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Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

March, 1994 [Etext #11]

[Originally released in January, 1991]

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ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

Lewis Carroll

THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0

CHAPTER I

Down the Rabbit-Hole

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister

on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had

peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no

pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,'

thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'

So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,

for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether

the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble

of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White

Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice

think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to

itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought

it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have

wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);

but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-

POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to

her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never

before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to

take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the

field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop

down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it, never once

considering how in the world she was to get out again.

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,

and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a

moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself

falling down a very deep well.

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she

had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to

wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look

down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to

see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and

noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;

here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She

took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was

labelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it

was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing

somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she

fell past it.

`Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, I

shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll

all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it,

even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely

true.)

Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! `I

wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.

`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let

me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for,

you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her

lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY good

opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to

listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes,

that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude

or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was,

or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to

say.)

Presently she began again. `I wonder if I shall fall right

THROUGH the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the

people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I

think--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this

time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shall

have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.

Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried

to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling

through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) `And what

an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll

never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'

Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon

began talking again. `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I

should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) `I hope they'll remember

her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were

down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but

you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.

But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get

rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of

way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do

bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either

question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt

that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she

was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very

earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a

bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of

sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a

moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her

was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in

sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost:

away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it

say, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how late

it's getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the

corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found

herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps

hanging from the roof.

There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;

and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the

other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,

wondering how she was ever to get out again.

Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of

solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,

and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the

doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or

the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of

them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low

curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little

door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key

in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small

passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and

looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.

How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about

among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but

she could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even if

my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be of

very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish

I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only

know how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things

had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few

things indeed were really impossible.

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she

went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on

it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like

telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, (`which

certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neck

of the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME'

beautifully printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little

Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look

first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';

for she had read several nice little histories about children who

had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant

things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules

their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker

will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your

finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had

never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked

`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or

later.

However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice ventured

to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort

of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast

turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finished

it off.

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * *

`What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting up

like a telescope.'

And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and

her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right

size for going through the little door into that lovely garden.

First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was

going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about

this; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in my

going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be

like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is

like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember

ever having seen such a thing.

After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided

on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice!

when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the

little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it,

she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it

quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb

up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery;

and when she had tired herself out with trying,

the poor little thing sat down and cried.

`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to

herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!'

She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very

seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so

severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered

trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game

of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious

child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no

use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why,

there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable

person!'

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under

the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on

which the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.

`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger,

I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep

under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I

don't care which happens!'

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Which

way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to

feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to

find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally

happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the

way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,

that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the

common way.

So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * *

CHAPTER II

The Pool of Tears

`Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much

surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good

English); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that

ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her

feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so

far off). `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on

your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure _I_ shan't

be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself

about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be

kind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk the

way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of

boots every Christmas.'

And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.

`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'll

seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the

directions will look!

ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.

HEARTHRUG,

NEAR THE FENDER,

(WITH ALICE'S LOVE).

Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'

Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in

fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took

up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one

side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get

through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to

cry again.

`You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a great

girl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying in

this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all

the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool

all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the

hall.

After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the

distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.

It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a

pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the

other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to

himself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she

be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate

that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit

came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,

sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid

gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard

as he could go.

Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very

hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:

`Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday

things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in

the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this

morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little

different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in

the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began

thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age

as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of

them.

`I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in such

long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm

sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,

oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I,

and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the

things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve,

and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear!

I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the

Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.

London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,

and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been

changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"'

and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons,

and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and

strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--

`How doth the little crocodile

Improve his shining tail,

And pour the waters of the Nile

On every golden scale!

`How cheerfully he seems to grin,

How neatly spread his claws,

And welcome little fishes in

With gently smiling jaws!'

`I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and

her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabel

after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little

house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so

many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm

Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their

heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look

up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I

like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down

here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a

sudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their heads

down! I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'

As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was

surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little

white kid gloves while she was talking. `How CAN I have done

that?' she thought. `I must be growing small again.' She got up

and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that,

as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high,

and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the

cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it

hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.

`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at

the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in

existence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed

back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut

again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as

before, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child,

`for I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare

it's too bad, that it is!'

As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another

moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first

idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in that

case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had

been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general

conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find

a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in

the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and

behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that

she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine

feet high.

`I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about,

trying to find her way out. `I shall be punished for it now, I

suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer

thing, to be sure! However, everything is queer to-day.'

Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a

little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at

first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then

she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that

it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.

`Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to this

mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should

think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in

trying.' So she began: `O Mouse, do you know the way out of

this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'

(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:

she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having

seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to a

mouse--a mouse--O mouse!' The Mouse looked at her rather

inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little

eyes, but it said nothing.

`Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `I

daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the

Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had

no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she

began again: `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in

her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the

water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. `Oh, I beg

your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the

poor animal's feelings. `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'

`Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate

voice. `Would YOU like cats if you were me?'

`Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: `don't be

angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah:

I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her.

She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself,

as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring so

nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and

she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital

one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,

for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt

certain it must be really offended. `We won't talk about her any

more if you'd rather not.'

`We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end

of his tail. `As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family

always HATED cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear

the name again!'

`I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the

subject of conversation. `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'

The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: `There is

such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!

A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly

brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and

it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I

can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you

know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!

He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a

sorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the

Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and

making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear! Do come back

again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't

like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam

slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice

thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get to

the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll

understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'

It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded

with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a

Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious

creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the

shore.

CHAPTER III

A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the

bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their

fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and

uncomfortable.

The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they

had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed

quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with

them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had

quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,

and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better';

and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,

and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no

more to be said.

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among

them, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL

soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large

ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes

anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad

cold if she did not get dry very soon.

`Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready?

This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!

"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was

soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been

of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and

Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'

`Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.

`I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very

politely: `Did you speak?'

`Not I!' said the Lory hastily.

`I thought you did,' said the Mouse. `--I proceed. "Edwin and

Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:

and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found

it advisable--"'

`Found WHAT?' said the Duck.

`Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: `of course you

know what "it" means.'

`I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said

the Duck: `it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is,

what did the archbishop find?'

The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,

`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William

and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was

moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you

getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it

spoke.

`As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: `it doesn't

seem to dry me at all.'

`In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `I

move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more

energetic remedies--'

`Speak English!' said the Eaglet. `I don't know the meaning of

half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do

either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile:

some of the other birds tittered audibly.

`What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,

`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'

`What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much

to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY

ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

`Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.'

(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter

day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`the

exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party

were placed along the course, here and there. There was no `One,

two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,

and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know

when the race was over. However, when they had been running half

an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called

out `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,

and asking, `But who has won?'

This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of

thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon

its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare,

in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At

last the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must have

prizes.'

`But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices

asked.

`Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with

one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,

calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand

in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt

water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.

There was exactly one a-piece all round.

`But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.

`Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. `What else have

you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.

`Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.

`Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.

Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo

solemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance of

this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short

speech, they all cheered.

Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked

so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not

think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,

looking as solemn as she could.

The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise

and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not

taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on

the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again

in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

`You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,

`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half

afraid that it would be offended again.

`Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to

Alice, and sighing.

`It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with

wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?' And

she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so

that her idea of the tale was something like this:--

`Fury said to a

mouse, That he

met in the

house,

"Let us

both go to

law: I will

prosecute

YOU. --Come,

I'll take no

denial; We

must have a

trial: For

really this

morning I've

nothing

to do."

Said the

mouse to the

cur, "Such

a trial,

dear Sir,

With

no jury

or judge,

would be

wasting

our

breath."

"I'll be

judge, I'll

be jury,"

Said

cunning

old Fury:

"I'll

try the

whole

cause,

and

condemn

you

to

death."'

`You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.

`What are you thinking of?'

`I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: `you had got to

the fifth bend, I think?'

`I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.

`A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and

looking anxiously about her. `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'

`I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up

and walking away. `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'

`I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. `But you're so easily

offended, you know!'

The Mouse only growled in reply.

`Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after

it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but

the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little

quicker.

`What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it

was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of

saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you

never to lose YOUR temper!' `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the

young Crab, a little snappishly. `You're enough to try the

patience of an oyster!'

`I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,

addressing nobody in particular. `She'd soon fetch it back!'

`And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'

said the Lory.

Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about

her pet: `Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for

catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her

after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look

at it!'

This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.

Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began

wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be

getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary

called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my

dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts

they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.

`I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a

melancholy tone. `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm

sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I

wonder if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice

began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.

In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of

footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping

that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to

finish his story.

CHAPTER IV

The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and

looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;

and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess!

Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me

executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have

dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was

looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she

very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were

nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her

swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and

the little door, had vanished completely.

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,