our own things that would
probably be small issues, but, because
of the dom/sub thing, theyre inflated,
Jill said.
Jill said some of those issues that
irritate Jack include Jills self-proclaimed

BDSM

19

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

FROM PAGE 15

ASEXUAL
roommates was sleeping with someone
for the second time. She was confused,
and didnt understand how her roommate
would want to sleep with someone more
than once.
And I was just like Why? Isnt the game
over? Id be interested in someone for a
night, but it was just for a night, she said.
Through blogs on Tumblr, Chelsea
found the words she needed to describe
herself and communicate her sexuality to
other people. Both Chelsea and Samantha
have told similar stories, and searching
the asexual tag on Tumblr shows a thriving haven of support and information for
young asexuals.
Memes and user-generated art are popular, and one user recently posted asexual
and aromantic Valentine hearts. Black,
white, gray, and purple striped hearts with
Dayum, youre aesthetically pleasing, and
#NoRomo have gotten reblogged over
40 thousand time. AVEN, too, the largest
online community for asexuals, provides

concrete definitions and message boards

for individuals exploring their sexuality.
Alison said she has not hooked up because once someone learns she is asexual,
their interest vanishes.
If I meet someone new, and we hit it off,
and theyre really cute [and they find out
Im asexual], any sexual interest they had
in me is thrown under the rug. Usually, with
most sexual people, thats the first thing you
worry about before love, she said.
At parties, she said, she does dance
with other people, including the standard
bump and grind.
Allison said she started to realize she
had no sexual attraction to other people
when she was in the ninth grade. All of
her friends had boyfriends, and she said
she was so game to have a relationship,
too, to fit in. A boy came over one night,
she said, and they kissed.
It didnt feel like anything, she said.
Ive tried kissing again, and it doesnt do
anything for me. Its just like wet touching wet.
Before she had the word asexual to
describe herself, she said, it was difficult
to communicate that, no, she didnt like

someones kiss, but she also didnt like anyone elses kiss either.
It was things like that, being in the moment and not feeling anything that made
me feel, like, other for a while, she said.
She is now comfortable with who she is
and sees many possibilities for her future
that she might not otherwise have seen if
she were to someday get married and stay
in one place.
Samantha, too, is glad she wont be held
back by love or relationships.
Therere always concessions you have
to make when youre attached to someone
romantically, and I dont have to make those
concessions, she said. [Those concessions] can be turned toward my career,
and itll be easier for me to pick up and
move somewhere. I wont have to pick up
my family itll just be me.
The kind of love she can feel, she said,
and the kind of love she desires, she will
be able to get from her friends.
Sometimes I do desire companionship,
but I can always find that in my friends,
she said. I wouldnt say that Im missing
out. No ... I get that fulfillment from my
friendships.

19
FROM PAGE 18

BDSM

flirty personality, while Jacks comments

hurt Jill more than his spankings..
The last thing I want to do is make
my dom upset. If hes disappointed or
upset with me, then Im failing at my
job, and I get very upset with myself,
Jill said.
When situations like this come up,
Jack often blames himself as well.
I worry about being meaner than
something would warrant or overstepping my boundaries or neglecting her
needs as well, Jack said. I feel like
communicating things poorly is part of
being a bad dom, because part of being
a dom is telling them what they need to
do. Like, how can they follow the rules if
they dont know what they are?
The couple said most of their fights
end in comforting one another.
A lot of it goes like Ugh, no, Im such
a bad sub, and him being No, youre
not, Jill said. A lot of times were just
convincing the other person theyre not
bad [at their role].

20

February 13, 2015 | The Pitt News | www.pittnews.com

FROM PAGE 17

RELIGION
what was going on, Dayanim said. Before ninth grade, I had very negative outlooks on sex, because my parents also
didnt talk about it.
As she has matured, Dayanim said
that she has become a lot less judgmental about sex and other people engaging
in sexual activity.
Acceptance of other people, independent of their personal lives, is very

THE PITT NEWS

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important, Dayanim said.

In Judaism, there is no disconnect
between the mind, body and spirit, according to Kranjec.
Physical pleasure is considered a part
of the human experience, and Jews dont
seek to deny themselves pleasure for any
spiritual reason, Kranjec said.
According to Kranjec, Judaism tends
to be more sex-positive than other traditions. One Pitt student, though, said he
thinks his religion is often misunderstood
when it comes to sex.

E S T A B L I S HE D 1 9 1 0

Danielle Fox, Managing Editor

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Copy Staff

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As someone on the trajectory toward

priesthood, Reed Frey, a junior majoring
in religious studies, politics and philosophy, said pop culture has distorted the
Catholic Churchs views on sex. Even as
far back as 1977, in the song Only the
Good Die Young, Billy Joel sings of Virginia, a Catholic girl who refuses to sleep
with him.
I think the Catholic Church has gotten a bad reputation in recent years for
being anti-sex, but, in fact, when you really look at it, the Catholic Church places

sexual relations on a very high level, Frey

said. The mechanics of human sexuality, which is what pop culture wants to
focus on, are really quite far down the
line from the fundamental teachings of
the Catholic Church.
The mechanics of sex are implications
of the grander scheme of love, Frey said.
If you keep your eyes on the beauty
that the Church places on human sexuality, I think you can actually get a better
essential understanding of human sexuality, Frey said.

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